Three Questions for God

[KevinM1]

1. Why do you make people have a different set of sexual urges than the norm, and then punish them for acting according to their nature?
2. What's the point of making disabled people?
3. Why are so many of your most devout followers mouth-breathing yokels who don't know their own asses from a hole in the ground?

[Crossless2.0]

1. Why do you make people have a different set of sexual urges than the norm, and then punish them for acting according to their nature?
2. What's the point of making disabled people?
3. Why are so many of your most devout followers mouth-breathing yokels who don't know their own asses from a hole in the ground?

1. Human sin
2. Human sin
3. Human piety

[Neo-Scholastic]

Just two questions:

1. How can love You more?
2. How can I best serve others?

[Cecelia]

1. How can I become God?

2. How can I defeat you?

3. If you can't answer the first two questions (without saying you can't), you aren't really omniscient are you?

[Time Traveler]

Just two questions:

1. How can love You more?
2. How can I best serve others?

God's reply...
1. Too clingy, bordering on obsessive and creepy. Even a jealous, wrathful deity infatuated with being worshipped occasionally needs his own space. (Reference: See the Tim Tebow / Jesus skit from Saturday Night Live.)
2. Remember the soup spoon always goes on the right.

[Athene]

1. How can love You more?

1. If you really loved me, you'd show me.
    In other words...Put out.
                                             --God

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

1. Who do my shoes never fit quite right?

2. Should I get this thing lanced, or try medication first?

3. George Burns, Morgan Freeman, Alanis Morrisette - who's closest?

Boru

[Wyrd of Gawd]

Just two questions:

1. How can love You more?
2. How can I best serve others?

1. How can love You more?  = Become a hooker.

2. How can I best serve others? = Get them some cold beer.

[robvalue]

The thing is, even if "Yahweh" is real, I would expect almost no correlation with the steaming pile of horse shit that is the bible. At the very least, the contradictory characteristics would have to be resolved if it was a real thing, I would expect.

So really, I wouldn't have any preconceptions about this being. I'd be learning about it from scratch.

So I wonder, what would identify this God as Yahweh, in any real sense? Seeing as every Christian carries around a different version in their head, often wildly different, how can it "be" all those things? We would already be assuming that huge numbers of people are wrong about fundamental aspects. He sent his "son" to be sacrificed, which is also him, so he could forgive people via a loophole!? Would that be a necessary component? Extremely unlikely, as we know the story got fabricated over time, and Jesus wasn't originally God, for one thing.

Whatever turned up, if suitably powerful looking, religious people would probably all point at it and say "I meant that!" Never mind that it would bear almost no resemblance to the very human characters they describe (differently) in their fairy tales.

This is why I generally take the ignostic position. Even for a specific God claim, such as Yahweh, "does he exist" is not a well formed question that has an objective answer. You'd need to hammer out exactly what does and doesn't count as Yahweh. And whose version do we use? Let alone just "does God exist". The question is next to meaningless. This isn't a pop at the idea of this thread though, it's side ramblings

[Foxaèr]

The only real question for god is, Why do I make a better god than you?