[The Onion] Pros and Cons of Homeschooling

[pocaracas]

http://www.theonion.com/articles/the-pro...ing,35947/


PROS:

• Better prepares children for modern world in which they never have to talk to people with different opinions
  
• Guest lecturer Uncle Ken
  
• Parental brainwashing much more efficient than government brainwashing
  
• Sex education can be taught using family-approved euphemisms
  
• No embarrassment when child accidentally calls teacher Mom
  
• Primes child to eventually work from home, live at home, die at home
  
• Despite its demanding workload, Dad’s History of Billy Joel class is pretty interesting
  

CONS:

• Have to spend time with child
  
• High cost of adding cafeteria, auditorium, gym to house
  
• Teacher unable to reuse joke material
  
• Onus of bullying falls on parents
  
• Higher rate of STDs in students who’ve never watched an educational improv troupe act out the dangers of unprotected sex
  
• Slightly more difficult to get rid of underperforming teachers
  
• Almost impossible to punish a child who is already being subjected to homeschooling