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Into the abyss
#51
RE: Into the abyss
IANMTU:

no secret I live in a remote isolated rural shithole backwater, so, at 4:30 this morning while getting picked up by a relative to go for the procedure, a car that was going by suddenly whips into the driveway and roars to a stop in front of the garage!

"Is everything OK?" exclaimed a neighbor, "I drive by this time every week day to get coffee when the local watering hole opens, and there is never anything going on here when I do!"

I explained I had to go in early for a 'scope, and he commiserated with a "Oh, the prep for that is NASTY!"  and all of us were on our way.

The joys of small town living.
 The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it. 




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#52
RE: Into the abyss
I'm so glad you got through that, vorlon. I remember the juice they gave me. It was several years ago but I never went back for the follow up because I think the man was trying to kill me. He put me on some powder that was supposed to increase my stool. but it didn't make it come out. I did feel like I was dying a very painful death Worse, he told me I'd be taking it for the rest of my life. Needless to say, I never went back to him. And the doctor who referred me to him went out of business.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.

I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.

Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire

Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
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#53
RE: Into the abyss
(December 30, 2016 at 9:28 am)Jörmungandr Wrote: Mmmm....   I could go for a McDonald's cheeseburger about now.....


Mmmmm .. a Fleet enima .. and then a cheeseburger.   Sounds so good.

(December 30, 2016 at 5:04 pm)mh.brewer Wrote:
(December 30, 2016 at 3:42 pm)vorlon13 Wrote: I'm home, had a good nap, and will probably take another.

Had some apple sauce packets in the rig to eat on the way home, and also hit McDonalds for Egg McMuffins too.

Procedure went well enough, need a follow up probe in 3 years for a spot or two they want to keep a watch on, not bad for a 60 year old fart.

Staff was super nice, worse part (other than continued cramping from the purgative) was the 1/2 wait in the prep room.  I came out of the sedation apparently really fast (I'm thinking my doper history to the rescue sort of thing) and was coherent enough to be let go home almost immediately.

First time I have EVER been wheel chaired out of a hospital, the nurse claimed it was 'policy', I found it humiliating and a craven ploy towards aggravating my geriatric bratitude.

Cranky

Did you get pictures or a DVD of the event? If you did I think they need to be posted in a thread of their own.


Yeah we all want a fly through before we go in.   Dodgy
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#54
RE: Into the abyss
(December 30, 2016 at 5:21 pm)vorlon13 Wrote: IANMTU:

no secret I live in a remote isolated rural shithole backwater, so, at 4:30 this morning while getting picked up by a relative to go for the procedure, a car that was going by suddenly whips into the driveway and roars to a stop in front of the garage!

"Is everything OK?" exclaimed a neighbor, "I drive by this time every week day to get coffee when the local watering hole opens, and there is never anything going on here when I do!"

I explained I had to go in early for a 'scope, and he commiserated with a "Oh, the prep for that is NASTY!"  and all of us were on our way.

The joys of small town living.

By now the whole county knows about your asshole.
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#55
RE: Into the abyss
no such thing as bad publicity . . .
 The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it. 




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#56
RE: Into the abyss
OMFG !!!!



  mentioned procedure to a friend and was informed on a previous procedure he had, he went in after the ordeal of purging, and the goddam doctor wasn't there and he was sent home to go through the procedure AGAIN !!!!!
 The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it. 




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#57
RE: Into the abyss
If I was on that jury I'd give him a huge malpractice award.  Where's that lawyer we had a few days ago?
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#58
RE: Into the abyss
(December 29, 2016 at 2:11 pm)vorlon13 Wrote: For the upcoming colonoscopy, I've been given a jug (4 liters worth!) of something with the consistency of cow drool and the taste of salty Vaseline (don't ask how I know this).

So, realizing that humor is the only thing in my quiver that is going to get me through this, I'm  making a thread here so the rest of you can share the experience.

I've imbibed just a few ounces of this demon spew  and already I'm having stomach cramps.

Jesus fucking Christ, is colon cancer really that bad ?

Omg...I've had several colonoscopies (your welcome everyone for that little trivia tidbit) and that stuff is the fucking WORSSSST!  And there is so much of it!  Why is there SO much of it?!

Pro-tip:  call doc office and say you can't keep the stuff down.  They'll give you miralax tabs to mix with gatorade.  Waaaaay easier to stomach.
Nay_Sayer: “Nothing is impossible if you dream big enough, or in this case, nothing is impossible if you use a barrel of KY Jelly and a miniature horse.”

Wiser words were never spoken. 
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#59
RE: Into the abyss
(January 11, 2017 at 10:44 pm)LadyForCamus Wrote: Omg...I've had several colonoscopies (your welcome everyone for that little trivia tidbit) and that stuff is the fucking WORSSSST!  And there is so much of it!  Why is there SO much of it?!

Pro-tip:  call doc office and say you can't keep the stuff down.  They'll give you miralax tabs to mix with gatorade.  Waaaaay easier to stomach.

They want to make sure the nickel and all of the gum you swallowed as a child are out. 

Don't you have baby birthin to be focused on?
I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem.
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