Ideas on how to best blaspheme?

[Jenny A]

I'm spending my life making "graven images" which I call watercolors. Does that count?

Wow! that's a lot of sin!! Aren't you afraid of getting smote for that?

And most of my buyers are either Christian or Jewish. Amazing isn't it? Of course I'm not quite such an egoist as to think anyone worships the watercolors.

[Brakeman]

I guess you just don't have what it takes to truly hate God the way you pretend to want to.

Well, all it used to take was to touch his pretty Arc box without ill intent to provoke the god man to a smitin' fit. Now I can't even come up with a blaspheme foul enough to even make god burp in my face. Did satan succeed in cutting off his balls?

[Jenny A]

I guess you just don't have what it takes to truly hate God the way you pretend to want to. If your not willing to take one (in the can) for the team then perhaps your playing for the wrong side.

I guess that's the point really. I don't hate god. I simply don't have any faith in his existence and I think the chances he does exist are about 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 to 1 based on the current lack of evidence and the improbability of such an entity.

I do hate the things some Christians, Jews, Muslims, Mormons, and Hindus do in because they do believe in him. But I don't really hate any of the people of those faiths generally and blasphemy hurts no one but believers. So blasphemy just for the fun of it hasn't much appeal.

I do like parodies like pastafarianism because they might possibly educate believers, if not in the error of their beliefs, at least in the efficacy of the First Amendment.

[vorlon13]

Gay butt sex? It is an abomination after all.

I spill my semen on the ground plenty as is, but as I'm straight, and married, I'll just have to lie to god and say I'm secretly coveting other men's asses, and their donkeys too. If any of you do talk to god, tell him I'm gay'er than the whole of Sodom.

According to Jimmy Carter, the impure thoughts are just as bad as actually doing it.

So, to help with your quest,

clear your mind, and imagine I am approaching you with a bucket of lube and my Jeff Strycker dildo, you're high on coke, and meth so you can go for 3 days without stopping. Styx is playing Heavy Metal Poisoning on my stereo at full volume, I am dressed as Little Joe Cartwright . . . .

[Drich]

I guess you just don't have what it takes to truly hate God the way you pretend to want to.

Well, all it used to take was to touch his pretty Arc box without ill intent to provoke the god man to a smitin' fit. Now I can't even come up with a blaspheme foul enough to even make god burp in my face. Did satan succeed in cutting off his balls?

Well, no you 'can' according to kusa. You just don't have the stones to come out of that particular closet. Looks like maybe satan is in the ball collecting business after all.

[Brakeman]

Well, all it used to take was to touch his pretty Arc box without ill intent to provoke the god man to a smitin' fit. Now I can't even come up with a blaspheme foul enough to even make god burp in my face. Did satan succeed in cutting off his balls?

Well, no you 'can' according to kusa. You just don't have the stones to come out of that particular closet. Looks like maybe satan is in the ball collecting business after all.

You haven't yet explained why god has changed so much since the bible days as far as his his temper being provoked. Why does nothing warrant an obvious smiting anymore?

[psychoslice]

Na, I don't like playing this childish game of tit for tat, why lower yourself to their level ?.

[Minimalist]

Cross-dressing seems to be a big no-no.

Deuteronomy 22:5 "A woman shall not wear anything that pertains to a man, nor shall a man put on a woman's garment; for whoever does these things is an abomination to the LORD your God."

I imagine that Eddie Izzard is fucked.

[Drich]

Well, no you 'can' according to kusa. You just don't have the stones to come out of that particular closet. Looks like maybe satan is in the ball collecting business after all.

You haven't yet explained why god has changed so much since the bible days as far as his his temper being provoked. Why does nothing warrant an obvious smiting anymore?

...and you have explained why if your looking to blaspheme God you won't take it in the can..

[Losty]

Cross-dressing seems to be a big no-no.

Deuteronomy 22:5 "A woman shall not wear anything that pertains to a man, nor shall a man put on a woman's garment; for whoever does these things is an abomination to the LORD your God."

I imagine that Eddie Izzard is fucked.

But but he is smart and funny and sexy...I'm pretty sure that biblically speaking this means he can do whatever he wants.

---

What is the best way to increase my best "sin per hour" record?

If christians are right and I am just an atheist because I want to sin, then I think I haven't been living up to their expectations. I don't want to bulk up my quota on hurting anyone's feelings except sky daddy and his incestuous son, so I need ideas to be sociable, but put satan's demons to shame. Any Ideas?
So far my sinning against god has been quite dull, the best I've accomplished for myself has been a snicker or two..

Thinking about sin is just as sinful as actually sinning. I suggest you masturbate to the thought of every sin imaginable. That should do the trick