Deconversion by fire

[LastPoet]

Well, for starters, till the age of 10 I was forced into catholic sunday school, always under the premise that I couldn´t live a fully life without all the sacraments of church( Baptism, 1st communion, etc, bah), but when I did the first communion, i started noticing that people around weren't really folowing what was preached (some, as soon as they got out of church whould go to the cofee shops, just to sit and diss, curse, badmouth other people), I even tried to comment aspects of the session in church, comment about the teachings, only to ear the usual "Thats what he said (the priest)?, well thats what god commands!".

But then, my best pal, my cousin got cancer, somewhere on the brain, he was my age and a more avid folower than I was, so, during a whole year, I prayed that he whould get well even trying the "take me Lord, Instead of him" line. So, after a year of gruelsome suffering he perished, deformed, paralized, defeated by cancer and the agressive threatements. How could it be? How could god take him and like that? It is impossible to hold such a dissonance! Guilt ensued:"Mabe I didn't prayed enough, Mabe I've been so wicked gos is punishing me by taking my best friend."

Anyways, I started joining the wrong crowd and gone berserk on all substances that could ease the loss, of my best friend, and the loss of god, developing into an addiction that could really and litterary take all the pain away: heroin. Long story short, go see "Trainspotting" for a somewhat similar story(well, I didn't ended up with a suitcase full of money like Rents did) but I managed to shake the addiction off me the hard way. Dont ask me how it was, because it all feels hazy now 10 years away, but somewhere in all the rottiness of that life I came to realze there is no god, if we are going to help ourselves, it will be our strenght, not any external one, and it was irrational to pursue that addiction. Hell, I've even felt like god one of the times I've done an LSD trip. I got rid of it all drugs: heroin, LSD, coke, god.

So there you have it, a nice horror story you can freely use to scare the shit out of your kids haha. Fortunately I recovered good (I was a rational Junkie) except for a few thousand neurons. My only crime: Genocide of my own neurons.

As a side note: when I was addicted, when I though in getting out I was rushed by the feeling "I cant imagine life without heroin" and I ear alot from Theists "I cant Imagine life without God". I'm pushed to throw an analogy between religion and addiction.

[Minimalist]

I'm sure one of our resident denizens of the realm of fantasy will eventually tell you that you are wrong to blame god. Ignore them. They are still hooked.

Welcome.

[Caecilian]

(19th June 2010 20:58)LastPoet Wrote:  So there you have it, a nice horror story you can freely use to scare the shit out of your kids haha. Fortunately I recovered good (I was a rational Junkie) except for a few thousand neurons. My only crime: Genocide of my own neurons.

As a side note: when I was addicted, when I though in getting out I was rushed by the feeling "I cant imagine life without heroin" and I ear alot from Theists "I cant Imagine life without God". I'm pushed to throw an analogy between religion and addiction.

Yeah, I agree with you. Unlike you, I've never been religious; like you I've done plenty of drugs (but not for twenty-odd years), including a period of coke addiction. And I think that theres a real similarity between drug addiction and religion.

In both cases, the individual addict/ theist is giving up their autonomy, and creating a false simplified reality for themselves.

The addict's life becomes centred on the drug- all of your friends are druggies, and when you see them you take drugs, make plans for getting drugs, talk about drug experiences etc; to a large degree drugs replace real people and drug-taking replaces human relationships.

The fervent religionist's life becomes centred around god; their relationship with god becomes more important than their human relationships; they cut themselves off from non-believers, and interact exclusively with their fellow god addicts, talking about god, praying to god etc. I've not experienced it myself, but I sure have seen it happen.

I don't know about you, but when I hear some born-again weirdo saying that JESUS saved him from the horrors of drug abuse, and that he is WASHED BY THE BLOOD OF THE LAMB and BORN AGAIN, I generally think 'you fucked up, pal- you should've stuck with the pharmaceuticals'.

Ime drugs can send you crazy, but usually don't. At my worst, I was edgy and slightly paranoid, but still rational. Religion is crazy, and religionists are irrational and deluded. And personally, I'd rather waste a great deal of money on something that exists, and end up with some damage to my nasal tissues, than be irrational and deluded.

[Paul the Human]

I've often considered religion to be akin to addiction. Or... an addiction in it's own right, actually. I am sorry to hear that such a terrible thing happened to you. I am also sorry to hear that such an event was the catalyst that led to your atheism. At least you now know that there is no reason to waste your time being pissed off at god. Knowing that makes it much easier to accept what comes in life and gives us the power to change things.

[Samson]

If you can label it anything, I would say a "Habit"...Like a child sucking their thumb or needing that teddy bear at night before bed.

The anchor, The ole' ball and chain,