Noah

[brewer]

But had the speech impediment of Barry Kripke. 

[Wyrd of Gawd]

No one ever bothers to do the math on Noah and the flood.

Let's round off the increase in water to 30,000 feet.

It comes down in 40 days.  That's 750 feet per day, or 9000 inches.


Would you call that phenomena rain ?  It rains more in an hour than it rains in the rainiest place on earth (Hawaii) in an ENTIRE year.

Hell, your freaking shower head doesn't put out water that fast.


Any eyewitness to precip like that would not use the word 'rain' to describe it.  and how the hell would you dry it up?  Even the hottest most parched and forsaken deserts don't evaporate water any where close to as fast as the Bible describes either.  The earth could make an astonishingly close pass to the sun and still not receive enough BTUs to evap that much water.



Oh, yeah, and as previously noted, the Egyptians missed out on it too.



Maybe it didn't fucking happen ?

The rainfall would be a little over 6 inches per minute.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

No one ever bothers to do the math on Noah and the flood.

Let's round off the increase in water to 30,000 feet.

It comes down in 40 days.  That's 750 feet per day, or 9000 inches.


Would you call that phenomena rain ?  It rains more in an hour than it rains in the rainiest place on earth (Hawaii) in an ENTIRE year.

Hell, your freaking shower head doesn't put out water that fast.


Any eyewitness to precip like that would not use the word 'rain' to describe it.  and how the hell would you dry it up?  Even the hottest most parched and forsaken deserts don't evaporate water any where close to as fast as the Bible describes either.  The earth could make an astonishingly close pass to the sun and still not receive enough BTUs to evap that much water.



Oh, yeah, and as previously noted, the Egyptians missed out on it too.



Maybe it didn't fucking happen ?

The rainfall would be a little over 6 inches per minute.

At that rate, it doesn't really qualify as 'rainfall'. A better analogy would be having a medium-sized lake dropped on you all at once.

Boru

[Mr Greene]

*COUGH-COUGH-GILGAMESH-COUGH*

[HairyCyclist]

Piss be upon him.

Do you think when god murdered everything in the flood he put that chemical in the water that makes piss turn blue? Just for his own entertainment that is?

I used to believe that myth Spent years getting out of pools to pee.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

No magic is allowed in answering these questions:

The animals got to the Ark from all over the world how?

They were fed until the rain started how?

They were fed on the Ark during the 40 days of rain how?

They were fed on the Ark during the 150 days of floating around waiting for the water to recede how?

The carnivores were fed for those 190+ days how?

The herbivores were fed while the plants recovered from the Flood how?

The carnivores were fed while the herbivores had enough time to reproduce to the level of a sustainable population how?

The records from other civilizations pre-dating the Flood and running contiguous right through the event exist how?

Genetic testing doesn't show any bottlenecks in the human race or any other species at the time the Flood is claimed to have happened. There is no geological evidence sufficient to support a global flood.

God failed in the Garden, he failed to create a human that would follow orders. Then he failed after the Fall because he didn't create more than one man and his family worth saving in the Flood. The God of the Book is a under-achiever.

[Anomalocaris]

The rainfall would be a little over 6 inches per minute.

At that rate, it doesn't really qualify as 'rainfall'.  A better analogy would be having a medium-sized lake dropped on you all at once.

Boru

More like a giant size bullshit.

---

Noah peace be upon him was a prophet.
God revealed to him, that the people of Noah should worship God before painful torture comes.

Quran: Sura number 71
( 1 )   Indeed, We sent Noah to his people, [saying], "Warn your people before there comes to them a painful torture."
( 2 )   He said, "O my people, indeed I am to you a clear warner,
( 3 )   [Saying], 'Worship Allah, fear Him and obey me.
( 4 )   Allah will forgive you of your sins and delay you for a specified term. Indeed, the time [set by] Allah, when it comes, will not be delayed, if you only knew.' "

If they worship God as Noah peace be upon him says, the coming torture will be delayed.
But they didn't believe. 

Quran: Sura number 71
( 5 )   He said, "My Lord, indeed I invited my people [to truth] night and day.
( 6 )   But my invitation increased them not except in flight.
( 7 )   And indeed, every time I invited them that You may forgive them, they put their fingers in their ears, covered themselves with their garments, persisted, and were arrogant with [great] arrogance.
( 8 )   Then I invited them publicly.
( 9 )   Then I announced to them and [also] confided to them secretly
( 10 )   And said, 'Ask forgiveness of your Lord. Indeed, He is ever a Perpetual Forgiver.

God would forgive them if they only came to him. He is merciful, forgives.
But Noah's people didn't believe him.

Quran: Sura number 71
( 11 )   He will send [rain from] the sky upon you in [continuing] showers

( 12 )   And give you increase in wealth and children and provide for you gardens and provide for you rivers.

( 13 )   What is [the matter] with you that you do not attribute to Allah [due] grandeur

( 14 )   While He has created you in stages?

( 15 )   Do you not consider how Allah has created seven heavens in layers

( 16 )   And made the moon therein a [reflected] light and made the sun a burning lamp?

( 17 )   And Allah has caused you to grow from the earth a [progressive] growth.

( 18 )   Then He will return you into it and extract you [another] extraction.

( 19 )   And Allah has made for you the earth an expanse
( 20 )   That you may follow therein roads of passage.' 

Rain would not flood them if they believe.
Their wealth and children would blossom.

Humans are born in stages. Didn't they see that?
We -humans- were grown like plants from this earth. Didn't they see that?

Stages. First grown. Then born; a production of a beautiful mating. Then become infants, stages.

Quran: Sura number 71
( 21 )   Noah said, "My Lord, indeed they have disobeyed me and followed him whose wealth and children will not increase him except in loss.
( 22 )   And they conspired an immense conspiracy.
( 23 )   And said, 'Never leave your gods and never leave Wadd or Suwa' or Yaghuth and Ya'uq and Nasr.
( 24 )   And already they have misled many. And, [my Lord], do not increase the wrongdoers except in error."
( 25 )   Because of their sins they were drowned and put into the Fire, and they found not for themselves besides Allah [any] helpers.

They disobeyed Noah. Laughed at him.
He warned them about the impending doom, but they laughed at him.
Followed the wrong cause. Followed the wrong pick; wrong people.

Followed stones, idols, what never replies to them, what never sends the rain.

Quran: Sura number 71
( 26 )   And Noah said, "My Lord, do not leave upon the earth from among the disbelievers an inhabitant.
( 27 )   Indeed, if You leave them, they will mislead Your servants and not beget except [every] wicked one and [confirmed] disbeliever.
( 28 )   My Lord, forgive me and my parents and whoever enters my house a believer and the believing men and believing women. And do not increase the wrongdoers except in destruction."

The flood came, but Noah survived.

Quran = bullshit that's not even original (peace be upon them)

[HairyCyclist]

Where did he keep the moles?

[Cato]

There was never a global deluge. The reasons we can state this as fact are easy enough to find.

Since the account is fictitious, it's only redeeming value would be as mindless entertainment or a morality play. If a morality play then the lesson learned is that people who don't uncritically follow the edicts of someone who hears voices in their head shall summarily be put to death. This bit of nonsense should be tossed on the pile of hideously insane ideas.

[downbeatplumb]

The flood came, but Noah survived.

It rained for forty days and forty nights, in Scotland that is known as Summer.