Body shaming, and "My Big Fat Fabulous Life"

[Pyrrho]

---

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the story about a woman who is severely overweight who is working to lose weight?  

I mean I don't watch TLC.  Fuck TLC.  19 kids and counting and honey boo boo were fucking stupid.  But it sounds to me like the show is about a mobidly obese woman who is working to lose weight (while not hating herself)

My youngest daughter is underweight (she doesn't weigh 100 lbs soaking wet).  And one of her best friends is underweight, but not by quite as much as she is.  She does some modeling, and a few people told her she needed to lose weight if she wanted more jobs.  For fucks sake that's ridiculous.  People have fucking ridiculous standards for what a woman should look like.  I know that I'm not super model thin, but I'm in pretty fucking good shape.  My BMI is in the fucking normal range, and some people would consider me 'fat' (I fucking dare any of them to fucking tell me that to my fucking face).  

Do some people need to lose weight?  Yeah.  But a lot of people don't, and shaming them isn't the fucking way to get them to lose weight.  And telling people of normal weight they need to lose weight needs to fucking stop.  And telling people who are underweight they need to lose MORE weight really needs to fucking stop.

---

The modeling industry is certainly that way, but I don't think society tells people to be underweight. Certainly most men don't prefer women underweight.

I know I don't.  I also don't like women overweight.  To me, the AMA seems to have the right idea for sex appeal when they give a weight range for good health.  Healthy is sexy.

[CapnAwesome]

---

---

The modeling industry is certainly that way, but I don't think society tells people to be underweight. Certainly most men don't prefer women underweight.

I know I don't.  I also don't like women overweight.  To me, the AMA seems to have the right idea for sex appeal when they give a weight range for good health.  Healthy is sexy.

Exactly. I think most men are pretty much the same, with a few outliers preferring skinny or fat girls. Studies have also shown that women prefer super skinny women far more than men do.

[rexbeccarox]

It's all marketing. "My Super Skinny Fabulous Life" wouldn't sell.

I'm sick of being skinny shamed. I went off on my mom a couple of weeks ago because we were driving down the road, and a super skinny chick was riding her beach cruiser in a bikini top and shorts, and my mom said the whole "give that girl a sandwich". When I told her that's skinny shaming, she said, "I'd never say it to her face!" So, great; not only is it fine to talk behind some stranger's back, but there's no point in you doing it? When I pointed out to her that people say that stuff to me on the regular, she was like, "well, you're not as skinny as she is".

What?? So it's ok to skinny shame a stranger behind her back, and then tu quoque me?

/rant

[BrokenQuill92]

The only problem I have with "Fat shaming" is that it's dishonest. Please stop pretending you care about health, it's blatantly untrue. What you actually mean is you think fat people are gross and ugly. So if you're going to call out people on unhealthiness do it. if you're going to go on about health you have to call out every body. Smokers, alcoholics, bulimics, skinny people who eat poorly, pro-Ana's, blah blah the List goes on. But stop lying and saying you care about health! Because you're just being a dick, because you find fat unattractive.

[Catholic_Lady]

It's all marketing. "My Super Skinny Fabulous Life" wouldn't sell.

I'm sick of being skinny shamed. I went off on my mom a couple of weeks ago because we were driving down the road, and a super skinny chick was riding her beach cruiser in a bikini top and shorts, and my mom said the whole "give that girl a sandwich". When I told her that's skinny shaming, she said, "I'd never say it to her face!"  So, great; not only is it fine to talk behind some stranger's back, but there's no point in you doing it? When I pointed out to her that people say that stuff to me on the regular, she was like, "well, you're not as skinny as she is".

What?? So it's ok to skinny shame a stranger behind her back, and then tu quoque me?

/rant

Oh my gosh, same here! A few of my "friends" would say some really rude things to me in high school about my body. And the stupid part is that it's totally ok because they're saying it to a skinny person. But if they said it to a big person, all hell would break loose. 

I always speak up when people say nasty things about a thin girl.

[Divinity]

The woman apparently has PCOS. No fucking idea what that is though. Apparently it makes you gain weight really easily though. No clue how true that is or not. But she's apparently active. If she loses that 100-150 lbs that she says she plans on losing, it could be inspiring for others to do the same.

And yes, the modeling industry is the cause of a lot of women feeling uncomfortable with their bodies. My daughter struggled with Anorexia in high school. She's still not at a "healthy" weight, but at least she doesn't go days without eating. I feel bad for her friend, because she's a beautiful young lady. Anyone telling her she needs to lose weight needs their fucking eyes checked.

[Foxaèr]

I'm disgusted by the notion of CELEBRATING being obese.

Agreed. Obesity is not healthy. At all. But, of course, we are living in an age where stupid shit is watchable according to the ignorant masses.

[Pyrrho]

The only problem I have with "Fat shaming"  is that it's dishonest.  Please stop pretending you care about health,  it's blatantly untrue.  What you actually mean is you think fat people are gross and ugly. So if you're going to call out people on unhealthiness do it.  if you're going to go on  about health you have to call out every body. Smokers,  alcoholics, bulimics,  skinny people who eat poorly, pro-Ana's, blah blah the  List goes on.  But stop lying and saying you care about health!  Because you're just being a dick, because you find fat unattractive.

You are certainly correct that that is the motive in many cases.  But I think that "fat shaming" is problematic for another reason.  It is rude to make insulting personal comments about people.  I do not tell strangers that they should gain or lose weight, and do not tend to bring up the topic with friends and relatives either.  If they bring up the topic, I might comment, but I mostly have no wish to discuss such things with people.  Excluding people who are delusional, people usually already know if they are at a healthy weight or not (or they can go visit the AMA website or some other reputable site if they want to know what weight would be healthiest for them if they are in doubt).

I also do not typically tell people that they are ugly or pretty.  I would imagine most of them are out in public for some reason other than to hear my opinion on that.  But, if that is what is motivating them, they can ask.  Otherwise, they will likely be waiting a very long time for satisfaction.

[CapnAwesome]

Here is another thing that I don't really get. Is the message that you should be happy about your body regardless of what it is or is it about losing weight? Those are totally contradictory ideas. If you are trying to lose weight you are trying to change your body.

[drfuzzy]

The show is not about "celebrating" obesity.  It shows her path to losing weight.  The show is about NOT accepting that a person is "less than" because they are overweight.

I remember standing in line, waiting at my black belt test, when an obese woman walked by.  I poked my friend and said "Eww . . . can you imagine ever letting yourself get that gross?"  I didn't know her name.  I didn't know anything about her.  I just reveled in the obvious fact that I was BETTER than she was. 

A few years later, life happened.  I won't whine about the details.  I gained quite a lot of weight. And yes, I did it to myself.  Walking is difficult now, but I go a little further every day.  People judge you.  I've had cars follow me on my walks with the people inside loudly making animal and retching noises.  One driver threw a soda at me as they passed.  People literally assume that you are stupid - - you are less than human.  You are disgusting.  

It's not about celebrating fat.  It's about celebrating a human being who has their own path and their own story.  It's about combating judgmental attitudes and stereotyping someone because of their looks.