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Current time: April 19, 2024, 11:01 pm

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Why knocking is dangerous.
#1
Why knocking is dangerous.
It’s midnight in Texas. Everyone in the neighborhood is asleep and dreaming. Suddenly, someone is knocking on the door at the little brown house on the corner. Knock two times with the door knocker. A sleepy man comes to the door in his pajamas carrying an oil lamp. We’ll call him Fred. Fred calls out, “Who is it?” And the person knocking on the door calls back, “It’s Moisha, your friend from Hebrew school. Remember me? I’m on a long trip and need somewhere to spend the night. Please can I stay with you?”

Fred opens the door wide and gives Moisha a great big hug. Then Moisha says, “Got anything to eat? Some nice bread, maybe?” Fred goes to his pantry and finds nothing but crumbs. Oh no! How is he going to feed Moisha? Then Fred remembers that his next door neighbor in the big grey house has the most amazing bread in his pantry ALL THE TIME! He tells Moisha to sit down and the table and runs next door.

Knock three times with the door knocker. Say: “Hershel, wake up! It’s Fred from next door. My friend Moisha is on a trip and needs something to eat, but my bread is all gone. Please can I have three of your loaves?”

But Hershel is snug in his bed. In fact, his whole family is tucked into his bed and if he gets up, they’ll all wake up and the baby will start crying and his wife will be grumpy in the morning. So Hershel says, “No. Go away.”

Did Fred give up? No! Knock four times with the door knocker. Say: “Hershel, please give me some bread.” Wait a short time, then knock five times with the door knocker. Say: “Hershel, please be my friend and give me three loaves. Wait a short time, then knock six times with the door knocker. Say: “Hershel, I really, really need that bread. My friend is tired and hungry and I need to help him because he doesn’t have anywhere else to stay or anyone else to feed him. I REALLY NEED THAT BREAD. PLEEEEASE?”

What do you think happened next? Hershel got up and shot Fred in the face. That’s right, Hershel eventually realized that Fred was not going to stop knocking! So he got out of bed, grabbed his gun, unlocked the door and shot Fred with a smile. Even in the middle of the night, Hershel could see that Fred had a lack of respect for boundaries, and eventually he gave Fred exactly what he needed.

Moisha then proceeded to the next house. Hershel called after her "no ones lives there!"
Moisha knew that if she was persistent help would come. She knocked for days and nights but no one came. She eventually died from dehydration with arthritis in her right arm.
(August 21, 2017 at 11:31 pm)KevinM1 Wrote: "I'm not a troll"
Religious Views: He gay

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Hammy Wrote:and we also have a sheep on our bed underneath as well
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#2
RE: Why knocking is dangerous.
Wonk waaa..

I guess this is what happens when staw men grow up unchecked..
Big Grin
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#3
RE: Why knocking is dangerous.
Lol Drich. Admit it, my version is more fun than yours. I don't think you can call it a straw man though. I could be wrong, I suck a debate terms. I just made up a similar story to one I read in a Sunday school lesson. Made it more realistic. :p

It's funny...to me.
(August 21, 2017 at 11:31 pm)KevinM1 Wrote: "I'm not a troll"
Religious Views: He gay

0/10

Hammy Wrote:and we also have a sheep on our bed underneath as well
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#4
RE: Why knocking is dangerous.
Yeah but Drippy thinks his version is true.
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#5
RE: Why knocking is dangerous.
lol ROFLOL
(August 21, 2017 at 11:31 pm)KevinM1 Wrote: "I'm not a troll"
Religious Views: He gay

0/10

Hammy Wrote:and we also have a sheep on our bed underneath as well
Reply
#6
RE: Why knocking is dangerous.
I bet the guy who shot him was Christian!
An atheist would've called the cops!
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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#7
RE: Why knocking is dangerous.
He'd better have gone to the nearest KFC.

Sanders is love
Sanders is life
"Every luxury has a deep price. Every indulgence, a cosmic cost. Each fiber of pleasure you experience causes equivalent pain somewhere else. This is the first law of emodynamics [sic]. Joy can be neither created nor destroyed. The balance of happiness is constant.

Fact: Every time you eat a bite of cake, someone gets horsewhipped.

Facter: Every time two people kiss, an orphanage collapses.

Factest: Every time a baby is born, an innocent animal is severely mocked for its physical appearance. Don't be a pleasure hog. Your every smile is a dagger. Happiness is murder.

Vote "yes" on Proposition 1321. Think of some kids. Some kids."
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#8
RE: Why knocking is dangerous.
(August 20, 2014 at 6:45 am)oukoida Wrote: He'd better have gone to the nearest KFC.

Sanders is love
Sanders is life
ROFLOL

Shrek is love
Shriek is life

Vosur just read that to me the night before last. It was so creepy and wrong but still funny for some unknown reason.
(August 21, 2017 at 11:31 pm)KevinM1 Wrote: "I'm not a troll"
Religious Views: He gay

0/10

Hammy Wrote:and we also have a sheep on our bed underneath as well
Reply
#9
RE: Why knocking is dangerous.
(August 20, 2014 at 6:49 am)Losty Wrote:
(August 20, 2014 at 6:45 am)oukoida Wrote: He'd better have gone to the nearest KFC.

Sanders is love
Sanders is life
ROFLOL

Shrek is love
Shriek is life

Vosur just read that to me the night before last. It was so creepy and wrong but still funny for some unknown reason.

Oh, and while we are at it: http://xfamily.org/index.php/Loving_Jesus
These people sure like knocking!


Credit to the people in this thread
"Every luxury has a deep price. Every indulgence, a cosmic cost. Each fiber of pleasure you experience causes equivalent pain somewhere else. This is the first law of emodynamics [sic]. Joy can be neither created nor destroyed. The balance of happiness is constant.

Fact: Every time you eat a bite of cake, someone gets horsewhipped.

Facter: Every time two people kiss, an orphanage collapses.

Factest: Every time a baby is born, an innocent animal is severely mocked for its physical appearance. Don't be a pleasure hog. Your every smile is a dagger. Happiness is murder.

Vote "yes" on Proposition 1321. Think of some kids. Some kids."
Reply
#10
RE: Why knocking is dangerous.
(August 19, 2014 at 2:26 pm)Losty Wrote: What do you think happened next? Hershel got up and shot Fred in the face.
The moral? DON'T INTERRUPT HERSCHEL DURING A MARATHON WANKING SESSION. Poor Fred had to leave town in shame, because everyone called him "Bukkake Fred" after that.
"Well, evolution is a theory. It is also a fact. And facts and theories are different things, not rungs in a hierarchy of increasing certainty. Facts are the world's data. Theories are structures of ideas that explain and interpret facts. Facts don't go away when scientists debate rival theories to explain them. Einstein's theory of gravitation replaced Newton's in this century, but apples didn't suspend themselves in midair, pending the outcome. And humans evolved from ape- like ancestors whether they did so by Darwin's proposed mechanism or by some other yet to be discovered."

-Stephen Jay Gould
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