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An Uncommon Reintroduction
#1
An Uncommon Reintroduction
My first introduction to the forum was not so great. I had remembered that, but rereading it provided me with the remembrance of the reason why it was succinct rather than verbose.

After nearly two years of being on this forum, I have made the decision to reintroduce myself.

First, however, allow me to start with my upbringing and then my de-conversion from the evil clutches of religion. I have a vague recollection of posting in this subforum, but I cannot find the thread or post. Therefore, even though I tried to be brief, the following is my journey in that respect.

I was raised as a Roman Catholic, was baptized, did the rituals associated with the church at certain ages. We were a Sunday church-going family only through my early childhood, however. From what I could understand, we stopped attending because my grandmother had some sort of disagreement with the priest. We tried another church in town for a short while, but that did not last. The family was still religious even though we did not attend church, but the only times god seemed to be mentioned was when we said our nightly prayers. We were not a zealous family of believers.

I did not have a reintroduction into religion until I was in my late teens, near the end of my high school years. A friend of mine was religious and I understand today that I only fell into the clutches of the Pentecostal denomination due to the fact that I was desperate for friendship; I was a loner, an outcast, and the church seemed to be the only place I could find it at the time. I was a devout believer, much more so than I ever was as a Roman Catholic child, quite zealous to be more precise, and I believed wholeheartedly in what I read from the bible.

This was also a
coming out period for me. I was attempting to reconcile being gay with being Christian, and my new friends tried their best, but I understand now that their best was not a true acceptance of me but rather the typical attempt to change me into what they thought I should be in accordance with their beliefs. In the beginning they seemed fine with me being gay, stating that god loved me for who I was, but as time passed it became apparent that god no longer loved me for who I was because they wanted me to shed my homosexuality as though it was a piece of clothing that could simply be removed from my person. I did try, I am sad to state, to change who I was. After all, I was a true believer and I did want to not feel as different and abnormal as I was being made to feel.

I was rebaptized into the Christian faith. My family, mostly my grandmother, was not too pleased about that, but she never did try to convert me back to the Catholic faith.

At the time only a couple of people knew my secret, that I was gay, and one night in church was what brought about my eventual disconnection from religion. It was not to be a quick departure from the lies, but a slow and meaningful one. That night in church the pastor spoke to the congregation about a message from god, how someone in the church was struggling with the demon of homosexuality. My eyes were immediately opened, because I knew he was speaking about me. My eyes were not opened toward the goodness of the church or god, however. Rather, my eyes were opened toward the evils of the institution and the betrayal of the friendship into which I had placed so much stock. I looked over at my friend, knowing that it was her who had betrayed me.

I think I did allow the church to pray for me that night, wanting desperately to believe that they had my best interest at heart but also deep down I was finally awaking to the truth of just what a horrible evil the church truly was. This was around the time of my high school graduation, so I was not there much longer. I continued to attend mainly because of my friends and the sense of community I enjoyed.

When I attended college, I also attended a local church. My roommate happened to be quite religious and we attended together with a couple of his friends who also were new to the college that year. It was not long before I discovered the orator who would forever change my life. I printed out many of his works and I read them with a renewed understanding of what I had previously thought of as holy and truthful. His name is Robert Green Ingersoll, The Great Agnostic.

I eventually stopped attending the church near the college and when I went home for the Christmas holiday was the last time I ever stepped foot in a church again. As soon as I arrived back home, I was sucked into the church by my friends. The new year, 2000, was approaching, and most religious people believed the world might be ending. New Year's Eve was night of praying in church, and I found myself as devout as ever. I believe the fact that the world did not end was what truly broke my ties to the church, because I finally realized what a hoax it all was.


The church is not a safe haven unless one also believes the same as every other theist in that congregation. I was witness to so-called Christians bad-mouthing other denominations. I was witness to a personal betrayal because I could not be accepted for who I was. I was witness to the masks theists wear in order appear good and loving, while underneath they are merely as vicious as their god. I was witness to the truth, and the only thing it had to do with the bible, church, or god was that theists are hardly ever as good as they perceive themselves to be. They seem to think that a mere belief in god allows them license to a demeanor that is nothing more than hate disguised as love.

For a while after discovering Robert Green Ingersoll, I believe I was agnostic. I did not attempt to delve further than his works at that time. I was content being away from the church and having found myself no longer a prisoner of faith. Faith, however, is a fickle thing that can be hard to abandon, as most atheists who were once theists can attest to, and I eventually found myself discovering Wicca.

Wicca is much different than any other theistic path. I actually had nothing except positive experiences with Wicca as opposed to Christianity. I wore the pentacle, I had a book of shadows, I performed rituals and spells. A part of me knew that
magick was not real, but that did not deter me from the path of what I perceived as much more relevant, caring, loving than Christianity. I identified as a Wiccan for a quite a while, longer than I had been a Christian, until I made a slight shift that one could consider semantic. I decided to identify more as a pagan than a Wiccan. I use the term semantic, because I doubt there is much of a difference between the two terms, especially since Wicca is a mere sub category of paganism. During this time, I was posting on a site called Bolt. The Wicca and Christianity boards were my favorite. The site was shut down and I moved over to MySpace.

My beliefs began to change again when years later I discovered the religious forums on MySpace. Those forums no longer exist, but that is where I began my journey toward atheism. I eventually identified as an Agnostic Theist. Posting there helped me to come to terms in shedding theism altogether until I began to identify more as an atheist. Most militant, zealous, theists who de-convert also tend ot become militant atheists. I was no different in that respect. My militant outlook led me to identify as anti-theist.

When the MySpace forums were removed I did not post anywhere for a long time. I tried a couple of religious debate forums, but I was banned because of my straightforward, unapologetic way of posting. I mainly just floated around Facebook for a while.

I came across this forum nearly two years ago, and I hope to remain here for many more years to come.


As a militant anti-theist, I find absolutely no truth or relevance to religion, the bible, or the theistic god I view as purely non-existent. I will not apologize for the way I post in relation to theism and toward theists. Theism is a veritable plague that needs to be brought to the point where it no longer has any relevance in society, because even I know wiping it out completely is an impossibility, and the way I post will continue to reflect my abhorrence for that which is a veritable disease upon humanity. Theism stopped having any relevance when we began to reason. To cling to primitive ideas is unreasonable and merely aids in delusion. There is no good that theism can provide that cannot be found through secularism, and what good theism does profess to possess is never truly good at all.
"Never trust a fox. Looks like a dog, behaves like a cat."
~ Erin Hunter
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#2
RE: An Uncommon Reintroduction
Thank you very much for sharing your story. It sounds like you had been on a hell of a roller coaster, but you finally found the way out. You make lots of interesting points, and I can see my own views about religion reflected in your experience. Particularly the part about theists "love" being dependent on subscribing to their belief system.
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#3
RE: An Uncommon Reintroduction
Welcome aboard, again...you know where the fridge is.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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#4
RE: An Uncommon Reintroduction
I'd like to just note that you being an anti-theist is a different position from simply being an atheist - You indirectly claim to transition from atheism to anti-theism, but both are different positions - And that brings the question, did you become an agnostic or a gnostic atheist?

I'm also an anti-theist but anti-theism comes for different reasons than atheism, and both positions are not mutually exclusive.

Glad to hear the story. I however think we can keep our assertive anti-theism without discriminating or advocating wrong measures (i.e. Legally banning religion).
Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you

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#5
RE: An Uncommon Reintroduction
(January 4, 2015 at 3:51 pm)Blackout Wrote: I'd like to just note that you being an anti-theist is a different position from simply being an atheist

Yes, I am aware of the distinction between atheism and anti-theism.

(January 4, 2015 at 3:51 pm)Blackout Wrote: - You indirectly claim to transition from atheism to anti-theism, but both are different positions - And that brings the question, did you become an agnostic or a gnostic atheist?

I did transition from atheism to anti-theism due to them being different positions, so I am confused by you having added but in there.

As to your question: I was an agnostic in the beginning when I discovered Robert Green Ingersoll. I was even an Agnostic Theist before fully transitioning to atheism and then eventually to anti-theism.
"Never trust a fox. Looks like a dog, behaves like a cat."
~ Erin Hunter
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#6
RE: An Uncommon Reintroduction
I like your last paragraph:
Quote:As a militant anti-theist, I find absolutely no truth or relevance to religion, the bible, or the theistic god I view as purely non-existent. I will not apologize for the way I post in relation to theism and toward theists. Theism is a veritable plague that needs to be brought to the point where it no longer has any relevance in society, because even I know wiping it out completely is an impossibility, and the way I post will continue to reflect my abhorrence for that which is a veritable disease upon humanity. Theism stopped having any relevance when we began to reason. To cling to primitive ideas is unreasonable and merely aids in delusion. There is no good that theism can provide that cannot be found through secularism, and what good theism does profess to possess is never truly good at all.

I wouldn't call myself anti-theist, but it's hard to argue with your reasoning.
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#7
RE: An Uncommon Reintroduction
(January 4, 2015 at 4:35 pm)Sionnach Wrote:
(January 4, 2015 at 3:51 pm)Blackout Wrote: I'd like to just note that you being an anti-theist is a different position from simply being an atheist

Yes, I am aware of the distinction between atheism and anti-theism.

(January 4, 2015 at 3:51 pm)Blackout Wrote: - You indirectly claim to transition from atheism to anti-theism, but both are different positions - And that brings the question, did you become an agnostic or a gnostic atheist?

I did transition from atheism to anti-theism due to them being different positions, so I am confused by you having added but in there.

As to your question: I was an agnostic in the beginning when I discovered Robert Green Ingersoll. I was even an Agnostic Theist before fully transitioning to atheism and then eventually to anti-theism.

Yes but you can be an anti-theist and a theist if you believe god is evil, and so on... What I'm asking is if you're a gnostic or agnostic? For example I'm an anti-theist and a gnostic atheist, you are certainly not only an anti-theist, I'm assuming you are an atheist as well, but I know your anti-theist position probably implies atheism as well, still I like to clear things out.
Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you

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#8
RE: An Uncommon Reintroduction
I think I see what you mean now. My view of god is as nothing more than a fictional character. I view his evilness as a Harry Potter fan would view the evilness of Voldermort. I suppose from your perspective that would make me anti-theist as well as atheist.
"Never trust a fox. Looks like a dog, behaves like a cat."
~ Erin Hunter
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#9
RE: An Uncommon Reintroduction
(January 4, 2015 at 5:35 pm)Sionnach Wrote: I think I see what you mean now. My view of god is as nothing more than a fictional character. I view his evilness as a Harry Potter fan would view the evilness of Voldermort. I suppose from your perspective that would make me anti-theist as well as atheist.

Ok sorry to be picky but do you lack belief in gods or do you know gods don't exist? Tongue

Voldemort is one of my favourite characters from the series, he incarnates pretty well the fear of death humans have that is, in my opinion, the lead cause to believe in gods (that lead to belief in afterlives and heavens) - I'll admit when I stopped fearing my own death, I became an atheist.
Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you

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#10
RE: An Uncommon Reintroduction
(January 4, 2015 at 5:41 pm)Blackout Wrote: Ok sorry to be picky but do you lack belief in gods or do you know gods don't exist? Tongue

I prefer to state I know god does not exist.

When it comes to Santa Clause, the magical being not the holiday concept, I am not going to state I lack belief in Santa Clause just because there is no evidence proving he does not exist. Instead, I am going to rightly, logically, reasonably, state that I know Santa Clause does not exist because there is zero evidence to support his existence.

Just replace Santa Clause with god, and it is the same thing.
"Never trust a fox. Looks like a dog, behaves like a cat."
~ Erin Hunter
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