you can keep heaven

[Doubting Thomas]

But guys sounds from Hell have been recorded so it has been scientifically proven!!!




How can you listen to it and then not run to Church?  

It was even reported in the Weekly World News so you know it's true!

[Doubting Thomas]

I agree, even if there were a heaven I would want no part of it. I would want no part of such an asshole god.

My favorite theory is the two husbands/wives. Your first spouse passes and you miss them but you move on and find another. You love this one just as much as the first but now you love both. It's okay cause you can't have the first back. But wait there's more... now y'all are all in heaven. Is this a love triangle now? Mormon two wives thing going down in heaven? I'm assuming 'heaven' doesn't have jealousy so all parties are cool with that. Or is there not the idea of being with your loved ones like that? In the movie Michael, Travolta says they don't have sex in heaven... that sounds like a pretty awful heaven to me. Who wants to go all of eternity without sex? *Christians: Oh but you are past worldly desires when dead* Did you hear me? NO. FUN.

Exactly.  My idea of paradise would be being able to partake of sex for eternity with the most beautiful women without worry of pregnancy or STD's.  Who would want to go an eternity without being able to participate in sex?  Even if you "are past worldly desires" after you die, why couldn't you at least choose to enjoy what you enjoyed on earth?

The trouble is that it's the bible bangers who decide what Heaven is like, and they make it sound like it's going to be an eternity of bible study. No thanks.

[Chad32]

You could probably get those sounds out of any noisy, crowded place, if you edited it a little to make it more haunting.

[The Joker]

Often i here that if i'm wrong i lose everything and i choose theism i gain everything my response is no. If i'm wrong i have lost nothing and if i choose theism i have gained nothing. Because  i have gained all that i have right or reason to demand or expect.  Demanding more is pure greed .

And setting even that aside who in there right mind would desire an after life the very concept is more nightmarish then any i have ever encountered. It doesn't matter the type of after life or what you would be doing in it the idea is awful.And worst still as far as i can think on the matter pointless   

So if heaven exists theists can have it .if hell exists then so be it ill spend it weeping for those trapped in heaven for thou they may never realize it (thou truth be told i think the majority would) there position as far as i'm concerned is just as bad as mine .

Oh and those theists who say they will lose nothing if there wrong what makes them so sure it's a god that punishes people.and setting that aside you wasted a life believing a lie and will gain nothing for living it.

Just my thoughts

Well, I guess you can go to heaven, If

• You did all that God had said
  
• You obeyed the Gods laws( Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with thy whole heart, and with thy whole soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind:And the second is like to it: Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is no other commandment greater than these. Mark 12 )
  
• You have faith in God
  
• You are doing Gods will
  
• You are a Christian
  
• You repented of your sins and continue to repent 
  

[Primordial Bisque]

You're in luck, my friend, since it's all made  up

 
I know the probability is absurdly low 

It's lower than that.  

I was just thinking even if it were true it would not be desirable in the least 

Good. At first I though you were having a self inflicted Pascal's Wager spaz attack. I thought 'This person needs a shot of Atheism, STAT!'

This life is real and it's good (because it always have the potential to become good) and death is closure and nothing to fear it's the universe moving and i'm just a part. And even if the universe should die (if it truly can) then it's merely the ending of  the real greatest story ever told. I know how i want my part to be.

And to those who say your action good or ill have no effect because there is no reward or punishment i retort only a sociopath thinks in such terms . and why would i try and bribe a monster

Agreed. I imagine eternal life would be rather dull anyway, and probably drive anyone bonkers after a while; to the point where it becomes hellish.

[Minimalist]

I agree, even if there were a heaven I would want no part of it. I would want no part of such an asshole god.

My favorite theory is the two husbands/wives. Your first spouse passes and you miss them but you move on and find another. You love this one just as much as the first but now you love both. It's okay cause you can't have the first back. But wait there's more... now y'all are all in heaven. Is this a love triangle now? Mormon two wives thing going down in heaven? I'm assuming 'heaven' doesn't have jealousy so all parties are cool with that. Or is there not the idea of being with your loved ones like that? In the movie Michael, Travolta says they don't have sex in heaven... that sounds like a pretty awful heaven to me. Who wants to go all of eternity without sex? *Christians: Oh but you are past worldly desires when dead* Did you hear me? NO. FUN.

Right about there is when one of the fuckers shows up to tell you that you are reading it out of context.... or something.

[Casca]

If heaven and hell were real, the irony is that god would have more than enough cause to send himself to hell.

[Amarok]

Often i here that if i'm wrong i lose everything and i choose theism i gain everything my response is no. If i'm wrong i have lost nothing and if i choose theism i have gained nothing. Because  i have gained all that i have right or reason to demand or expect.  Demanding more is pure greed .

And setting even that aside who in there right mind would desire an after life the very concept is more nightmarish then any i have ever encountered. It doesn't matter the type of after life or what you would be doing in it the idea is awful.And worst still as far as i can think on the matter pointless   

So if heaven exists theists can have it .if hell exists then so be it ill spend it weeping for those trapped in heaven for thou they may never realize it (thou truth be told i think the majority would) there position as far as i'm concerned is just as bad as mine .

Oh and those theists who say they will lose nothing if there wrong what makes them so sure it's a god that punishes people.and setting that aside you wasted a life believing a lie and will gain nothing for living it.

Just my thoughts

Well, I guess you can go to heaven, If

• You did all that God had said
  
• You obeyed the Gods laws( Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with thy whole heart, and with thy whole soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind:And the second is like to it: Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is no other commandment greater than these. Mark 12 )
  
• You have faith in God
  
• You are doing Gods will
  
• You are a Christian
  
• You repented of your sins and continue to repent 
  
  

you clearly did not even read my posts or even the title of this thread so why  did you even bother commenting

[Tonus]

And setting even that aside who in there right mind would desire an after life the very concept is more nightmarish then any i have ever encountered. It doesn't matter the type of after life or what you would be doing in it the idea is awful.

Oh, I don't know. I can think of at least a few kinds of afterlife that I'd enjoy for at least a while. None of them involve wandering around on a cloud and praying to god all day. At least a dozen or so involve me with my pants around my ankles.

Nor can I say whether or not I could handle eternity. Maybe if I had a short enough memory and an exciting enough afterlife I could go on forever, enjoying crazy adventures and living the good life, oblivious to the why and how of it all. Eternal ignorance, eternal bliss. Or maybe eternity is the real hell-- realizing that you can't leave the party no matter how badly you want to. I definitely don't think that 60-100 years is enough, though.

I think that the concept of an afterlife in the traditional religions isn't fleshed out enough to make it seem desirable. Floating around forever and ever, stopping every few seconds to remind God that he's just the most awesome thing that ever existed? What IS heaven? What WILL people do there? What PURPOSE would they have? And do they find it attractive because the only other option is hell?

[robvalue]

You won't even be yourself in "heaven" because your free will must be severely restricted if not removed altogether, to stop you "sinning".

If it was possible to give us free will without us being able to do horrible shit to each other, then surely God would have done that this time around. Unless he's a sadist.

Imagine an evil God, laughing at all these people dancing around following all his stupid rules. Then he sends them all to hell anyway. I have no idea why people insist God must be "good". The evidence weighs heavily to the contrary, if you blame him for our setup.