Anyone identify with being feminine? How about masculine?

[Whateverist]

Wasn't quite sure which forum to park this in but I'll put it here in the same forum as "Any anti-feminists? Any feminists?" which inspired it in part.  Probably would have gotten hooked in if I had been on much yesterday but happy to say I took a break and a really nice long walk.  On that walk something triggered a thought about "prettyness" and what it must be like to grow up in a world where that is a parameter I pay attention to.  Something I heard on the radio recently from a young woman writer who wrote a book about the 'girls' Charles Manson gathered around him.  The author read a passage from the point of view of a new girl to the group, and how she immediately and automatically sized up how pretty each of the girls was, who was the prettiest and how she herself stacked up against each one.  Made me wonder how 'normal' that is in women's experience.

Ladies, would you say "being/feeling feminine" is an integral part of your daily experience?  If so, can you describe what that is like?  I'd be just as interested to hear from our T community in this regard.  For both, I'd also be interested to know how you first became aware of that aspect of yourself.  For the L community, same questions.

For the gentlemen I wonder how you feel about 'masculinity'.  My own reaction is to wonder what that even is.  Masculinity, if I have it, isn't anything I'm aware of.  I can think about similarities between myself and other males, but there isn't anything I'm aware of which is as overt as what that author described on that radio interview.  Can anyone else think of something I may be overlooking?

Hope you won't mind if I leave off a poll this time.

[Iroscato]

I just sort of...am. I don't think I'm particularly masculine - whatever that's supposed to mean these days - nor do I feel any great need to be so.

[ScienceAf]

Wasn't quite sure which forum to park this in but I'll put it here in the same forum as "Any anti-feminists? Any feminists?" which inspired it in part.  Probably would have gotten hooked in if I had been on much yesterday but happy to say I took a break and a really nice long walk.  On that walk something triggered a thought "prettyness" and what it must be like to grow up in a world where that is a parameter I pay attention to.  Something I heard on the radio recently from a young woman writer who wrote a book about the 'girls' Charles Manson gathered around him.  The author read a passage from the point of view of a new girl to the group, and how she immediately and automatically sized up how pretty each of the girls was, who was the prettiest and how she herself stacked up against each one.  Made me wonder how 'normal' that is in women's experience.

Ladies, would you say "being/feeling feminine" is an integral part of your daily experience?  If so, can you describe what that is like?  I'd be just as interested to hear from our T community in this regard.  For both, I'd also be interested to know how you first became aware of that aspect of yourself.  For the L community, same questions.

For the gentlemen I wonder how you feel about 'masculinity'.  My own reaction is to wonder what that even is.  Masculinity, if I have it, isn't anything I'm aware of.  I can think about similarities between myself and other males, but there isn't anything I'm aware of which is as overt as what that author described on that radio interview.  Can anyone else think of something I may be overlooking?

Hope you won't mind if I leave off a poll this time.

I'm obviously just hitting puberty but I feel like masculinity is a term that should exist. It simply defines one "manliness". It's a blurred line but you can tell a grain of sand apart from a handful of sand. One may prefer a masculine man, one may not. I would (as a human) seize up immediately if a man is a threat to my dominance sub-consciously. But it wouldn't bother me. Men are men, some are not. Not much to overlook I guess.

[vorlon13]

What an interesting question.


I know what I like (masculinity, or rather my take on masculinity as expressed by men around me) but what about me ??


When I find myself doing something notably masculine (recently dispatching a second mortally run over deer with a 4' steel pipe springs to mind) I have had the random thought arise, "look what this fairy is doing, honey!" so maybe I don't perceive myself as all that masculine all the time.

I don't have any issues from the locals, apparently I 'pass' for whatever it is they find 'acceptable'.

LOL, not all of them manage to meet my 'masculinity criteria' BTW.

[Whateverist]

What an interesting question.


I know what I like (masculinity, or rather my take on masculinity as expressed by men around me) but what about me ??


When I find myself doing something notably masculine (recently dispatching a second mortally run over deer with a 4' steel pipe springs to mind) I have had the random thought arise, "look what this fairy is doing, honey!" so maybe I don't perceive myself as all that masculine all the time.

I don't have any issues from the locals, apparently I 'pass' for whatever it is they find 'acceptable'.

LOL, not all of them manage to meet my 'masculinity criteria' BTW.

I imagine I wouldn't meet your criteria either, and I could definitely make the world a more beautiful place for those whose field of vision I invade if I paid any attention to what I wear.  Definitely lack the queer eye thing.  I don't have a lot of upper body strength and never worked out in order to achieve any physique goals.  Meh, don't care.  I've always been more agile than strong and I'm good with that, though I think I wouldn't have been happy if I weren't athletic at all.  I'm actually fairly competitive that way or at least I used to be.

Maybe the masculine equivalent of "am I pretty enough" would be "am I tough enough", but if that is all it is I don't have it.  I may be aware of people who strike me as a physical threat, but I sure don't compare myself or see an imposing presence as any kind of goal.

[Whateverist]

Wasn't quite sure which forum to park this in but I'll put it here in the same forum as "Any anti-feminists? Any feminists?" which inspired it in part.  Probably would have gotten hooked in if I had been on much yesterday but happy to say I took a break and a really nice long walk.  On that walk something triggered a thought "prettyness" and what it must be like to grow up in a world where that is a parameter I pay attention to.  Something I heard on the radio recently from a young woman writer who wrote a book about the 'girls' Charles Manson gathered around him.  The author read a passage from the point of view of a new girl to the group, and how she immediately and automatically sized up how pretty each of the girls was, who was the prettiest and how she herself stacked up against each one.  Made me wonder how 'normal' that is in women's experience.

Ladies, would you say "being/feeling feminine" is an integral part of your daily experience?  If so, can you describe what that is like?  I'd be just as interested to hear from our T community in this regard.  For both, I'd also be interested to know how you first became aware of that aspect of yourself.  For the L community, same questions.

For the gentlemen I wonder how you feel about 'masculinity'.  My own reaction is to wonder what that even is.  Masculinity, if I have it, isn't anything I'm aware of.  I can think about similarities between myself and other males, but there isn't anything I'm aware of which is as overt as what that author described on that radio interview.  Can anyone else think of something I may be overlooking?

Hope you won't mind if I leave off a poll this time.

I'm obviously just hitting puberty but I feel like masculinity is a term that should exist. It simply defines one "manliness". It's a blurred line but you can tell a grain of sand apart from a handful of sand. One may prefer a masculine man, one may not. I would (as a human) seize up immediately if a man is a threat to my dominance sub-consciously. But it wouldn't bother me. Men are men, some are not. Not much to overlook I guess.

You are at exactly that age at which this sort of comparisons probably should be on your radar.  I guess that is something we all give some thought to as our bodies transmogrify from children to sexual beings.  That is plenty normal.  I can't really remember that phase very clearly for myself, but it seems likely I would have had the exact same concerns.

[Excited Penguin]

I will talk about myself as a hetero man and others like me. This may very well describe only a a portion of the people described anyway. I dont know.

I've found that men, including me, tend to treat other men differently than women, for example. Very differently. You are in a competition with a man, whereas a woman you don't find a threat so you have a way more relaxed demeanor towards, generally speaking. This difference is a very subtle one to distinguish from your interactions, I think,but it's definitely there. 

I think masculinity is about feeling a certain amount of responsibility over your surroundings. You feel the need to protect others rather than just yourself. You feel more like putting yourself in harms way when necessary to help another. That can make you more aggressive and apprehensive by nature. 


I don't much like being over the top masculine. It doesn't suit me, I think, yet this is who I've turned into over time. I was much happier identifying as a mere person and taking everything lightly beforehand. If you ask me it's something that should be reserved to people like the military, the police, firemen and so on. In normal social situations this quality shouldn't exist. It's toxic and irrational.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

I think I fall in line with a lot of the masculine stereotypes - I'm tall, physically fit, I like sport, and I get five o'clock shadow by noon.

That being said, I can also cook things that aren't meat on places other than an outdoor grill, I'm a reasonably good sempstor, I can knit, and I tend to cry at the sad bits in films.

Boru

[Whateverist]

I think I fall in line with a lot of the masculine stereotypes - I'm tall, physically fit, I like sport, and I get five o'clock shadow by noon.

That being said, I can also cook things that aren't meat on places other than an outdoor grill, I'm a reasonably good sempstor, I can knit, and I tend to cry at the sad bits in films.

Boru

So basically pretty cultured and human?  Just trying to tease out the 'masculine' bits.  Must be in the sports and the Homer Simpson shadow?

[Catholic_Lady]

Yeah, I'd say feeling/being feminine is integral to me.

As for what it's like? I dunno, lol. I like it though. It's hard to explain it. It's like, I like feeling pretty and feeling like I want someone to protect me and take care of me. Which is weird because at the same time, I kinda wear the pants in mine and my husband's relationship lol. Nonetheless, that's what it feels like to me to feel feminine. Though I'm sure it's different for each woman.