When you know something but can't justify it to yourself.

[Edwardo Piet]

I suck at this so bad. Sometimes I just intuitively know something is right or wrong but my brain is like "nope".

It's like unless I can justify why something is right, wrong, true, untrue or even rude or polite my brain won't listen.

Maybe "know" is the wrong word, knowledge DOES require justification by definition, really.

But the same applies to just being confident about something to me. I can have a motive to say something and then get a feeling "Nope don't say that that's rude and a bad idea" and my rational part of my brain will say "How exactly?" And my intuitive side will say "It just is. I just know." And my rational side will say "You clearly don't know it. You "Just know" isn't good enough. You're talking like a theist. Until you explain why it is rude I am gonna keep saying it."

And then anytime I say rude stuff my intuitive side is like "I knew it! I knew I shouldn't have said it!" Rational side is like "You didn't know it at all you just got lucky." Intuitive side is like"What, I got lucky 10,000 times in a row." And my rational side is like "Confirmation bias. You're  counting the hits and ignoring the misses. There are plenty of times you feel something is rude but then when you and I, Alasdair, say it it turned out to be fine." Intuitive self is like "I feel like you're not just searching for rational reasons I feel like you are making excuses, rationalizations and are in fact no more rational than I am", rational self is like "I don't care how you feel, your feelings are not rational and why should I listen to them." Intuitive self is like "I just know you are wrong and it isn't as simple as you make it. You are making excuses and rationalizations. It's not reasonable to have to justify everything." Rational self is like "How isn't it?" And intuitive self is like "It just isn't." Rational self is like "Justify that."

Please help with the cognitive dissonance in my brain

Already been talking to Losty about this just now and she is free to share anything we have already discussed about it if she wants to.

[Losty]

The first step is admitting you spend way too much time talking to yourself

[Edwardo Piet]

I totally admit that!

Haha it doesn't represent itself like this in my brain. I just dunno how else to explain my internal struggle

[Losty]

I was just being silly.

Ok for the rude one, this is easy.

The justification is that if you naturally feel that it's rude, even though you can't explain why, it's likely that other people do as well. The increased risk of hurting someone's feelings is reason enough not to say it. Because not saying something potentially rude is of no inconvenience to you.

[Edwardo Piet]

I feel like I only feel something is rude because I feel that I have reason to believe that others find it rude.

I think maybe intuition is basically going along with the crowd, which with politeness is actually reasonable. Manners are defined by the majority.

[Edwardo Piet]

Thing is if I can justify why I don't need a justification then I do in fact have a justification.

[Losty]

At some point it becomes too philosophical for my litta kitten brain to follow

[vorlon13]

I diagnose a severe case of reptiliosis.

[Edwardo Piet]

Good. I think philosophy has been and still is bad for me.

I wonder sometimes if it is a coincidence that my mental health improved greatly when I took a two year break from philosophy... And maybe it's a bad thing that I am starting to show interest in it again.

I am sure it isn't bad for everyone. But I am also sure that it is bad for me. But I can't explain why or that it isn't just a coincidence so my brain distrusts that sureness and keeps reading philosophy

I think the only way out is "Fuck it. Fuck this. I don't have to explain everything. Even if I am slightly less rational for not justify everything this intensely perfectionistic rationality at least isn't reasonable or rational in a practical sense. FUCK OFF MR. NEEDS A REASON FOR EVERYTHING GET OUT OF MY TURTLEY BRAIN!"

Fuck it! (Shall I fuck it?) Shall I just give it a shot and try to see what happens if I allow my intuition access? I normally repress my intuition because I feel that it is wishy-washy irrational bullshit and reminds me of a theist or "faith". I always feel like if intuition cannot even know when it itself is existent in my brain then how can I trust it if it might not even be present.

BUT FUCK IT I am gonna try and be intuitive. Whatever that is. I cant even explain to myself or know whether I am succeeding in being intuitive or not.

Okay... Right... What I will do is trust that I know something FIRST, try to justify it AFTERWARDS but when I fail to justify it I won't lose my belief that I am right because I should trust my intuition.

[Losty]

Use your own judgement to decide when something does/doesn't need justification.

Personally, I hate philosophy most of the time. On rare occasions, especially when drunk, it's fun. But I find it exhausting and pointless for the most part.