Did I do something wrong? I just got called a radical feminist.

[IanHulett]

Well, my response to his offense wasn't all that mature either:

"This conversation is over. Have fun in crazy world!"

FINALLY!!! It's over! I didn't think it was ever going to be finished. Now I can be free to do other things than to argue with people like yourself who argue based on their own emotions instead of reason. Thank the nonexisting god.

I was being inconsiderate considering he said that he must be a "multiple rape victim." That's probably why he was offended because he's under the impression that if he accepts "my" definition of consent, he'd have to admit he's a rape victim... at least in his eyes that's what that means. Of course that's not what I meant, but whatever.

[Regina]

Why is being radical even a bad thing? As long as you're not attacking people for no reason there's nothing wrong with being "radical".

I hate how "radical" has been appropriated into a dirty word (mostly because it's used totally out of context and with false meaning to describe Islamism), same for how people throw around this "I'm not a feminist" thing like being a feminist is so bad. Sure you can debate whether or not men can call themselves "feminist" but men can certainly be pro-women, and that's nothing to be ashamed of.

Anyways you were totally right and he just sounds like an internet nutter.

[IanHulett]

Why is being radical even a bad thing? As long as you're not attacking people for no reason there's nothing wrong with being "radical".

I hate how "radical" has been appropriated into a dirty word (mostly because it's used totally out of context and with false meaning to describe Islamism), same for how people throw around this "I'm not a feminist" thing like being a feminist is so bad. Sure you can debate whether or not men can call themselves "feminist" but men can certainly be pro-women, and that's nothing to be ashamed of.

Well, every time I talk about why I'm not a feminist on EmptyClosets, the conversation never ends well. They assume that because I'm not a feminist that I'm anti woman, even though I always mention that my feminism related views are counted under my humanism. So, I try not to engage in the topic of feminism much. I try to defend the rights of women by not bringing up me not being a feminist. Because all I want to do is discuss women's rights and not have my labels, brought up as an Ad Hominem argument, i.e "Why should I listen to you? You're not a feminist. For all I know, you're probably anti-woman." Or "For all I know, you're probably not serious about your arguments" or some stupid shit like that.

[Pyrrho]

So, I was debating a presumably religious person on YouTube about Corinthians 7:3-5 which says:

"3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."

I tried to show him the problem with that verse, and how it causes conflict in modern day morality regarding sex. I mentioned that this verse implies that if one person wants sex, and the other doesn't, the other has to submit. Which would mean a response like "I don't want to, but I will because I'm obligated." I told him that this isn't a real yes, that it's NOT consent. I also said "fine, whatever" is not really consent... and for some reason, he got extremely offended.

He wrote:

"Giving an "I really don't want to, but I'll do it because I'm supposed to," or "Okay, fine, whatever" type of response is not consent."

You are a fucking lunatic. What you just said is beyond insane. I guess I'm a multiple rape victim.

"That's not an enthusiastic yes. If it's not a serious enthusiastic yes, it's not consent."

I see, you're an insane radfem. You are worse than a religious nutjob. This conversation is over. Have fun in crazy world!

He resorted to slander, and called me a radical feminist. I'm not even a feminist. I don't understand. If it's not a real yes, it's not consent. Is there something I did wrong? Is it how I worded myself? What the fuck?

One can consent to things without enthusiasm.  If my wife wants pizza for dinner and I want Chinese food, one of us is likely to consent to what the other wants.  The consent is real, even if it is not enthusiastic.  So the issue is more nuanced than you have presented it.


Regarding your statement that you are not a feminist:

feminism
noun
[MASS NOUN]
The advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.

http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/defini...ctCode=all

Why do you not advocate for women's rights?  Do you not believe that the sexes are equal?

If you do advocate for women's rights on the basis that you believe the sexes are equal, you are a feminist.

[IanHulett]

Regarding your statement that you are not a feminist:

feminism
noun
[MASS NOUN]
The advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.

http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/defini...ctCode=all

Why do you not advocate for women's rights?  Do you not believe that the sexes are equal?

If you do advocate for women's rights on the basis that you believe the sexes are equal, you are a feminist.

I was afraid this would happen.

I do advocate for women's rights and I do believe the sexes are equal. Why I don't identify as a feminist:

1) People taking the label too far such as trying to push the label on people who don't want to identify with the movement
2) The feminazis who believe anybody with male genitalia is scum, I don't want them claiming to represent me,
3) Anita Sarkeesian, because she cherrypicks the issues regarding women in the media and leaves out the other things regarding men
___One that always pisses people off for some reason, not sure why:
4) I don't see evidence of a patriarchy or oppression of women in the united states. I see evidence of assholes and psychopaths, not a legal or social bias against women
5) Like I said, all my feminism related views are covered under my humanism. I'm not going to identify as both a humanist and a feminist. I want to try and decrease the amount of labels I have. Which is why instead of calling myself an Ignostic Atheist because of my belief that the concept of god is nonsensical, I call myself a theological noncognitivist instead.

I seriously don't understand why people equate me not identifying as a feminist, with me being against women's rights. And when I say I do stand up for women's rights, I'm a feminist. It's ridiculous. It's a pointless battle to fight. Can't we put aside our differences, and join sides in fighting for women's rights worldwide and forget the labels? Last time I checked, there are women in middle eastern countries and third world countries being killed for being raped and not screaming loud enough. We need to get rid of real patriarchies in theocracies like Saudi Arabia where women are forced to wear burkas. That's what's on my priority list right now, not fighting over why I don't identify as a feminist.

[Pyrrho]

---

Regarding your statement that you are not a feminist:


http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/defini...ctCode=all

Why do you not advocate for women's rights?  Do you not believe that the sexes are equal?

If you do advocate for women's rights on the basis that you believe the sexes are equal, you are a feminist.

I was afraid this would happen.

I do advocate for women's rights and I do believe the sexes are equal. Why I don't identify as a feminist:

1) People taking the label too far such as trying to push the label on people who don't want to identify with the movement
2) The feminazis who believe anybody with male genitalia is scum, I don't want them claiming to represent me,
3) Anita Sarkeesian, because she cherrypicks the issues regarding women in the media and leaves out the other things regarding men
___One that always pisses people off for some reason, not sure why:
4) I don't see evidence of a patriarchy or oppression of women in the united states. I see evidence of assholes and psychopaths, not a legal or social bias against women
5) Like I said, all my feminism related views are covered under my humanism. I'm not going to identify as both a humanist and a feminist. I want to try and decrease the amount of labels I have. Which is why instead of calling myself an Ignostic Atheist because of my belief that the concept of god is nonsensical, I call myself a theological noncognitivist instead.

---

I seriously don't understand why people equate me not identifying as a feminist, with me being against women's rights. And when I say I do stand up for women's rights, I'm a feminist.

---

It's ridiculous. It's a pointless battle to fight. Can't we put aside our differences, and join sides in fighting for women's rights worldwide and forget the labels? Last time I checked, there are women in middle eastern countries and third world countries being killed for being raped and not screaming loud enough. We need to get rid of real patriarchies in theocracies like Saudi Arabia where women are forced to wear burkas. That's what's on my priority list right now, not fighting over why I don't identify as a feminist.

---

It has to do with the meaning of the term.  If one says that they believe in God but do not identify as a theist, they are, of course, free to identify themselves as they see fit.  However, the meaning of the term "theist" is someone who believes in God, so the fact that they don't like the label that accurately describes them leads to confusion and difficulty.  And frankly, they are asking for the difficulty themselves, since they insist on inaccurately describing themselves.

[The Valkyrie]

I've been called a "radical feminist" multiple times for simply disagreeing with someone about a man's right to take advantage of a woman in any situation, no matter what she says.

People use attacks to denigrate and attack anyone they disagree with to make that person feel smaller and try to make themselves feel more important.  I've done it myself, unfortunately.

[Regina]

Calling someone names is just a way to shut down conversation tbh

It's how I feel about any conversation where words like "bigot", "Homophobe", "racist" or "ignorant" are used. These are just buzzwords you can throw at someone to shut them up. They actually add nothing of substance to the conversation and give no argument as to why the person is wrong. You can add "radical feminist" to that list too, it bakes the same.

[abaris]

Well, OP, you did something wrong. You posted on Youtube and expected to get a reasonable response.

[IanHulett]

Is it possible he's in denial? Because "I don't want to but I have to" is more like coercion like everybody said here, and he's struggling with that? Maybe he doesn't want to admit he was being coerced? I'm starting to wonder if he's having problems like that, seeing how he said "guess I'm a multiple rape victim". It makes sense to me. If that's the case, then I feel bad for him, and hope he gets help.