Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: March 29, 2024, 9:10 am

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Hall of random shit
#11
RE: Hall of random shit
Why do they bother banning guns then?
It's a well known fact that spoons are just as effective? Hehe
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Reply
#12
RE: Hall of random shit
(January 1, 2017 at 6:18 pm)vorlon13 Wrote: [Image: 4778254088_b48abdca09_z.jpg]

Thanks for that, vor. I LOVED the 'Mushroom Planet' series where I was a kid, haven't thought about them in yonks. Ta for bringing up some fond memories.

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
Reply
#13
RE: Hall of random shit
'Twas the Night of the King's Castration: the last of the Royal Balls was coming off. All the counts, discounts and no-accounts were sitting around the throne room slinging camel-shit; for in those days, bull-shit was as yet unknown.
A noise was heard in the courtyard and in came Daniel on his gallant white steed, with his balls slung over his shoulder. "What ho!" cried the King. "Ass-hole!" replied Daniel, thus scoring an early point for the common people.
At this, the Queen dashed madly through the court with her drawers at half-mast, and her ass shining like a looking-glass in the moonlight.
Hilarious now, the King offered Daniel the post of second-in-command. "But what of the Queen?" asked Daniel. "Oh, fuck the Queen!" replied the King, and 50,000 loyal courtiers were killed in the rush, for in those days the King's word was law, and the King ruled with an iron hand.
Upon seeing such mass slaughter, the King in exasperation exclaimed, "Oh, shit!"; and all 50,000 remaining loyal courtiers dropped their drawers and squatted on their haunches and strained and grunted in unison, for in those days the King's word was law and the King ruled with an iron hand.
"Stop!" cried the Queen, thinking of the royal carpet. The King called "Halt!" and 49,999 loyal butt-holes snapped shut with a stately click, and 49,999 glistening turds were nipped, gently steaming in the morning air, all save for that of Daniel, who proceeded to lay a turd two cubits wide by one cubit high by three cubits long.
The King was sore affronted, and ordered Daniel thrown into the lions' den for three days and three nights, for in those days the King's word was law and the King ruled with an iron hand.
And here was Daniel, in the midst of all those roaring, snarling beasts --- but of course, you could easily recognize Daniel by the large green parasol that he always carried.
On the first day, the Queen came unto Daniel and Daniel said, "Oh Queen, I am in need of some tea!" and the Queen asked, "What manner of tea?" Daniel replied, "C-U-N-T!" And the Queen departed.
On the second day the Queen came unto Daniel and Daniel said, "Oh Queen, I am in need of some pills!" and the Queen asked, "What manner of pills?" Daniel replied, "NIP-PILLS!" And the Queen departed.
On the third day, the King came unto Daniel, but it had come to pass that on the morning of the third day, Daniel had shat a great shit, and the lions were sore affronted. Almost all of them had thenceforth kept their distance from Daniel. But one of the lions took a liking to Daniel's left nut, and began to munch upon it. "Oh, it tickles, it tickles!" cried Daniel. "What tickles?" asked the King. "TES-TICKLES!" roared Daniel, thereby scoring another point for the common people. Upon hearing this, all the ladies in the courtyard took out their tits and tittered.
Then the lion crouched as if to spring, but instead laid a big turd. This amused the King, and he ordered Daniel to come forth, but Daniel slipped on the lion's turd and came fifth, thus utterly losing the race. This angered Daniel so greatly that he picked up the lion turd and, with menacing accuracy, hurled it at random. Random, being a crafty little bugger, ducked, and the turd hit the King full in the eye.
Now, this made the King exceedingly angry, whereupon he inquired, "Where's the Queen?" "Milord, she is on the Royal Crapper." "And is she well-supplied with paper?" "Milord, she has forty reams of the finest linen." "It is good," said the King. "And where's the Princess?" "Oh, she's upstairs in bed with laryngitis." "Not that fucking Greek again!" cried Daniel.
This amused the King and he spake, "Oh, fuck the Princess!" and another 40,000 loyal courtiers were trampled to death in the rush, for in those days the King's word was law, and the King ruled with an iron hand, and besides, the Princess was a comely wench. This made the King exceeding angry, but the Queen only said, "Well, I'll be fucked!" --- more in hope than in indignation. But nobody moved, save a solitary senile seneschal, quietly masturbating in a corner into a silver teaspoon, and Daniel, who, taking her at her word, grabbed the Queen by her butt-cheeks and slipped her onto his dick like a well-worn jackboot.
Later in the evening the King entered the Royal Boudoir and beheld the Queen lying on the bed, clad only in Nature's attire. "Roll over, Queen!" ordered the King. "I'll be fucked if I will!" shouted the Queen. "You will at that," observed the King, "but you'll be corn-holed if you won't!" Hearing this, the Queen shat a gold brick, for in those days a square ass-hole was a symbol of royalty.
When the King saw this, he cried, "Balls!"; not because he had to, but because he had two. And the Queen replied, "Balls!? If I had two, I could be King!"
Whereupon the King, having partaken of over-ripe olives, hied himself to the innermost part of his kingdom and proceeded to shit buttermilk for three days, and thereafter was forever known as King Dairy-Ass, throughout the world.
Blaming Daniel for his digestive discomfort the King sentenced Daniel to wander in the wilderness for forty days and forty nights, for in those days the King's word was law and the King ruled with an iron hand.
And so it came to pass that Daniel wandered in the wilderness for many a long day and many a long night. But in the evening of his thirteenth day in the wilderness, Daniel was set upon by bandits! Not, as you might at first surmise, ordinary bandits, but Mexican bandits. Nor, as you might at second surmise, ordinary Mexican bandits, but Mexican bum-bandits, who debagged him, scragged him, and shagged him, and left him with his pockets jingling, and his ass-hole tingling.
Months went by before the Queen came unto Daniel. "Oh Daniel, I am heavy with child. What steps are to be taken?" "Fuckin' big ones!" replied Daniel as he vanished over the Southern horizon.
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
Reply
#14
RE: Hall of random shit
All hail the Great and Glorious Cathusal Thwap!
If pinkie pie isn't real, then how do you explain the existence of ponies, huh? If ponies are real, then that's proof that Pinkie Pie is real. Checkmate, christians!  Heart
_______________________________
Let's stop fighting and and start smiling! This is our one and only life to live... let's be friends and live it with smiles! Big Grin

-- Book of Pinkie Pie 7:3
Reply
#15
RE: Hall of random shit
It wasn't MY fault, pal - YOU mop it up.

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
Reply
#16
RE: Hall of random shit


Reply
#17
RE: Hall of random shit






[Image: nL4L1haz_Qo04rZMFtdpyd1OZgZf9NSnR9-7hAWT...dc2a24480e]
Reply
#18
RE: Hall of random shit


Reply
#19
RE: Hall of random shit
[Image: 367-benedict-palpatine.jpg]


I don't know why these always make me laugh Tongue
Seek strength, not to be greater than my brother, but to fight my greatest enemy -- myself.

Inuit Proverb

Reply
#20
RE: Hall of random shit
Thanks for this thread, Stimbo.



Reply



Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Random Thoughts Foxaèr 10779 201426 Yesterday at 7:04 pm
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4
  Time for some Halloween shit. brewer 142 4928 November 4, 2023 at 4:12 am
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4
  My shit ass job just called me back up CarveTheFive 25 1913 May 9, 2020 at 2:48 pm
Last Post: Mr.wizard
  What we really lost in all this shit... Gawdzilla Sama 7 1127 April 20, 2020 at 10:58 pm
Last Post: Little lunch
  Hall of wit and epicness. Something completely different 852 262160 August 4, 2019 at 2:29 pm
Last Post: LadyForCamus
  Stupid shit you've seen. Gawdzilla Sama 44 5604 December 26, 2018 at 9:57 am
Last Post: Gawdzilla Sama
  The queen doesn't half talk some shit Cod 11 2031 December 26, 2018 at 9:28 am
Last Post: Gawdzilla Sama
  Inspired rather than random thoughts tackattack 20 1840 November 24, 2018 at 9:52 am
Last Post: tackattack
  I’m too old for this shit! J a c k 42 2961 September 26, 2018 at 10:34 am
Last Post: Gawdzilla Sama
  Maybe the Shit should hit the Fan fromdownunder 2 525 September 12, 2018 at 6:03 am
Last Post: Gawdzilla Sama



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)