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Butt Wiping Techniques
November 21, 2015 at 1:27 pm
(This post was last modified: November 21, 2015 at 1:27 pm by Catholic_Lady.)
Now that we have broken the taboo of #2 here in AF, it is time we address this very important issue.
After you poop, how do you wipe? Please vote up top.
Also, not included in the poll is this:
When you wipe, do you look at the toilet paper to see if there's any poop on it, and then keep wiping until the toilet paper comes off your butt clean? Or do you just go with your gut without looking and hope all the poop residue is off your butt?
Please vote up top, and then answer this question about the poop residue.
"Of course, everyone will claim they respect someone who tries to speak the truth, but in reality, this is a rare quality. Most respect those who speak truths they agree with, and their respect for the speaking only extends as far as their realm of personal agreement. It is less common, almost to the point of becoming a saintly virtue, that someone truly respects and loves the truth seeker, even when their conclusions differ wildly."
-walsh
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RE: Butt Wiping Techniques
November 21, 2015 at 1:31 pm
It won't let me edit poll options. The second option, the "of" is supposed to be a "to." My bad.
"Of course, everyone will claim they respect someone who tries to speak the truth, but in reality, this is a rare quality. Most respect those who speak truths they agree with, and their respect for the speaking only extends as far as their realm of personal agreement. It is less common, almost to the point of becoming a saintly virtue, that someone truly respects and loves the truth seeker, even when their conclusions differ wildly."
-walsh
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RE: Butt Wiping Techniques
November 21, 2015 at 1:37 pm
Generally, I origami a swan out of the TP if time permits. All the folds give you a scooping action. If I run out of toilet paper, I keep a bag of Frito Scoops under the sink, just in case.
I can't remember where this verse is from, I think it got removed from canon:
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For context, this is the previous verse:
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RE: Butt Wiping Techniques
November 21, 2015 at 1:48 pm
I read an article last week that has me desperately wanting to try out a Toto Washlet style commode.
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RE: Butt Wiping Techniques
November 21, 2015 at 1:55 pm
(November 21, 2015 at 1:37 pm)Exian Wrote: Generally, I origami a swan out of the TP if time permits. All the folds give you a scooping action. If I run out of toilet paper, I keep a bag of Frito Scoops under the sink, just in case.
I'll have to try that next time.
"Of course, everyone will claim they respect someone who tries to speak the truth, but in reality, this is a rare quality. Most respect those who speak truths they agree with, and their respect for the speaking only extends as far as their realm of personal agreement. It is less common, almost to the point of becoming a saintly virtue, that someone truly respects and loves the truth seeker, even when their conclusions differ wildly."
-walsh
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RE: Butt Wiping Techniques
November 21, 2015 at 2:11 pm
I'm too lazy to get up.
BTW, Jim Jefferies has a bit on this.
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RE: Butt Wiping Techniques
November 21, 2015 at 2:17 pm
How the hell do you wipe while still sitting down?
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RE: Butt Wiping Techniques
November 21, 2015 at 2:21 pm
.
I'm surprised we are not being quizzed on wiping from the side or from the front.
Also, does anyone sit facing the wall, using the tank lid as a handy little table ??
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RE: Butt Wiping Techniques
November 21, 2015 at 2:27 pm
^ Haha Butters.
I use a three step process. No look/check is necessary. Sitting down. I cannot imagine a world in which people stand up to wipe their butts.
Step 1) About 5-10 sheets of TP, balled up, to do the heavy duty work.
Step 2) Baby wipe. <--- This is the most important step.
Step 3) 2-3 sheets of TP to pat the bootyhole dry.
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RE: Butt Wiping Techniques
November 21, 2015 at 2:28 pm
(This post was last modified: November 21, 2015 at 2:31 pm by Catholic_Lady.)
(November 21, 2015 at 2:17 pm)Thumpalumpacus Wrote: How the hell do you wipe while still sitting down?
I answered that I wipe at first while sitting, and then get up and wipe some more to finish off the job. I don't know how people just wipe sitting, either. The back part of the toilet seat is right there and doesn't give much space for you to get your whole hand down there very well.
"Of course, everyone will claim they respect someone who tries to speak the truth, but in reality, this is a rare quality. Most respect those who speak truths they agree with, and their respect for the speaking only extends as far as their realm of personal agreement. It is less common, almost to the point of becoming a saintly virtue, that someone truly respects and loves the truth seeker, even when their conclusions differ wildly."
-walsh
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