(February 26, 2016 at 3:59 pm)ignoramus Wrote: FoR. This is why we need to take all written sacred texts with a sack of salt.
Derek is writing about something hundreds of years after the fact based on the gossip of his great grand uncle Harry (from his mothers side). This is contradicted by Kevin 7:11:24/7 who also mentions "shit everywhere". This is not to be taken literally. He referred to the messiness of the ark as there were no cleaners on board!
Controversy still rages over this though, as some noted historians believe the confusion lies in Jacko's translation from the original ancient Kazakhstan dialect.
Persecute! Kill the Heretic!
For doth it not say, in the Book of Derek, (Bollox 13:29-31)
"For if anywhosoever doth question the tripe you are spouting, thou shalt dress in women's clothing, and wave a burning bush, and chant gnomically, and perform some bizarre and wholly disproportionate punishment upon him".
Oh hang on, that revelation hath not been divulged to me yet. But I'm sure it will be at some convenient juncture.
(February 26, 2016 at 5:14 pm)KUSA Wrote: (February 7, 2016 at 2:03 pm)FebruaryOfReason Wrote: Simply private message me with undressed full-length photo for details.)
Can I send you a picture of a flaccid penis and wrinkled testicles?
No thank you. I've already got one.
Brothers and Sisters of the House of Derek!
I have been to the mountain top! Further words of wisdom hath been vouchsafed to me!
You would think it would be more convenient for Derek to simply talk out loud in verifiable circumstances and in front of witnesses, in a place where people already are, like a town or something.
But that is why I am his prophet and you are not!
Chapter 4:
1. Thou shalt not be an arsehole to thy fellow peoples.
2. Thou shalt not kill
3. Thou shalt not rape
4. Thou shalt not steal
5. Thou shalt not beat anybody up
6. Thou shalt not suspend any of these laws temporarily when it suits you, for example to murder those whose are not of the House of Derek. I said thou shalt not kill. This leaves no wriggle room. Do you understand?
7. Women of the House of Derek shall give themselves joyfully to the one known as FebruaryofReason, for he is my prophet.
8. Men of the House of Derek shall give their money freely to the one known as FebruaryofReason, for his profit.
9. It’s fine to desire your neighbour’s ass. Just don’t pinch it.
I must not be nasty. I must not be nasty. I must not be nasty. I must not be nasty. I must not be nasty. I must not be nasty. I must not be nasty. I must not be nasty.
