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RE: Sex or affection?
December 9, 2016 at 12:00 pm
I'm severely physically disabled and I've moved around a whole ton, including in high school, of which I attended 4 in 3 states. I definitely had my crushes on girls over the years, but with those circumstances weighing against me, nothing ever happened.
So, now, at three days short of 41, I just don't know. One moment I feel like I lean heavily towards sex, but then I get to really thinking about sex, and feel like it seems all cold if there's not a mutual affection present. I can look at the most heartbreakingly beautiful young woman on the web, and I'd yearn painfully hard for her affection. For that feeling that she thinks as highly of me as I do of her.
OTOH, sex with somebody you find physically unattractive would seem like a chore. At best like repeatedly licking a cowboy boot.
So, with all that said, it almost seems like my own status quo is the best.
"For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." - Carl Sagan
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RE: Sex or affection?
December 9, 2016 at 12:03 pm
I'm really sorry c172. 
"Of course, everyone will claim they respect someone who tries to speak the truth, but in reality, this is a rare quality. Most respect those who speak truths they agree with, and their respect for the speaking only extends as far as their realm of personal agreement. It is less common, almost to the point of becoming a saintly virtue, that someone truly respects and loves the truth seeker, even when their conclusions differ wildly."
-walsh
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RE: Sex or affection?
December 9, 2016 at 12:06 pm
(This post was last modified: December 9, 2016 at 12:10 pm by Whateverist.)
I'd choose great sex with a total bitch but find an affection-buddy for a regular afternoon rendezvous. You know this solution might be just the thing for you religious types. I don't think there is any prohibition against affection with your neighbor's wife so long as nothing carnal ensues.
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RE: Sex or affection?
December 9, 2016 at 12:09 pm
(December 9, 2016 at 12:00 pm)c172 Wrote: I'm severely physically disabled and I've moved around a whole ton, including in high school, of which I attended 4 in 3 states. I definitely had my crushes on girls over the years, but with those circumstances weighing against me, nothing ever happened.
So, now, at three days short of 41, I just don't know. One moment I feel like I lean heavily towards sex, but then I get to really thinking about sex, and feel like it seems all cold if there's not a mutual affection present. I can look at the most heartbreakingly beautiful young woman on the web, and I'd yearn painfully hard for her affection. For that feeling that she thinks as highly of me as I do of her.
OTOH, sex with somebody you find physically unattractive would seem like a chore. At best like repeatedly licking a cowboy boot.
So, with all that said, it almost seems like my own status quo is the best.
That's rough friend
Seek strength, not to be greater than my brother, but to fight my greatest enemy -- myself.
Inuit Proverb
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RE: Sex or affection?
December 9, 2016 at 12:56 pm
I'd keep affection. For me, affection sets the stage for good lovin', and continues on that feeling after the good lovin'. Without affection, love-making doesn't have the depth of emotion, for my money.
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RE: Sex or affection?
December 9, 2016 at 3:09 pm
(This post was last modified: December 9, 2016 at 3:10 pm by robvalue.)
Time for you all to experiment. One week no sex, then one week no other affection 
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RE: Sex or affection?
December 9, 2016 at 3:37 pm
I've been doing the "no sex" part for too goddamned long.
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RE: Sex or affection?
December 9, 2016 at 4:25 pm
I can relate. I didn't have sex until I was 24 years old.
"Of course, everyone will claim they respect someone who tries to speak the truth, but in reality, this is a rare quality. Most respect those who speak truths they agree with, and their respect for the speaking only extends as far as their realm of personal agreement. It is less common, almost to the point of becoming a saintly virtue, that someone truly respects and loves the truth seeker, even when their conclusions differ wildly."
-walsh
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RE: Sex or affection?
December 9, 2016 at 5:27 pm
Well, it ain't been that long, thankfully!
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RE: Sex or affection?
December 9, 2016 at 6:01 pm
I had sex when I was 20. Then again at 30. Not long till I'm 40, next March!
Super weird, the guy opposite me in hospital had the same birthday as me.
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