"Coming out as an atheist"

[gandreae]

Does anyone have suggestions of how to come out to my parents? Idk what to do and feel trapped when I have to go to church every sunday I'm home and also the worst part is I go to a religious affiliated school so I'm required to go to chapel twice a week. I guess freedom of religion doesn't exist in private school. Enough rambling. If anyone has any suggestions it would be really helpful, thanks so much.

[WWLD]

From what you've told me, I think you should tell your dad first if you think he will be more relaxed about it. Maybe you could wait a bit to tell your mom if your worried about her reaction. Hopefully your dad can back you up a bit, tell her that respect is important and all that, when you do tell her.

Other than that, there's really no other way but to come out and say it.

---

And welcome to the forums!

[Demonaura]

I never had to do this myself, I was lucky and my family is largely atheist (of the don't really care variety) and those that aren't are accepted. VERY lucky.

However from what I have seen honesty is important, you can't be afraid to be yourself. It may surprise your parents, and we cannot fault them for that.

I know a lot of people here can speak with more experience on this than me so I'll keep my advice to this: Remind them you are still their child. You still love them and you have not changed, you are not an evil person nor do you think they are. You simply do not beleive in god, whatever your reason.

That's it, you're still you and I hope that they can at least respect that. If they say they want to pray for you it's a good thing, it means they care because from their perspective they think they are helpingyou by doing that (even if we know they aren't, it's the intent).

[Giff]

I had a similar situation as Demonaura so I don't really know how your situation exactly are.

But I can imagine that it could be really tough. Anyhow otherwise I agree with the others here. It's just telling that you are an atheist and stand up for it. How they react isn't really up to you, that's there problem.

THis may easy for me to say that sits several miles away in anothers country. But what I've learned and what I know is that you should never be afraid of an argument or keep secrets about who you are.

One thing you could is telling someone besides you parents first, if you haven't done that allready, and that person perhaps can support you. That's a thing that could help alot I imagine.

[Kyuuketsuki]

Does anyone have suggestions of how to come out to my parents? Idk what to do and feel trapped when I have to go to church every sunday I'm home and also the worst part is I go to a religious affiliated school so I'm required to go to chapel twice a week. I guess freedom of religion doesn't exist in private school. Enough rambling. If anyone has any suggestions it would be really helpful, thanks so much.

I wish I could help you but even standing up to the teachers at Catholic School doesn't really equate (especially as I didn't consider myself atheist at that time, more a believer in gods as aliens so I suppose I was just weird) or even my father since I never specifically told him I didn't believe. What WWLD says sounds sensible (I gather you have talked at greater length with her) in that it would be better to get 1 person to understand and perhaps support you first.

All I can say is good luck and if you need answers to specific questions we'll do our best.

Kyu

[leo-rcc]

All I can say is good luck and if you need answers to specific questions we'll do our best.

My sentiments exactly. I was fortunate enough never to be in that situation so I cannot give any worthwhile advice on it, only moral support for what that is worth.

[athoughtfulman]

I grew up going to church, but eventually I stopped going about a year ago. It happened gradually I suppose, and at first, I was simply an agnostic - I didn't know what I believed. But now, I'm definitely an atheist. As far as my mum (by far the most fundamentalist) is concerned, she figured it out herself. Dad is happy for me to make my own mind up.

So I haven't had the same situation, but I think you just go ahead and do it. Like WWLD said, try talking to your dad first. And in the end, if either of them blow up/get angry/etc, stand your ground. Remember that it is more reasonable to think freely, and don't be afraid to have your own opinion.

[g-mark]

I never had to do this myself, I was lucky and my family is largely atheist (of the don't really care variety) and those that aren't are accepted. VERY lucky.

However from what I have seen honesty is important, you can't be afraid to be yourself. It may surprise your parents, and we cannot fault them for that.

I know a lot of people here can speak with more experience on this than me so I'll keep my advice to this: Remind them you are still their child. You still love them and you have not changed, you are not an evil person nor do you think they are. You simply do not beleive in god, whatever your reason.

That's it, you're still you and I hope that they can at least respect that.

Same