What To Do?

[c172]

This "mentor" sounds interesting. I wonder what he was doing to mess with you.

[SteelCurtain]

I'm a little late to the party!

Becca, you have a singularly tenacious personality, from what I've seen here. You're gonna be fine. You just have to master a little self talk. Any time those thoughts creep up, make sure you tell yourself to STFU. Because they're bullshit, and you know it.

I could totally see you as an on air personality for KPBS!

"Stay tuned for This American Life here on KPBS, brought to you by Mossy Nissan of El Cajon. Mossy Nissan, drive better for less. I'm Becca, and you're listening to KPBS. Please consider donating..."

[rexbeccarox]

The thing is: my ADHD has been getting worse as I've been getting older, and so has my depression, but I hate being on meds more than anything. I'm a creative type with a need to feel my life, even if the feeling is ironic, utter apathy.

This is an area I know pretty much nothing about, but it might be useful to make sure you're under the care and supervision of a doctor or therapist, because life's normal anxieties can be magnified out of proportion by ADHD and depression.  And that can derail you from time to time and put you on a downward spiral by making things seem worse than they are.  It sucks that you have to deal with that, but keeping it under control can keep your brain from sabotaging your good efforts.

Thanks for the well-wishes.  Keep at it because you know you can do it.  

Thanks darlin'!  I am in the process of looking for a new therapist, but it's a little traumatic in and of itself; my last therapist, whom I adored and was with for 2 1/2 years, announced that she was dying of cancer, and that we would have three more sessions, and then she would be quitting to spend time with her loved ones. She died before we could even get one more session in.  She was only 42, and she was wonderful.

I am glad to see you trying Becca, and please don't get discouraged when you face a few obstacles. By the way I saw what you don't like doing or can't do in the thread, but you didn't say what you wanted to do. Please tell me what interests you most in life.

Thanks, Magi

I've found all of my stuff to apply to local radio stations.  I think I can actually do this!

This "mentor" sounds interesting. I wonder what he was doing to mess with you.

I was on a certain alternative radio station three times for an event they used to hold twice a year.  The first time was with a certain DJ who co-founded the station and who no longer works there, but now works at another local alternative station.  I'm thinking you can probably figure out who I'm talking about, c. He was my "mentor" and, in my excitement to be working with him, I didn't realize the extent to which he was... well, messing with me.  I don't really want to go farther, because I'm afraid he might have some say in whether I get hired at certain stations or not.

I'm a little late to the party!

Becca, you have a singularly tenacious personality, from what I've seen here. You're gonna be fine. You just have to master a little self talk. Any time those thoughts creep up, make sure you tell yourself to STFU. Because they're bullshit, and you know it.

I could totally see you as an on air personality for KPBS!

"Stay tuned for This American Life here on KPBS, brought to you by Mossy Nissan of El Cajon. Mossy Nissan, drive better for less. I'm Becca, and you're listening to KPBS. Please consider donating..."

Oh my gawds, I would love to work at KPBS.  They're not looking for anyone right now, but I'm pushing my shit on them anyway.  Thanks for your awesome words, Steel; tenacious is a good one 

[rexbeccarox]

Congrats on moving on your radio career!

Depression is bad enough with out having to do a major task like a job search.  Big kudos to you for doing that!  Please recognize that is a huge step for you right now and give yourself some love for doing something like that!  Like your name says...you rox!

As far as cash flow goes.  While I was searching for a career, I got a job in a call center.  Yes, you are behind the desk, however, the amount of people that you get to talk to keeps you on your toes and makes it interesting.  The jobs generally pay better than most entry level positions.  Strictly for cash flow, you might try that while you pursue your true passion.

You ROX!

I'm so sorry; I missed replying to you, PB

That's a really good idea with the call center.  I'm definitely going to look into that once I'm done with all of the radio stations.  Thanks for the kind words too, darlin'