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Ask a physically disabled guy
#11
RE: Ask a physically disabled guy
How are you planning for the future? I mean your Mom sound's great, but I'm assuming you will outlive her or at the very least live until she is too old to take care of you. Is there a plan B? What would be the best plan B?
If there is a god, I want to believe that there is a god.  If there is not a god, I want to believe that there is no god.
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#12
RE: Ask a physically disabled guy
In my case (spina bifida), some folks do die rather early (30's, 20's), but I've met one guy who was actually 79. So, whoknows what'll happen inmy case.

My mother is one who likes to have everything done and set, whether or not it's by me. If I were to have kids, I'd try to teach them better how to do all that infrastructural stuff. Finances, house shopping, or whatever else.

That having been said, my extended family on her side seems to know my disability well. My uncle is a banker, like his father before him. They ran a local bank chain in MO. So if I have any questions, they are good folks to talk to.
"For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." - Carl Sagan
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#13
RE: Ask a physically disabled guy
(May 22, 2015 at 7:54 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: I have a comparatively minor disability (missing an eye).  Here's the question:

How do  you feel about the term 'differently abled'?

Boru

I'm like c172's friend in that I think the term is bullshit.  I don't have different abilities.  I'm not Daredevil or Professor Xavier.  And, really, the term seems to be for people who are uncomfortable around people like me to create a fantasy in their heads to make themselves feel better.

(May 22, 2015 at 8:35 pm)Jenny A Wrote: How are you planning for the future?  I mean your Mom sound's great, but I'm assuming you will outlive her or at the very least live until she is too old to take care of you.  Is there a plan B?   What would be the best plan B?

Plan B seems to be to get PCAs here once mom can no longer do the job.  Once she passes, I'll likely live with my oldest brother and his wife, with PCA care.  Either that, or my cousin in Cleveland, although that's a much longer shot given the distance and the fact that she's slowly killing herself with her weight.  There's also the possibility that I get my own place at an assisted living facility, but the local one is kinda creepy, so, yeah....

There are options, but nothing set in stone.  The best would be my oldest brother.  Worst would be a nursing home or my other brother.
"I was thirsty for everything, but blood wasn't my style" - Live, "Voodoo Lady"
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#14
RE: Ask a physically disabled guy
First of all fuck you both for making me look up PWD.

Kevin, it gives me a new appreciation for your avatar. Frankly it had been making me uncomfortable during a prolonged urinary issue. Hallelujah I think that is finally handled.

You both seem to have a great perspective over something that could put some people in a one way, downward spiral. I'd like to think I'd do so too but who really knows?

(Are you sure you can't levitate or help people control their minds? Sorry you didn't get an adequately compensatory mutant gene.)

(May 22, 2015 at 7:54 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: I have a comparatively minor disability (missing an eye).  Here's the question:

How do  you feel about the term 'differently abled'?

Boru

You didn't have a run in with an older gentle man by the name of Pai Mei, did you?  He would like your humor.
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#15
RE: Ask a physically disabled guy
My superpower is snark, but don't tell anyone.
"I was thirsty for everything, but blood wasn't my style" - Live, "Voodoo Lady"
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#16
RE: Ask a physically disabled guy
(May 22, 2015 at 8:57 pm)KevinM1 Wrote:
(May 22, 2015 at 7:54 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: I have a comparatively minor disability (missing an eye).  Here's the question:

How do  you feel about the term 'differently abled'?

Boru

I'm like c172's friend in that I think the term is bullshit.  I don't have different abilities.  I'm not Daredevil or Professor Xavier.  And, really, the term seems to be for people who are uncomfortable around people like me to create a fantasy in their heads to make themselves feel better.
...

Actually, it was me, not c172, who mentioned someone regarding it as bullshit.

I think you are right that it is somehow trying to make other people feel better somehow.  Though I am not sure why it would make anyone feel better.  I guess some people are comforted by positive sounding words for things, even when the thing is not positive.  Ultimately, though, all such attempts at making things sound better that way are short-lived, as even if the expression becomes popular, the bad associations will just become attached to the new terminology.  The woman I know who had polio is like other women, except that she cannot walk properly and has some other health problems.  All of that "except" part is bad, no matter what words one chooses to use to describe it.  No one in their right mind would deliberately contract polio.  It is a disadvantage, not an advantage.

"A wise man ... proportions his belief to the evidence."
— David Hume, An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding, Section X, Part I.
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#17
RE: Ask a physically disabled guy
(May 22, 2015 at 9:47 pm)Pyrrho Wrote:
(May 22, 2015 at 8:57 pm)KevinM1 Wrote: I'm like c172's friend in that I think the term is bullshit.  I don't have different abilities.  I'm not Daredevil or Professor Xavier.  And, really, the term seems to be for people who are uncomfortable around people like me to create a fantasy in their heads to make themselves feel better.
...

Actually, it was me, not c172, who mentioned someone regarding it as bullshit.

I think you are right that it is somehow trying to make other people feel better somehow.  Though I am not sure why it would make anyone feel better.  I guess some people are comforted by positive sounding words for things, even when the thing is not positive.  Ultimately, though, all such attempts at making things sound better that way are short-lived, as even if the expression becomes popular, the bad associations will just become attached to the new terminology.  The woman I know who had polio is like other women, except that she cannot walk properly and has some other health problems.  All of that "except" part is bad, no matter what words one chooses to use to describe it.  No one in their right mind would deliberately contract polio.  It is a disadvantage, not an advantage.

Ah, shit, sorry.  I even went back through the thread to get the person right, and still messed it up. Undecided

But, yeah.  There's nothing good about being disabled.  The whole "appreciating life more" sentiment that's been popularized and romanticized is nice and all, but I'd trade whatever perspective I may have gained by being disabled for the ability to take a piss by myself.
"I was thirsty for everything, but blood wasn't my style" - Live, "Voodoo Lady"
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#18
RE: Ask a physically disabled guy
Well...I was born with my disability. I don't understand being able to play soccer for an NCAA scholarship to Louisville or UCLA or somewhere. If I had my disability solved suddenly, I'dlikely not know how tomove, and redisable myself. I will say that getting along with some able bodied folks can be a chore, but I'm sure they feelthe same way toward us. I can't observe me from afar. I can only be me.

By "appreciating life more", I'm guessing you mean "appreciating the little things" or "stopping to smell the roses". Yeah, I really don't care for when I'm at a bus stop waiting for a bus, and some random person gets all philosophical with my disability. Honestly, sometimes a guy on crutches waiting for a bus is just a guy waiting for a bus.

But again, I can't see me; I can only be me.
"For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." - Carl Sagan
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#19
RE: Ask a physically disabled guy
(May 22, 2015 at 4:37 pm)KevinM1 Wrote: I was born with Arthrogryposis Multiplex Congenita.  I've had ~43 or so surgeries, most of them when I was a kid, and most of them osteotomies.

So, ask me shit.  Or don't.  Whatever, it's cool. Big Grin

Haven't you ever met any "Real Christians" TM that could cure you with prayer? I mean just how many demons do you have?
Find the cure for Fundementia!
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#20
RE: Ask a physically disabled guy
(May 22, 2015 at 9:54 pm)KevinM1 Wrote:
(May 22, 2015 at 9:47 pm)Pyrrho Wrote: Actually, it was me, not c172, who mentioned someone regarding it as bullshit.

I think you are right that it is somehow trying to make other people feel better somehow.  Though I am not sure why it would make anyone feel better.  I guess some people are comforted by positive sounding words for things, even when the thing is not positive.  Ultimately, though, all such attempts at making things sound better that way are short-lived, as even if the expression becomes popular, the bad associations will just become attached to the new terminology.  The woman I know who had polio is like other women, except that she cannot walk properly and has some other health problems.  All of that "except" part is bad, no matter what words one chooses to use to describe it.  No one in their right mind would deliberately contract polio.  It is a disadvantage, not an advantage.

Ah, shit, sorry.  I even went back through the thread to get the person right, and still messed it up. Undecided


That's okay, mistakes happen.


(May 22, 2015 at 9:54 pm)KevinM1 Wrote: But, yeah.  There's nothing good about being disabled.  The whole "appreciating life more" sentiment that's been popularized and romanticized is nice and all, but I'd trade whatever perspective I may have gained by being disabled for the ability to take a piss by myself.


That sounds to me mindbogglingly stupid, to say that one appreciates life more because one is disabled.  I know I did not appreciate life more when I had a sprained ankle, and I am pretty sure I would have a more dim view of life if I had a permanent disability.  And given your statement about being happy about 90% of the time, but that the "other 10% can get pretty damn black," that sure does not sound like you appreciate life more.  I think I would be fucking livid if I were disabled and someone told me I appreciated life more because of my disability or some such thing.

The woman I know who had polio has not had a good life.  She has made the best of it, but I am pretty sure she would be happier if she had never contracted polio.  Her disability has prevented her from doing many things that she wanted to do (obviously!).  Certainly, if there were a magic cure for her now, she would be happier than she is at present.

She has preferred the way children react to her, asking her honest questions, than the weird way that some adults have reacted to her.

God, that must be galling.  It would make me want to be able to just whack them up side the head.

"A wise man ... proportions his belief to the evidence."
— David Hume, An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding, Section X, Part I.
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