Character-Building Advice.

[Lehrling]

I have, with the help of another adult, recently realized that I am coming off as an arrogant prick on facebook.
Unfortunately, this does have a lot of truth to it.

I think the reason people don't talk to me much on FB is that they think I will bite their head off if they disagree with me or cannot adequately explain their beliefs.

Any advice on repairing my image?
Some older people's advice would be welcome.

[thesummerqueen]

Most people just get pissed if you don't listen to their view. Do you bite their head off? Or are you friends with a lot of tards?

[Lehrling]

Most people just get pissed if you don't listen to their view. Do you bite their head off? Or are you friends with a lot of tards?

A bit of both, really.
I just want to strive making myself the reasonable and likeable person; especially since there are so few atheists that have enough patience.

That, and I really do think I've been a douchebag. >.>

Should I just sit out and not speak?
It's so hard! I thrive on having one idiot to put in his place a day!
unfortunately, sometimes i invent an idiot and then tear that person down. At least, I tear their argument down with a bit more aggressiveness that necessary.

[thesummerqueen]

Okay, well, don't invent the idiot. There are enough of them out there, and enough arguments on this board if you want them.

And no, if something is wrong, don't be quiet about it. But you might first ask them why they hold those views before you rip them a new one. People like it when it seems like you're taking their feelings into account first.

[Lehrling]

Okay, well, don't invent the idiot. There are enough of them out there, and enough arguments on this board if you want them.

And no, if something is wrong, don't be quiet about it. But you might first ask them why they hold those views before you rip them a new one. People like it when it seems like you're taking their feelings into account first.

Oh! Good idea.
*takes notes*

Thanks!

[thesummerqueen]

See if any of this helps you. The topic starts about ghosts, but it works for atheist and skeptic discussions:

http://www.skepticnorth.com/2011/09/talk...ut-ghosts/

[Autumnlicious]

Sometimes I gain the (temporary) ability to stop, ask them a little for why they think the way they do, then begin my response with "I understand.." where I work to make them feel comfortable for making the choices they made (that is, so they don't get defensive) and offer things like "Perhaps instead of X, you can look at Y", etc,.

Unfortunately, the rest of the time, I'm not very good at being a peace maker.

If you would like for a role model, then look no further than Atticus Finch. You may commence your Lessons in Manliness, Lehrling.

REF: http://artofmanliness.com/2011/02/02/les...cus-finch/

[Oldandeasilyconfused]

I have, with the help of another adult, recently realized that I am coming off as an arrogant prick on facebook.
Unfortunately, this does have a lot of truth to it.

I think the reason people don't talk to me much on FB is that they think I will bite their head off if they disagree with me or cannot adequately explain their beliefs.

Any advice on repairing my image?
Some older people's advice would be welcome.

OK,I'm an older person (I'm now 64) and am also more than a little arrogant a lot of the time,not to mention pompous and patronising.

I DO make an effort with the members here I like and respect. Not so much for people who irritate me,such as most apologists we get here.

Yes I have a Facebook account,on which I have about a dozen carefully selected friends,all off who accept me as I am,as I do them.


I have two criteria for Facebook friends;


(1) I must know the person in real life,and we need to like and respect each other.

OR

(2) I need to have had a lot of dealings with the person on line,and again there needs to be a certain amount of mutual liking and respect.

I do not link with complete strangers or just because we have a mutual friend.


A long preamble because in my opinion, you are not going to quickly or easily change your personality. Nor do I consider doing so to please others a good reason,

In real life,I've found a simple way is to become a good listener.Learn the skill of 'active listening '( look it up)

Simple tricks on line ;try to opine rather than starting with a declarative or dogmatic position.EG" In my opinion,I think, I feel,I believe". Followed by a reason if possible.



To me.evidence is not necessarily proof,the two terms are not synonymous..

In my opinion,winning an argument does not necessarily mean one is right.

I believe few things are worth heated arguments and flame wars are a waste of time.

Anyone becomes unpleasant on my Facebook account,they get deleted (has never happened so far)

Hope that helps a bit

[Faith No More]

Simple tricks on line ;try to opine rather than starting with a declarative or dogmatic position.EG" In my opinion,I think, I feel,I believe". Followed by a reason if possible.

This right here is the best advice so far. These simple little qualifiers can turn harsh statements into mere declarations of one's opinion.

[Lehrling]

---

OK,I'm an older person (I'm now 64) and am also more than a little arrogant a lot of the time,not to mention pompous and patronising.

I DO make an effort with the members here I like and respect. Not so much for people who irritate me,such as most apologists we get here.

Yes I have a Facebook account,on which I have about a dozen carefully selected friends,all off who accept me as I am,as I do them.


I have two criteria for Facebook friends;


(1) I must know the person in real life,and we need to like and respect each other.

OR

(2) I need to have had a lot of dealings with the person on line,and again there needs to be a certain amount of mutual liking and respect.

I do not link with complete strangers or just because we have a mutual friend.


A long preamble because in my opinion, you are not going to quickly or easily change your personality. Nor do I consider doing so to please others a good reason,

In real life,I've found a simple way is to become a good listener.Learn the skill of 'active listening '( look it up)

Simple tricks on line ;try to opine rather than starting with a declarative or dogmatic position.EG" In my opinion,I think, I feel,I believe". Followed by a reason if possible.



To me.evidence is not necessarily proof,the two terms are not synonymous..

---

In my opinion,winning an argument does not necessarily mean one is right.

I believe few things are worth heated arguments and flame wars are a waste of time.

Anyone becomes unpleasant on my Facebook account,they get deleted (has never happened so far)

Hope that helps a bit

Thank you very much.
I suppose the root of my problem is that I don't like "just opinions".
But now that I think about it, some of the most widely-accepted facts were stated as opinions. So perhaps I really need to exercise some politics in how I speak.

And don't get me wrong; I don't wish to change because I want to please other people, I want to change because I don't think that I am the kind of person that I would like. >.>

But thank you for the advice; coming from someone who is well past their biological "know-it-all" stage is an advantage to someone like me, who...well, isn't.