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Book of Unicorn
28th September 2011, 21:55 (This post was last modified: 28th September 2011 22:14 by paintpooper.)
Post: #1
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Book of Unicorn
So I just found a magical book about Unicorns, it was written by the Unicorns before they left earth. It was buried in my back yard.
Unicorns used to rule the earth. They got too powerful so they grew wings and flew into space to rule us from afar.
The Unicorns say they will return if we don't follow their rules. They have a few commandments.

No one will worship anything but the Unicorn.
You must obey the Book of Unicorn.
That the "Holy Bible" was created by Dualcorns to deceive the humans. So you cannot believe in it.
You cannot say the word dinkledorf
If you don't follow these rules they will fly down and spear your soul which means a life of spearing once your physical body dies.

There once was a Unicorn(without its horn) that lived on earth called Jebus.
He was the offspring of a horse and a Unicorn. People remember seeing a horse with no horn so that was Jebus. I even have pictures of horses.

Oh and if you carbon date my Unicorn book that won't matter, it states in the Book that is is immune to all chemical tests.

Prove to me that this Unicorn Book I found is not the real word of the Unicorn Gods.
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28th September 2011, 21:57
Post: #2
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RE: Book of Unicorn
Very odd indeed, I've also found exactly such a text. That's independent corroboration right there.
“I find something repulsive about the idea of vicarious redemption. I would not throw my numberless sins onto a scapegoat and expect them to pass from me" - Christopher Hitchens.
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28th September 2011, 22:26
Post: #3
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RE: Book of Unicorn
Oh mystic and powerful Unicorns, have mercy on me, your true and righteous servant!

I don't care if it's true or false. I don't want an eternity of spearing when I die... so I am a believer!
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29th September 2011, 00:03
Post: #4
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RE: Book of Unicorn
Look, even Ryft acknowledges the Invisible Pink Unicorn (blessed be her hooves).
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29th September 2011, 00:09
Post: #5
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RE: Book of Unicorn
Excuse me, I'm a member of Church Of The Yogage. I find this thread offensive to my beliefs. I believe in the mighty Yoga Lord as laid down by the prophet frankiej (haggis be upon him).
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29th September 2011, 00:38
Post: #6
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RE: Book of Unicorn
INFIDELS!!
If the only thing keeping a person decent is the expectation of divine reward than brother, that person is a piece of shit.

AND we have yet another christard doing the kind of verbal gymnastics and mental contortions that would make a pretzel barf. [Image: Cherna-facepalm.gif]
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29th September 2011, 00:41
Post: #7
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RE: Book of Unicorn
You're all infidels.

I love my birth religion so much that on this eve of the new year... I'm stripping and going to sleep.

Blaspheme away.
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29th September 2011, 00:44
Post: #8
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RE: Book of Unicorn
(29th September 2011 00:41)thesummerqueen Wrote:  ... I'm stripping and going to sleep.

Blaspheme away.

umm ... religion is dumb ... lets talk more about naked girls!
If the only thing keeping a person decent is the expectation of divine reward than brother, that person is a piece of shit.

AND we have yet another christard doing the kind of verbal gymnastics and mental contortions that would make a pretzel barf. [Image: Cherna-facepalm.gif]
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29th September 2011, 01:10
Post: #9
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RE: Book of Unicorn
Let's worship naked girls.
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29th September 2011, 02:46
Post: #10
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RE: Book of Unicorn
Sure, we'll talk about it...I'm for 'em!
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