Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: March 28, 2024, 5:53 pm

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
She's real. Behold, I'm Emma's prophet!
#1
She's real. Behold, I'm Emma's prophet!
I'm humbled (ahem, cough, narcissistically proud) to say that I am the chosen one. Emma has granted me the blessing (cough, privilege) of seeing the irrefutable evidence of her realness. She has given me the unction through my bro, Rob, who is also one in her, but also one in his own. I am (high brow)... Emma's prophet. 

I have seen the evidence. Enough evidence. I can't tell you what it is, because you're not chosen, and you wouldn't understand. It's my own personal experience. You must believe me, though. If you don't, you're missing out. If you do, you don't risk anything. Have faith. She's beautiful! She's also kind and warm. Witty. Generous. She's Rob's wife. 

As the chosen one, I'm here to serve the rest of you commoners in humility. In other words, you must pay me and look up to me for being superior, chosen, and tell you all about her beauty. 

Humbled, thankful, and ever so blessed,
Your servant in Emma and Rob,
Holy Reverend (meaning you must revere me) Pope and Mother Superior (meaning I'm better) Ivy.
"Hipster is what happens when young hot people do what old ladies do." -Exian
Reply
#2
RE: She's real. Behold, I'm Emma's prophet!
Pffft! If she's real, show me the holes in her hands that I may stick my fingers in them.

That's from the bible I think.
How will we know, when the morning comes, we are still human? - 2D

Don't worry, my friend.  If this be the end, then so shall it be.
Reply
#3
RE: She's real. Behold, I'm Emma's prophet!
(June 24, 2016 at 9:10 pm)TheRealJoeFish Wrote: Pffft! If she's real, show me the holes in her hands that I may stick my fingers in them.

That's from the bible I think.

She prefers not to be crucified. She's smart like that. Made the decision herself.
"Hipster is what happens when young hot people do what old ladies do." -Exian
Reply
#4
RE: She's real. Behold, I'm Emma's prophet!
I've seen her, too.

(He posted a picture of her somewhere in "Member's Photos" thread)
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell
Reply
#5
RE: She's real. Behold, I'm Emma's prophet!
(June 24, 2016 at 9:32 pm)Faith No More Wrote: I've seen her, too.

(He posted a picture of her somewhere in "Member's Photos" thread)

That could have been anyone posing for a picture. My experience is unique. Obviously, because I'm special. I mean humble. I'm humble.
"Hipster is what happens when young hot people do what old ladies do." -Exian
Reply
#6
RE: She's real. Behold, I'm Emma's prophet!
Quote: I'm here to serve the rest of you commoners in humility.

Bring me a beer.
Reply
#7
RE: She's real. Behold, I'm Emma's prophet!
(June 24, 2016 at 9:43 pm)Minimalist Wrote:
Quote: I'm here to serve the rest of you commoners in humility.

Bring me a beer.

You missed the next sentence.  Cool
"Hipster is what happens when young hot people do what old ladies do." -Exian
Reply
#8
RE: She's real. Behold, I'm Emma's prophet!
Emma, Schemma, Foe Femma, banana, fana ...................
I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem.
Reply
#9
RE: She's real. Behold, I'm Emma's prophet!
You may serve me.



A sandwich. It's what Emma would want.
Reply
#10
RE: She's real. Behold, I'm Emma's prophet!
(June 24, 2016 at 10:29 pm)Spirian Wrote: You may serve me.



A sandwich. It's what Emma would want.

No. Emma has not whispered that into my head in my own voice.
"Hipster is what happens when young hot people do what old ladies do." -Exian
Reply



Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Last night my 10-year old daughter said that she did not believe in God. Jehanne 22 2037 December 26, 2021 at 5:37 pm
Last Post: The Grand Nudger
  She's a Killer. onlinebiker 60 3283 January 4, 2021 at 2:32 pm
Last Post: arewethereyet
  She came back for your cable...... Brian37 11 1256 August 16, 2018 at 3:46 pm
Last Post: Brian37
  Unless she changed her username... Foxaèr 7 899 March 1, 2018 at 11:54 am
Last Post: Losty
  Just because She's Topless chimp3 162 16967 January 8, 2018 at 10:24 pm
Last Post: Haipule
  Guys, is she a bit funny in the head? ignoramus 12 2080 December 24, 2017 at 6:51 am
Last Post: GUBU
  Thread Title Mashup: She Keeps Sucking Something Shitty From The Poster Below Me Whateverist 277 21864 December 1, 2017 at 8:16 pm
Last Post: Brian37
  Question to all Americans: why do you refer to vehicles and ships as "she"? rado84 38 5661 July 15, 2015 at 12:15 pm
Last Post: Cyberman
  She Keeps Sucking The Life Out of Me JesusChristLover 298 36439 January 22, 2015 at 6:28 am
Last Post: Tonus
  She said yes. :D (For real this time) Tiberius 71 13925 December 19, 2013 at 6:19 pm
Last Post: Lemonvariable72



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)