This doesn't seem like a step in the right direction...

[Edwardo Piet]

@ Spooky I knew there was nothing wrong with it but I spend years of getting addicted and at 27 I am only just recovering from my addiction. Sure privacy is good but as a young teenager developing years of porn addiciton, I wish I'd had less privacy. It was so severe it could even explain some of my mood problems. Sex drive and mood is linked after all. I had chronic addiction for years and had to deal with it by myself. Is it really a coincidence that I am both mentally well now and also my porn addiction has also come to an end?

[Edwardo Piet]

Porn is great. Chronic addiction isn't.

[Spooky]

Porn is great. Chronic addiction isn't.

Indeed.

[bennyboy]

When did kids suddenly get the right to privacy?

I'd say if it's a teenager, they should have their own computer, and be smart enough to avoid detection anyway. If it's not. . . then parents SHOULD watch their kids' activity-- all of it.

[MTL]

I didn't have the internet back in 1988, when I was 13,
but I still managed to sneak out of the house to meet a man in his 30s without my parents knowing about it,
when the only electronic device I had was the wall-mounted family-use rotary phone in the kitchen.

and my parents were notoriously strict.


Imagine what kids can do, now, even with all their electronic devices monitored.

[Edwardo Piet]

Sometimes I think the strictness encourages rebellion. Give your kids freedom but watch they don't let themselves be put into a vulnerable position either. That's what I think. How to get that balance right I can't say because I'm not a parent. But that's what I would want for my children if I had any.

As for 1988... I was born that year :|

[MTL]

Sometimes I think the strictness encourages rebellion. Give your kids freedom but watch they don't let themselves be put into a vulnerable position either. That's what I think. How to get that balance right I can't say because I'm not a parent. But that's what I would want for my children if I had any.

As for 1988... I was born that year :|

Well, strictness is one thing, but repressiveness or callousness is something else.

I have long been of the opinion that being overly repressive can lead to rebellion.

I had low self-esteem and there were issues in our extended family that I perceived and resented
but was too young to articulate,
and the reply to my frustration was just more repression.

It didn't pan out as my parents planned.

[Divinity]

I never stopped (I didn't encourage either, mind you) my kids from watching porn (Well not after they were in high school). It can distort expectations, but only if you let it. Now I get why parents wouldn't want their teens watching it. That should (imo) ultimately be up to them. I wanted my kids to grow up knowing they could feel comfortable coming to me about anything. I think it helped prevent any of them from becoming addicted to it. They're now all healthy happy adults, and most of them are happily married (and the youngest is getting married this month, so that'll be all of them). It wouldn't work for everyone, it did work for me. My kids never felt the need to hide anything from me. I felt it was more important for them to be safe when it came to sex, and for them not to feel shameful of it. Especially since I had kids when I was so young myself. If I hadn't, I imagine I'd have done things differently.

How much privacy you give your kids... that's up to you. I think some people might be mistaking 'too much privacy' with 'not enough involvement'. I'm trying not to make a fucking assumption here. But I think parents need to be involved with their kids. And I was always involved in my kids lives.

But when it comes to LGBT issues, and even Atheism you have parents who aren't going to accept that their child is 'normal'. Teens might not feel comfortable coming out to their parents. They might not want to say "I have an attraction to my gender" because they're afraid of what their parents might say. Or they might not want to tell their religious parents, "I don't believe in god." They want and need support, and sometimes parents won't give that. A lot of parents can be very judgmental, and teens should have someone they can go to and feel safe talking about these things without fear of their parents going apeshit on them.

If you're going to monitor your kids internet (and you should have that right), they should know that they are constantly being monitored, so if they do seek help they can seek it without worrying about outing themselves. LGBT teens are at great risk for homelessness and suicide. Unaccepting parents don't help. Teens need to know if they're going to out themselves.

[Edwardo Piet]

 My kids never felt the need to hide anything from me.  I felt it was more important for them to be safe when it came to sex, and for them not to feel shameful of it.

That's what I needed that I didn't have.

I think some people might be mistaking 'too much privacy' with 'not enough involvement'.

That is said perfectly. My parents didn't have much involvement but I don't blame my mum. My dad had this habit of saying a bit and then going silent on the matter so it just made me curious, go searching on the internet and then hiding it from everyone and feeling shameful for years.

[Aractus]

I never stopped (I didn't encourage either, mind you) my kids from watching porn (Well not after they were in high school).  It can distort expectations, but only if you let it.

In Australia it's a crime to allow a minor to view pornography. Just as it's a crime to shoot yourself up with heroin or supply it to others. It isn't simply up to parents to decide - if they chose to let their children view pornography they can be charged for criminal misconduct.