Porn and Christians

[Iroscato]

Well, fair play for answering King

I suppose there is a bit of a stereotype of Christians being prudish about sex and all the heebie-jeebies it doth entail, guess I'm guilty of buying into that a little. But still, consciousness raised, perspective shifted, 'twas a good day

[Jenny A]

Ok so during our Skype group call tonight, porn was brought up.  I was one of two Christians on the call and during the discussion I noticed a few comments about a certain stereotype regarding how people see Christians and sex.

Let me just start by saying that I in no way judge anyone viewing porn.  Whatever you want to do/enjoy is none of my business, but I wanted to just give at least my personal perspective on porn and sex as a Christian.  I didn't start this to admonish anyone.  

I'm sure you don't mean to admonish.  But every anti porn campaign I've ever seen was started by a Christian, Muslim, or feminist.  Politics make strange bedfellows (pun intended.)

I have 5 kids.  Obviously I'm no stranger to sex.  

Well we know know you've had it at least five times. . .  

Sex is awesome.  I'm also not a prude and not ashamed to talk about sex with my spouse, we have discussions quite regularly about it in fact.  I think a lot of people feel Christians think sex is dirty, gross, something to be ashamed of, etc.  Not at all.  To me sex carries much more than satisfying physical desires or biological impulses.  Sex is deep and emotional.  Can it be purely physical?  Absolutely.  But I think there is an intense emotional aspect to it.  

It is great ain't it?  And yes there is an emotional aspect to it, especially if it's really good sex.

Someone brought up one night stands are cool, so long as there is enough alcohol to forget about it.  That right there tells me there is an emotional component to it as well.  Feeling a sense of guilt for wanting to only satisfy a baser urge.  Sex as an experience can be enjoyed at incredible levels when you have a strong emotional relationship with your partner.  

I've never had sex with anyone I wasn't in love with.  So you can imagine my one night stand count is about zero.  The idea that anyone would do anything that they needed alcohol to forget strikes me as a bad idea.

Porn to me is just not appealing.  Watching other people do it does not get me in the mood.  Sex is about being personal and intimate with one person and one person that you care deeply about.  A person that knows the real you.  That you can be who you are around, who lifts you up, cares for you, will do anything for you.  I may be a hopeless romantic and extremely sappy, but sex is about love.  Like I said I know it can be enjoyed from a physical aspect, but there is more to it than that, at least for me.  So while porn can certainly provide a fulfillment for the base urges, I think it falls desperately short on the overall experience.  

I guess my perspective is different.  I do enjoy a number of things that might be called porn, but they also have great emotional resonance.  Anne Rice springs to mind, but my mind tends to go BDSM.  And BDSM requires a great deal of communication and trust both.

Everyone has their own opinions on it and I'm sure you all know me by now that I have no problem with that, but I wanted to start this thread and give my personal Christian perspective on the topic.

My question is this.  Is this your perspective because you are a Christian, or is it more innate?

[Catholic_Lady]

Btw, and contrary to popular belief, I am definitely not a prude lol. Being Christian and not liking porn, doesn't make someone a prude. Sorry for getting personal, but just to drive the point home, my husband and I sext, send each other naked pictures, make "videos" together, use "play things", have sexy talk, use lingerie (just me), and pretty much anything else any healthy, happy couple does.

...All after we were married of course.  

[Pyrrho]

Here I thought this thread was going to be about the fact that conservative, religious types view more porn than average.  See:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the...ornography

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/20...-side.html

http://www.salon.com/2014/10/19/why_red_...s_partner/

And you can search for more on this sort of thing.

Forgive me, I don't see the relevance to the thread.

Look at the title of this thread.  That made me think of what I posted.  The title of this thread fits my post better than the opening post.  So I was surprised to read the opening post, because I first read the title which does not go with the opening post very well.

The opening post isn't about Porn and Christians, it is about Porn and lkingpinl.

[Regina]

I've had sex with it being "just physical" before without getting attached, so yeah I do think it can be totally physical. I don't even need to be drunk enough for it. To me, sex is just sex, it's fun but it's not a massive deal as a casual thing.

Porn is fun, I just don't take it too seriously. It's only problematic when people see it as an accurate representation of real sex, which it rarely (if ever) is.

[Catholic_Lady]

What's your Christian perspective on

Anal
Felching
Oral
Fisting
Threesomes/foursomes

my good man?

How people find personal physical pleasure is not my concern.  But if you want my personal perspective:

Anal - not appealing to me at all.  That hole has one purpose in my opinion.
Felching - I had to look this up.  Again not appealing in the slightest.  
Oral - nothing wrong with it.  
Fisting - Um, that just sounds painful
Three or more - Not appealing.  I don't share.

LOL, these would pretty much be my responses to a tea. Right down to having to look up the meaning of felching.

[Thumpalumpacus]

I don't care for porn myself, but i don't think it's inherently bad. It can have both positive and negative effects, enhancing the sex life of a couple, or causing a single man to avoid intimacy.

My attitudes towards sex itself are pretty libertine. I will try almost anything with my woman ... and have.

[Kingpin]

Good points Jenny and yes Christians typically are the ones that raise the issue with porn and as Pyrrho pointed out they actually tend to be the largest perpetrators. I don't agree with Christianity painting sex as bad. Many of them do. Sex is NOT bad in and of itself and when young teens are made to be very self conscious and feel ashamed when they have base biological urges, that creates very confused people. Losty's post summarizes this.

I don't think my Christianity has anything to do it Jenny. I felt this way before I became a Christian at 18.

[Jenny A]

Btw, and contrary to popular belief, I am definitely not a prude lol. Being Christian and not liking porn, doesn't make someone a prude. Sorry for getting personal, but just to drive the point home, my husband and I sext, send each other naked pictures, make "videos" together, use "play things", have sexy talk, use lingerie (just me), and pretty much anything else any healthy, happy couple does.

...All after we were married of course.  

No one who starts a poop thread could be called a prude.

[Jenny A]

Good points Jenny and yes Christians typically are the ones that raise the issue with porn and as Pyrrho pointed out they actually tend to be the largest perpetrators.  I don't agree with Christianity painting sex as bad.  Many of them do.  Sex is NOT bad in and of itself and when young teens are made to be very self conscious and feel ashamed when they have base biological urges, that creates very confused people.  Losty's post summarizes this.

I don't think my Christianity has anything to do it Jenny.  I felt this way before I became a Christian at 18.

That's pretty much what I guessed about you.

My suspicion is that the reason Christians tend to use more porn than others is that some brands of Christianity put so many kinds of sex off limits, that porn becomes the only outlet.   And I do mean some brands.  Not all forms of Christianity are inherently anti-sex.