college Professor

[Cyberman]

That's the kind of thing some shithead does for free.

Sadly, this is all too true. I can't imagine anyone getting paid for this piece of shit (actually one of my favourites; and not for the right reasons):

Soldier can drive a jeep without engine

[CapnAwesome]

These stories are first and foremost, not true. If it were even close to being true it would give a few more details than that. Of course they are also aimed at an audience who is predisposed towards believing in bullshit anyway. I think there are a few actually important things that you can glean from there this particular spam mail that Christians believe.

1. The likelihood of people to believe something simply because it reinforces their beliefs.
2. Demonizing the education system. This is that science or philosophy doesn't contradict their ideas, but rather it's all just some higher education conspiracy to produce atheists.
3. Violence is okay in the name of God. The villain professor is stating an opinion and the correct response is violence.
4. An endorsement of our shitty foreign policy. How in the world are soldiers in Iraq or Afghanistan protecting our freedom of speech? Neither of those countries remotely threaten freedom of speech in the United States.

There sometimes is a lot more to shitty spam email than meets the eye.

[atheist04330]

CapnAwesome wins thread

[FreeTony]

It's funny how God always has to use humans to do things. And seems to endorse the actions of believers on both sides of a war.

[ignoramus]

It's funny how God always has to use humans to do things. And seems to endorse the actions of believers on both sides of a war.

Gods Jedi mind trick is easy on 90% of humans.

[jesus_wept]

Isn't the op's quote basically just some sort of veiled threat? Keep quiet or good will send someone to punch you in the face... How very Christian.

[Angrboda]

I think there are a few actually important things that you can glean from there this particular spam mail that Christians believe.

1. The likelihood of people to believe something simply because it reinforces their beliefs.

People are amazingly uncritical of things which agree with their viewpoint. It's not just a Christian problem, it's a human one. Our psychological biases are such that belief ratchets itself ever tighter, even in the face of contrary evidence. I would admire people who read sources from all sides of the issue, except I'm extremely skeptical that a) they really do, and b) that it has the effect of "rectifying" their opinions (as noted, bias naturally inclines us to mishandle sources that disagree with us). Me, I'm too lazy. I'll look for the first credible source I can find, and *bam* I post that.

2. Demonizing the education system. This is that science or philosophy doesn't contradict their ideas, but rather it's all just some higher education conspiracy to produce atheists.

Anti-intellectualism is quite popular in conservative religious people. It's sort of a pre-emptive strike I suppose, because intellectuals never have anything good to say about religion. What's that old saying, "If the facts are against you, argue the law. If the law is against you, argue the facts. If both are against you, yell like hell."

[Mister Agenda]

my mom sent me this:


A college Professor stood on his chair and said, “If your imaginary friend really exists, then maybe he can knock me off this chair”. Nothing happened. The class was quiet. “See! Now I’ll give it a couple more minutes.” An Army Vet stood, punched him in the face, knocking him out, then sat back down. As the Professor came to, he looked at student and said, “WHY’D YOU DO THAT!” Vet said “GOD was busy protecting my buddies still fighting for your right to say and do stupid stuff like this, so HE SENT ME!!”


What the fuck?
she said this really happened...
But she did not say where

And she won't. The details are unknowable because it never happened. Stories like this have been circulating since before the internet, it's just a Christian revenge fantasy for how they wish things would go in real life.

In actual real life, a professor that acted like that would be reprimanded (at least) by the college's administrators, and the vet would be expelled and up on felony charges unless the professor was way more tolerant of being assaulted/knocked out than the vet was of him exercising his free speech. Of course in real life, it would be hard to find a vet dumb enough to shove someone off a chair in the first place.

You might reply to your mom that it was awfully generous of the professor not to press charges, but maybe a violent criminal like that vet shouldn't be on the streets. let alone roaming a college campus.

---

so its not true... Thats good

The funny thing is, one version got made into a movie that came out in late spring or early summer: God is Not Dead. Kevin Sorbo plays the atheist professor. The only thing worse than the way it makes atheists look is the way it makes Christians look.

---

You know, we should make up bullshit stories like this of atheists shutting down religious nuts and start spreading them.

Or maybe not. We don't want to sink to their level.

There's a way to make up the bullshit stories without sinking to their level. Parody. This isn't mine, but I wish it were. Found it on RationalWiki:

A liberal Muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist
"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!"

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.

"How old is this rock?"

The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied "4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian"

"Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now"

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears.

The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named "Small Government" flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

Semper Fi

[Minimalist]

Soldier can drive a jeep without engine

As I've said many times....there is nothing fucking stupider than a believer...in anything.

[StealthySkeptic]

---

my mom sent me this:


A college Professor stood on his chair and said, “If your imaginary friend really exists, then maybe he can knock me off this chair”. Nothing happened. The class was quiet. “See! Now I’ll give it a couple more minutes.” An Army Vet stood, punched him in the face, knocking him out, then sat back down. As the Professor came to, he looked at student and said, “WHY’D YOU DO THAT!” Vet said “GOD was busy protecting my buddies still fighting for your right to say and do stupid stuff like this, so HE SENT ME!!”


What the fuck?
she said this really happened...
But she did not say where

And she won't. The details are unknowable because it never happened. Stories like this have been circulating since before the internet, it's just a Christian revenge fantasy for how they wish things would go in real life.

In actual real life, a professor that acted like that would be reprimanded (at least) by the college's administrators, and the vet would be expelled and up on felony charges unless the professor was way more tolerant of being assaulted/knocked out than the vet was of him exercising his free speech. Of course in real life, it would be hard to find a vet dumb enough to shove someone off a chair in the first place.

You might reply to your mom that it was awfully generous of the professor not to press charges, but maybe a violent criminal like that vet shouldn't be on the streets. let alone roaming a college campus.

---

so its not true... Thats good

The funny thing is, one version got made into a movie that came out in late spring or early summer: God is Not Dead. Kevin Sorbo plays the atheist professor. The only thing worse than the way it makes atheists look is the way it makes Christians look.

---

You know, we should make up bullshit stories like this of atheists shutting down religious nuts and start spreading them.

Or maybe not. We don't want to sink to their level.

---

There's a way to make up the bullshit stories without sinking to their level. Parody. This isn't mine, but I wish it were. Found it on RationalWiki:

A liberal Muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist
"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!"

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.

"How old is this rock?"

The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied "4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian"

"Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now"

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears.

The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named "Small Government" flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

Semper Fi

That parody is the best thing ever. I freaking love RationalWiki!