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Atheist Forums › Community › Religion › Christianity v
Does Baby Jesus really cry each time we rub one out? Why sweat the small stuff, god?

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Does Baby Jesus really cry each time we rub one out? Why sweat the small stuff, god?
vorlon13 Offline
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#31
RE: Does Baby Jesus really cry each time we rub one out? Why sweat the small stuff, god?
August 1, 2014 at 11:17 pm
(August 1, 2014 at 7:02 pm)KUSA Wrote: You know some people think that beasty masturbation is smut. I'll bet someone out there whacked their own meat looking at the monkey.



Um . . .

Not the monkey, but I did imagine the turtle was in me.

His timing was rather tepid.


ROFLOL
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Rob_W75 Offline
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#32
RE: Does Baby Jesus really cry each time we rub one out? Why sweat the small stuff, god?
August 2, 2014 at 11:19 pm
(August 1, 2014 at 9:48 pm)KUSA Wrote:
(August 1, 2014 at 7:35 pm)Lemonvariable72 Wrote: Yes actually. Onan spill his seed on the ground and god killed him for it. Its in Genesis.

He actually killed him for not getting his dead brother's bitch pregnant. It had nothing specific to due with the spilled jizz it was disobedience to gawd.

Genesis 38:9
But Onan knew that the child would not be his; so whenever he slept with his brother's wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from providing offspring for his brother.
Genesis 38:10
What he did was wicked in the LORD's sight; so the LORD put him to death also.

God doesn't like the money shot I guess.
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Cato Offline
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#33
RE: Does Baby Jesus really cry each time we rub one out? Why sweat the small stuff, god?
August 2, 2014 at 11:31 pm
(August 1, 2014 at 5:34 pm)Rob_W75 Wrote: Is there a particular passage in the Bible that condemns masturbation?

No, but I'm pretty sure masturbation in condoms is frowned upon.
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Tartarus Sauce Offline
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#34
RE: Does Baby Jesus really cry each time we rub one out? Why sweat the small stuff, god?
August 4, 2014 at 5:50 pm
Making Jesus cry is half the reason I do it.
freedomfromfallacy » I'm weighing my tears to see if the happy ones weigh the same as the sad ones.
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Atheist Forums › Community › Religion › Christianity v
Does Baby Jesus really cry each time we rub one out? Why sweat the small stuff, god?

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