Substance Abuse Recovery Thread

[Thumpalumpacus]

Hi y'all. I'm opening this thread because it seems to be a useful idea. I've talked with a couple of members recently concerning sobriety and recovery, and I am myself an alcoholic in his first year of recovery. It seems to me that having a thread where we can organize a clearinghouse for secular recovery resources, and hopefully form a virtual group of sorts where we can share experiences and lend each other support would be a good thing. I'm hoping that we can address all sorts of addictions, not just alcohol, and invite anyone with any substance abuse issues or experiences to contribute. I'd like to make clear, as well, that any theist members are welcome here as well.

Now, I know that once a thread is released into the wild, it takes on a life of its own, but I'm just going to ask that folks posting here refrain from flaming and stuff like that; the idea is to provide a spot for the exchange of ideas (be they support or critique) without the heated exchanges that can often accompany discussions about sensitive topics. And I'd ask that religious discussion be left for the many other threads on the forum dedicated to those topics.

A little about myself: I'm an alcoholic, active for about 15 years in full-blown addiction. I started trying to sober up about a year ago, and entered recovery in January starting with my first AA meeting. Like many here, I found the religious emphasis off-putting, but as another member said in Gemini's thread -- which was the kicker that decided me to start this one, thanks, Gem -- I took from AA what I could and left the rest alone. In May I started a VA outpatient group program that worked much better for me, and completed that program in August. My sobriety has not been perfect; I've had several lapses, but got right back on the horse and rode farther. I'm a member at SoberyRecovery.com (link is in my signature), and I've found that place to be very helpful -- lots of support from addicts in various stages ranging from still active to decades sober, and I hope anyone looking for help checks it out. They have a ton of resources, a great section for blogging, and very active forums. I'm there under the same screenname.

I hope this thread, too, can be helpful, and hope we can get this rolling and create a sort of virtual group. I'll post back later with some online resources, and will be glad to help anyone through PM who doesn't feel comfortable posting publicly on such a sensitive matter.

Be strong -- we can do this.

[abaris]

I hope to get my act together once I'm over some very serious difficulties I'm confronted with at the moment. Losing my job which I helt for the last 20 years, having a hard time paying my bills. Stuff like that. I drank a little too much over the last year, which was the prelude to my current situation. Not the drinking itself but the situation getting worse and worse making beer my best friend in the evenings. I would also like to kick the fag habit which holds me in it's claws for almost 40 years by now.

[Jesster]

I've never had to recover from anything like this, but I have the highest respect for anyone who even attempts to get away from any of it. That has to take a lot of strength. You all amaze me. This is why my grandfather was my of my favorite people.

[Thumpalumpacus]

I hope to get my act together once I'm over some very serious difficulties I'm confronted with at the moment. Losing my job which I helt for the last 20 years, having a hard time paying my bills. Stuff like that. I drank a little too much over the last year, which was the prelude to my current situation. Not the drinking itself but the situation getting worse and worse making beer my best friend in the evenings. I would also like to kick the fag habit which holds me in it's claws for almost 40 years by now.

It's insidious. Mine started full-blown after my son's mother and I broke up. I was always functioning, never lost a job or friend over drunk behavior, but I did indeed hurt people I love, and last year lost a lover who was tired of my shit.

[abaris]

It's insidious. Mine started full-blown after my son's mother and I broke up. I was always functioning, never lost a job or friend over drunk behavior, but I did indeed hurt people I love, and last year lost a lover who was tired of my shit.

I'm fully functional, since I never drink during the day. The evenings or weekends are a different matter. Especially when I know there's a hard day lurking just around the corner.

[Aegon]

As I said in the other thread, I'm an amphetamine addict. It actually started from a medication legally prescribed to me for ADHD when I was 17. The doc started me on way too high of a dose, but I realized that I was getting high as hell from it. It gave me such a magical euphoria, made me so sociable, and let me get so much work done in a short period of time. I went back and told the doc, "Meh, I'm sort of feeling it" so he would give me the max dosage. When I first started using it, I didn't even take it enough to really call it drug abuse. I was taking the correct amount as prescribed. It wasn't until I developed a tolerance that I started abusing it way more. And my tolerance went up even more. Soon I couldn't feel a thing from it, so I moved on to getting them illegally, then getting stronger stims. I eventually used meth for a period. At first I smoked it, then I was introduced to IVing and wow, yeah, no coming back from that. I'd go on serious binges that could last 3 to 4 days, with no sleep or solid food. I got so fucking skinny. I couldn't function anymore; the stuff I used to help me function wound up completely controlling me. It was such a terrible feeling, being slave to this substance.

I haven't used since May. I had relapsed then; before that I hadn't used since February. But a lot has happened in those months. I find it much easier to be clean now; I had forgotten how much I enjoyed certain parts of my life. I cut the people out of my life who enabled my addiction, some of whom are addicts themselves; I made sure to tell them I'd be there for them if they wanted to get clean.

I've become much more spiritual; I find that Taoism has really spoke to me. Addicts are bent only on one thing. We look to satisfy ourselves with our vice of choice...to stimulate our senses. This makes it impossible to be happy because that sort of stimulation we get from finally satisfying ourselves with our vice is not an end goal, but rather something that should be a result of an end goal. The feeling we get when we choke down a shot or take a bump should be the feeling we get when we spend time with a good friend, when we finish a project after working long and hard on it, when we kiss somebody we love, when we watch the sunrise, when we watch the sunset... If the feeling we get from a drug is the most satisfying thing we can think of, what is the point? Our connection to our surroundings and, more importantly, those who care about us, is severed. We can't rebuild those connections if our vices are our end goals. I think about this a lot whenever I experience a craving for speed, and it really helps.

I also smoke pot, if I haven't made that obvious. One could argue it goes against some of what I just said, but I don't think about getting stoned all the time. I don't think that if I don't get stoned I won't get anything done. I don't rely on getting stoned to function. Early in my recovery, it helped with my stim cravings. Now it's just a way for me to unwind after a long day and fall asleep. It does not have even close to the same effect on me as uppers do.

[brewer]

I'm fully functional, since I never drink during the day. The evenings or weekends are a different matter. Especially when I know there's a hard day lurking just around the corner.

bold mine

Yeah, I used to say that also, until I wasn't.  There is a reason they call it cunning, baffling and powerful.

Only you can decide if it's a real problem.

[abaris]

Yeah, I used to say that also, until I wasn't.  There is a reason they call it cunning, baffling and powerful.

No, I know what I'm talking about. My job, which I have to quit at the end of the year since the boss sold out, involves a lot of strain, responsibility and concentration. There have been people drinking on the job, but they didn't last very long. I know what I'm doing and as of yet don't have any problems going for more than 16 hours without having a drink. In my case it's rather binge drinking than constant abuse.

[brewer]

I talked about the ETOH. I should probably let you know that I did the opiate needle dance the first time around. Had 10 years straight in between.

[brewer]

Yeah, I used to say that also, until I wasn't.  There is a reason they call it cunning, baffling and powerful.

No, I know what I'm talking about. My job, which I have to quit at the end of the year since the boss sold out, involves a lot of strain, responsibility and concentration. There have been people drinking on the job, but they didn't last very long. I know what I'm doing and as of yet don't have any problems going for more than 16 hours without having a drink. In my case it's rather binge drinking than constant abuse.

Not making any judgement. It's your call.