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Atheist Forums › Community › Religion › Christianity v
Unicorns???

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Unicorns???
simplemoss Offline
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#1
Unicorns???
November 30, 2014 at 10:47 am
I just learned that there are several bible verses that mention unicorns?

Yeah so what the fuck???
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abaris Offline
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#2
RE: Unicorns???
November 30, 2014 at 10:58 am (This post was last modified: November 30, 2014 at 10:58 am by abaris.)
Quote:
Job 39:9-12King James Version (KJV)

9 Will the unicorn be willing to serve thee, or abide by thy crib?

10 Canst thou bind the unicorn with his band in the furrow? or will he harrow the valleys after thee?

11 Wilt thou trust him, because his strength is great? or wilt thou leave thy labour to him?

12 Wilt thou believe him, that he will bring home thy seed, and gather it into thy barn?

And that's what answers in Genesis has to say about it. Fasten your seat belts, ladies and gentlemen. We're entering serious religious bullshit turbulences.

Quote: The absence of a unicorn in the modern world should not cause us to doubt its past existence. (Think of the dodo bird. It does not exist today, but we do not doubt that it existed in the past.). Eighteenth century reports from southern Africa described rock drawings and eyewitness accounts of fierce, single-horned, equine-like animals.
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LostLocke Offline
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#3
RE: Unicorns???
November 30, 2014 at 11:19 am
(November 30, 2014 at 10:58 am)abaris Wrote: And that's what answers in Genesis has to say about it. Fasten your seat belts, ladies and gentlemen. We're entering serious religious bullshit turbulences.

Quote:Eighteenth century reports from southern Africa described rock drawings and eyewitness accounts of fierce, single-horned, equine-like animals.
Because there's no way that could have been a rhino. In Africa. It must have been a unicorn! Clap
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dyresand Offline
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#4
RE: Unicorns???
November 30, 2014 at 11:26 am
(November 30, 2014 at 10:47 am)simplemoss Wrote: I just learned that there are several bible verses that mention unicorns?

Yeah so what the fuck???

Biblical unicorns.. nah they just stole it from various other mythologies like their savior jesus.
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vermin Offline
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#5
RE: Unicorns???
November 30, 2014 at 11:54 am
*Snort* I started reading that as the poly term "unicorn". Made things a little bit steamier.
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The Grand Nudger Online
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#6
RE: Unicorns???
November 30, 2014 at 12:57 pm (This post was last modified: November 30, 2014 at 1:00 pm by The Grand Nudger.)
Keep reading Job, when the author is done talking unicorns in 39, he'll wax poetic about dragons in 41. The NIV actually re-imagines some as much more familiar animals. The unicorn as a wild ox, for example....strangely enough, they keep the dragon.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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simplemoss Offline
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#7
RE: Unicorns???
November 30, 2014 at 12:58 pm (This post was last modified: November 30, 2014 at 1:03 pm by simplemoss.)
Wait, so this is fucking real Christians believe unicorns fucking exist? Theres fossil recorda of dodo birds. There's no fossil records of fucking horses with horns. How is this not discussed or brought up more often. What's next am I gonna learn leprechauns are in the fucking quran???
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The Grand Nudger Online
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#8
RE: Unicorns???
November 30, 2014 at 1:02 pm (This post was last modified: November 30, 2014 at 1:03 pm by The Grand Nudger.)
Probably not, it isn't as though christians have actually read their bible (despite their constant claims to the contrary). I think that most christians think unicorns and dragons are fairytales - can't imagine why they would think that.....but I'm comfortable saying that they do.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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abaris Offline
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#9
RE: Unicorns???
November 30, 2014 at 1:02 pm (This post was last modified: November 30, 2014 at 1:03 pm by abaris.)
(November 30, 2014 at 12:58 pm)simplemoss Wrote: Wait, so this fucking real Christians believe unicorns fucking exist? Theres fossil recorda of dodo birds. There's no fossil records of fucking horses with horns. How is this not discussed or brought up more often. What's next am I gonna learn leprechauns are in the fucking quran???

What? Talking snakes weren't enough to convince you of the great wisdom of the bible?

I wonder what the seven headed dragon in revelations might do for you.
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Smaug Offline
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#10
RE: Unicorns???
November 30, 2014 at 1:03 pm
Quote:Theres fossil recorda of dodo birds. There's no fossil records of fucking horses with horns
As if it's some kind of a problem for people who believe in Global Flood and six thousand years old Earth. If you ask them about it the answer's going to be like "Satan removed all the unicorn remains to spread deception".
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Unicorns???



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