Spare the rod, spoil the child

[Cato]

I always wanted my children to understand that being within arms reach of me was the safest place in the world. A temporary shelter of sorts where the world couldn't reach them as I helped teach them how to navigate life's travails. I couldn't reconcile corporeal punishment with this idea.

.

[Mystical]

Jacob,

I honestly feel like spanking bottoms is baby talk. It's primal, and needed when they're babies and have no other language to communicate with, and it's not even remembered or harmful to their psyche. They learn from it.
The second those kids can start reasoning-- I think spanking's off the table. Threatening a child with physical pain is barbaric. They're in your care, and if you're too lazy to follow through and discipline them correctly: shame on you. Like these people.

so tonight my girls were put down for a early bedtime with a hard spanking with the paddle after there were playing and broke the lamp in my room and there is no light in my room for tonight I just had my laptop to give me light for tonight this mommy is not very happy tonight

CMON, a paddle spank?? For an accident?????? Then she is so unsure of herself she must get on facebook and get other dipwads who don't know how to parent, to re-affirm her.

I can think of a million better ways to handle that incident. Like having the kids go into their rooms and dish out all of the money they own out of their piggy banks, and be told that their future allowances will go towards the new lamp. Then, yes, sent to bed early. Accidents happen, but if you just spank their butts then how are they supposed to know the repurcussions of their actions?

Just venting is all: today my twin 8 year old boys had to go to their doctor for a check up, and to have blood tested (they both have medical issues so have blood draw every month) well my one 8 year old locked himself in the bathroom at the doctors office because he didn't want his blood taken or to have an iv put in because his body is a little low on potasium (not sure i spelled that right). I always tell him the sooner he sits down and lets the doctors do their job the sooner it's over and we can go home. He always has a tantrum while there but him locking himself in the bathroom was a bit embarrasing lol. I hope he'll never do that again.
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2 people like this.


poor baby .. needles scare me! i give you so much credit (hug)
Like · May 13


I know i felt so so bad for him sadly i had to give him a small spanking because he was in there for about and hour after constantly telling him to come out but it was just a small one and i cuddled him after. And i'm holding him while they are taking his blood in all so he won't freak out so much needles do suck.Like · 1 · May 13

Poor baby. I agree you were right to warm his bottom a little, but I HATE needles too,!! I would have probably hid in the bathroom myself!! I can't imagine going through it every month
Like · 1 · May 13

I know that is why i felt horrible about giving him a spanking. But i let him know the spanking was for not listening, not because he was scared.

So you're telling me that not only did this child have an emotional breakdown over a very understandable no-choice event--but then she smacked his bottom? In public. Seems to me she was more upset about him not listening to her for an hour, that she felt she had to have retribution when he did come out. For her arrogance, not his well being. Then her *feeling bad about it just re-inforces the child's impressions that what she did was wrong! Cuz it was.

All she just did was show how much of a weak individual she is, to her children by spanking them not on her own volition but out of the "spare the rod spoil the child" bible book rules that she has no power over either. She simply multiplied their feeling of powerlessness in doctors offices, and they lost respect for her ultimately if not in short term as well.

What I would have done is told the child to come out, that we won't be doing this test today, take him home, talk with him about it after he's spent time in timeout, and taken privileges away from him while re-iterating that he has to take care of himself like his brother who got the shot did, before he can play this or do that. Then take him back in another day when he's decided its what he has to do, for him.

In response to a pic of twin 3yr olds sitting together crying, having a tantrum in the store.


Pat Byrne
Hate to see brats like this in a store
Like · Jul 11 at 4:12am

Thomas Young
I spank both of them real good they should know enough to behave while there out I'd make there butts good and sore for sure.....
Like · Jul 11 at 4:46am

Thomas Young
I hope she got her little ass spanked real good and hard....

This.. this just makes me think they're evil people.

Okay please tell me what you think. I have a four year old stepdaughter that gets spanked and usually often cause she is stubborn . Her dad usually gives her light taps with a thin ruler which give just a little sting. However serious infractions get the belt or paddle. The other day at some friends if she didn't behave she would get paddled. Well she misbehaved and I said she would get 2 swats when we got home
She kept it up so I kept adding a swat for each misbehavior. After I got to 10 I said ok now its gonna be bare bottom
That little shit still kept it up! She was up to twelve by the time we got back. I didn't know what to do
Twelve paddles to a 4 year olds bare bottom is excessive but if I didn't do it she would not listen next time. What would you do?



Joe Cyrus
I would give her the 12 bare bottom swats! Personally, I believe she is testing you, and perhaps doesn't believe you will go through with it.
Like · 2 · Jun 29
Andrea Sorrells
Ok but I live in Illinois and that would of left marks. That means I go to jail.
Like · 1 · Jun 29
Joe Cyrus
Whose going to see them? And if you are needing to give her 12 and worried it is to much, don't spank as hard!
Like · Jun 29
Andrea Sorrells
I don't know who would see them but I'm afraid to find out.
Like · 1 · Jun 29
Andrea Sorrells
I also have an 8 year old stepson and he usually very well behaved but got grounded for 2 weeks.
Like · 1 · Jun 29
Andrea Sorrells
He was begging to be unfounded about 9 days in. So I said ok if you want out of it go pick a switch and let me blister your bottom. I figured he wwould say no way but he actually did it.
Like · 2 · Jun 29
Joe Cyrus
Well then I guess you have one of two choices in the matter. Follow through and show your stepdaughter that you will not tolerate her behavior, or don't follow through and show your stepdaughter that your threats are empty and she can continue to misbehave while out with you.

Here's how abuse happens. It starts off with well meaning corrections and ends up a battle of wills. Kids, will, test you. Don't fail the fucking test.

Oh and Adolescents getting spanked is just a joke. An absolute disdainful shameful act that hurts their self confidence and psyche more than anything.


I'm glad you haven't swatted your kids. They'll be better off for it, studies say. I know what it's like to get into a headstrong disagreement testing of power moment with a kid. You just have to remember that you're the adult, they're the child, and the very food they eat is provided for, by you. Remind them of that. Tell her that if she doesn't eat her breakfast this morning, then that's the only breakfast she'll be able to eat for a month. Or give her a choice (choices are always nice as it gets a kid to back out of the corner). She can eat this breakfast, or choose not to eat it and opt out of supper. Simple. When suppertime comes and she begs for food and you feel bad for starving her: offer her that cereal It's food. And she'll be so hungry it'll probably taste good, too.

Be smarter than the kids and you'll never have to raise a finger at them.

Anyways that's my opinion on the matter.

[Losty]

I don't think it's ever okay to spank a baby either. Babies do not understand right from wrong and they also do not have the mental capacity to connect a spanking with any wrong doing to then adjust their actions. At whatever point your baby can connect those two things, they can just as easily connect a stern voice and a firm no.
Luckie, I only read the first 2 posts in your post and I was just so annoyed that I could not go on reading that garbage.
You want to read something seriously disturbing check out To Train Up a Child, by the Pearls. Sick disgusting child abuse manual. Yea, I learned how to lightly slap or pinch my baby's legs for biting while nursing. Fuck those people that's horrible.

While I would never go as far as to say people who lightly spank young children are child abusers, I will say that I think it's wrong. Spanking IMHO is something people do when they're too lazy to raise their children and would rather just scare them into submission.

Dominance, submission, obedience, spanking, etc. are all things that should be between consenting adults. Not parents and children.

[Tonus]

Spare the rod, spoil the child

Motto of the Catholic Priest's League, amirite?

[Thumpalumpacus]

An open-palmed paddling on the backside is not a beating, or abusive. Luckie's point that once they can reason paddling is off the list of options is good. I may have paddled my son eight or ten times in his life, and never after age five, iirc.

As for the slippery slope, it's not hard to stop. I love my son and didn't want to hurt him; I wanted to punctuate the point, so to speak. Also, I made a rule for myself that I couldn't raise my hand to him if I was angry. Time-out it was, at that point.

[atheist04330]

We will never get to mars because of people like this.

[Hoopington]

I'm glad you haven't swatted your kids. They'll be better off for it, studies say. I know what it's like to get into a headstrong disagreement testing of power moment with a kid. You just have to remember that you're the adult, they're the child, and the very food they eat is provided for, by you. Remind them of that. Tell her that if she doesn't eat her breakfast this morning, then that's the only breakfast she'll be able to eat for a month. Or give her a choice (choices are always nice as it gets a kid to back out of the corner). She can eat this breakfast, or choose not to eat it and opt out of supper. Simple. When suppertime comes and she begs for food and you feel bad for starving her: offer her that cereal It's food. And she'll be so hungry it'll probably taste good, too.

Be smarter than the kids and you'll never have to raise a finger at them.

Anyways that's my opinion on the matter.

You would accuse someone of smacking their child "abuse" but advocate taking away breakfast for a month as punishment?

That would seem a fairly odd moral position to take.

[Dystopia]

I was never spanked, luckily, my parents taught me morality, ethics and good social behavior without having the need to beat the shit out of me. Sometimes my mother spanked me two or three times in a row in my butt with her hand or a flip flop, but that didn't hurt much and never traumatized me. I grew up just fine. I think it is important to educate kids properly from a very young age, my aunt allows her children to do everything they want and doesn't correct them until they are 4 or 5 years old, the result is that it becomes a lot harder to educate them properly from that age. I think parents who don't give a shit about a proper education and support for their kids and start spanking them when they (as a consequence of deficient education from an early age) become shitty uneducated people should revise their methods.

By the way I didn't enter the link because I don't have a FB but I assumed this was about spanking children by the content of the comments/replies.

[Jenny A]

I didn't grow up with a no spanking policy , but I was spanked just once, by my father that I can remember. It was richly deserved---not because I'd done one big thing, but because I'd done the 20th purposefully annoying one within a hour. And I did learn a rather valuable lesson, i.e. that parents don't have endless patience and that if you poke a snake with a stick, it will eventually bite. If my brother even got I spanking, I don't remember it. Discipline was pretty good in our house most of the time.

My husband and I don't have a no spanking policy, but we both naturally go for other methods first. Time out and disapproval worked so escalation wasn't necessary. The result is we've never found we needed to spank them. So we haven't. We've also never had to ground them. When the girls were toddlers it could be exhausting because consistently correcting behavior and trying to stop problems before the start were what made this work for us. By the time they were 7 or 8 it got easier. So far the teen years are a joy.

Rereading this I sound smug even to me. I don't mean to. I think we got lucky in getting the particular kids we've got as much as that we are good parents.

I don't think spanking kids on the butt is abusive. It's probably necessary sometimes. I just think there are usually more effective methods.

[Mystical]

I'm glad you haven't swatted your kids. They'll be better off for it, studies say. I know what it's like to get into a headstrong disagreement testing of power moment with a kid. You just have to remember that you're the adult, they're the child, and the very food they eat is provided for, by you. Remind them of that. Tell her that if she doesn't eat her breakfast this morning, then that's the only breakfast she'll be able to eat for a month. Or give her a choice (choices are always nice as it gets a kid to back out of the corner). She can eat this breakfast, or choose not to eat it and opt out of supper. Simple. When suppertime comes and she begs for food and you feel bad for starving her: offer her that cereal It's food. And she'll be so hungry it'll probably taste good, too.

Be smarter than the kids and you'll never have to raise a finger at them.

Anyways that's my opinion on the matter.

You would accuse someone of smacking their child "abuse" but advocate taking away breakfast for a month as punishment?

That would seem a fairly odd moral position to take.

It seems odd because you aren't reading what I said right I surmise.