Facing a dilemma

[vorlon13]

One of my uncles had a great grandson murdered. Due to difficulties with the witness, the state had to plea bargain a very lenient sentence for the killer. First degree murder of a helpless infant should be good for more than a couple of years in prison.

The murder was 20 years ago, it seems anyone that might have cared about the victim has since passed away. I mentioned the case to a couple of my cousins recently and got a blank stare from both of them, they barely remember it.

You're relatively young, about the only advice I could offer is that you're potentially going to live for many decades with this, you might consider as you age your feelings about what happened will continue to evolve, at least attempt to consider that and what might be your outlook about all of this in 25 years and how you might look at your decisions with that much hindsight.


My mom was a character witness for a family friend who killed someone back in the 1950s. My mom has never had any qualms about helping this person close the door on what happened and move on with their life. This all happened before I was even born, BTW. I found some newspaper clippings my mom saved about the case a few years ago. My mom may never had any qualms about what she did . . .


but I do.

[Kingpin]

Holy shit, King. I had you pegged all wrong. Nice work on ending up such a great person.

There's no way I could have advice for you, I can only offer some thoughts. In a perfect world, moving on would mean being able to face him in court without fear. After all, you've moved on, but that's never what happens. Moving on usually takes on a literal meaning where you become stumped with how to handle an issue, so you just move on to the next thing, leaving the matter un-conquered. Maybe this would end up helping you? Maybe this would end up helping a lot of people?

Honestly, I wouldn't have the heart to go through with it. I mean, the actual organ. Courts, lawyers, emotions; I'd probably drop dead before it was over, or it would take a huge toll. I don't know if these are reasons that weigh on you, but I get not wanting to go through with it.

Yeah I've been through a lot and have come out better and stronger because of it. I'm really giving you guys the condensed version but it's enough to get the idea. Won't lie. I'm terrified. Even after all these years there are wounds that still haven't healed. Maybe going through with this is what it will take for them to turn to scars

[Pyrrho]

Testify.

Otherwise, you will likely feel bad later on.  It is not just how you feel now, but how you will feel in the future that you should think about.

And also, I am sorry that anyone has to deal with anything like what you have to deal with.  And if someone has to deal with this, it should not be you.

Think about what you believe is the right thing to do.  I think you should testify, and tell the truth.  It will hurt, and I am sorry for that.  But it will also hurt in the future if you now do what you later on will regret.

[Athene]

It absolutely sucks having to make decisions like this. Whatever you decide, you've got my respect for being a great person.

You know what would be great in situations like this? Knowing folks in low places. I used to go to a mechanic who was also loan shark and he would do things  to people for a fairly modest amount of money. Incidentally, he's in prison now.
Oh, well. Sigh. 

[Thumpalumpacus]

My heart goes out to you, KP.

I personally think you have a duty to testify, a duty both to your mother and to society. I understand (albeit dimly, impersonally) how this could provoke so much horror in you, but if the alternative is that justice is not done, I'd say gird your loins and speak the truth.

As I told my son often throughout his childhood, you cannot defeat your fears unless you confront them. You're a good man and your life's story demonstrates the tremendous strength you have. I have no doubt that it will serve you in good stead through this ordeal as well.

Have peace, brotha.

[Losty]

I'm really sorry that you're going through this. I don't have any advice but I will dedicate a post to you in the love and hugs thread.

http://atheistforums.org/thread-28878-po...pid1058436

[ignoramus]

King, do you envisage any repercussions for your copper uncle who may have had a hand in cleaning up the case nice and quick.?

[Faith No More]

Good luck with that, kingpin.

You earned a full scholarship after dealing with all this, so I don't think talking about it should be much of a problem.

[Kingpin]

King, do you envisage any repercussions for your copper uncle who may have had a hand in cleaning up the case nice and quick.?

From what I have been told internal affairs is looking into possible charges for officers involved. One his brother should not have been involved in the case but he was. I don't know where this will all go, but like others have pointed I do think I have a duty to see it through despite the anguish and toll it may take. Yes I moved on and have become so much stronger in my life but it still hurts at times to discuss it even with my wife who knows the full story and has been there for some of hard times. It still hurts even discussing it here on some level. But that tells me I have wounds that need to heal. This may be the way for that to happen. You guys are right I really need to do this. Scares the hell out of me, but I owe it to myself and others.

[Kingpin]

Good luck with that, kingpin.

You earned a full scholarship after dealing with all this, so I don't think talking about it should be much of a problem.

Articulating it is one thing. Doing it to and about the monster in your life is another