Whelp, make me feel good people

[breadbasketbomb]

I've considered becoming an atheist. I still am. Frankly who gives a shit because while I considered myself Christian, I did so because I was told to. I never spent much time thinking about it. So even if I am still Christian, what does it matter? I don't even practice the damn thing.

This is probably going to be my only post here. And frankly, I'm smart, but I'm irrational. I'm the guy on the bus constantly thinking to himself everyday, sometimes getting up to literally just pace. Though I'm also a very angry person. The long and short of it is that I have been diagnosed with Severe Depression years ago, and really there's many types of it. They're rarely seen sad because they only act that way when by themselves.  For me, I can only help but see the worst in people, everything really. Despite having reasonable grades, spending hours every night being self taught on the design of various Space Launch vehicles, I drew the short end of everyone's straw. I was called again an again, along the lines of stupid, incapable of higher thought, and a hamper to society's progress. And ironically, not by atheists. Pat yourselves on the back.

You see, I didn't have much to look up to other than being very fucking good at math and science. The only person I could ever call a friend was my physical science teacher. And even more funny enough, I had a very good comprehension towards science, including biology and as such evolution as a whole. Though it was never my interest, because I'm interested in things that take us away from life in general, called a rocket. In fact, I spent more time thinking about nuclear weapons that biology. Yet despite this, my college experience is anything but bearable. I've been shoved away from school for three weeks, only to have to make up those three weeks without any lecturing or help. I've been banned from study halls, tutoring centers and the library because I was very fucking angry. And I was arrested because I threatened a teacher who pretty much was as helpful as God.

My personal issue is that I have an obsession. Because of my failures in life, I've become insecure, and that's where the meat of depression gets in. There is in truth, allot of anger, allot of paranoia, and the inability to think rationally. And I have allot of that. I can only assume the worst of people, and I spend day and night thinking and imagining people gossiping and plotting against me. Wanting to humiliate me even further. Even though they showed no signs of that intent. And we know about the bad apples on all sides, including yours. I would eventually meet up with a very vocal atheist, one who probably decided to become one just for the sake of being smart or pissing others off. Okay, make that a few. And considering the events that already ensued, I am not willing to be nice to other atheists and anti theists.

To be very brief, I've come to hate atheists, and anti theists in general. Now, the amount of people willing to read on at this point could probably fit in a bath tub. I pretty much threatened allot of my friends for various reasons, but those who were anti theists or atheists received the worst of me at some point or another. I need to stop doing this and get on with my pathetic life.

Okay, so there you go. So, how about all of you tell me about how I'm going to become a terreests or sum stoopid shit lolololo!1111!!! Presumably so I can hate you more. And if you don't, I'll assume God exists.

You don't "become", you simply leave bad claims behind. I really wish humans would stop speaking in terms of any label as  "I am a"....... "atheist" is a position, it isn't your blood or DNA, it simply means you hold the "off" position on god claims.

Is there a good reason to hold the "off" position? Certainly, no evidence. But you don't become one like you become a club member at a country club. I would say educating yourself both in theists slick apologies and in science gives one a better view of why "off" is the credible position, but you don't "become" anything accept wise.

Do you think I actually care? That's not my problem

[Goosebump]

 And frankly, I'm smart, but I'm irrational. ... You see, I didn't have much to look up to other than being very fucking good at math and science. The only person I could ever call a friend was my physical science teacher. And even more funny enough, I had a very good comprehension towards science, including biology and as such evolution as a whole. Though it was never my interest, because I'm interested in things that take us away from life in general, called a rocket. In fact, I spent more time thinking about nuclear weapons that biology.

Well for starters you seem like a good candidate for /r/iamverysmart/

If your seriously depressed then you should see a professional, not a internet forum. But there have been some very good members here that have helped me understand depression:

http://atheistforums.org/thread-42407.html (is one)

My personal issue is that I have an obsession. Because of my failures in life, I've become insecure, and that's where the meat of depression gets in. There is in truth, allot of anger, allot of paranoia, and the inability to think rationally. And I have allot of that. I can only assume the worst of people, and I spend day and night thinking and imagining people gossiping and plotting against me.

Am I correct in assuming your "obsession" is the above in bold? If so then your paranoid and there is treatments for that.

To be very brief, I've come to hate atheists, and anti theists in general. ... I would eventually meet up with a very vocal atheist...

For no reason than you talked to one once? Your right, you are irrational.

Now, the amount of people willing to read on at this point could probably fit in a bath tub. I pretty much threatened allot of my friends for various reasons...

Well your a good canidate for /r/imsobadass. And you kinda condescended to the entire community when introducing yourself.

If you want attention the internet is the place to get it. If you want help you should really reach out and find it in the real world.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

That was a very interesting post, and if that is indeed going to be your only one, well...you've left me hanging. I can't speak for anyone else. 

I hope to see more from you. Maybe we can be of small help to clarify your thoughts with you.

Unfortunately as pessimistic as I am, I legitimately do not want to coerce people into hating me.

I've already decided to hate you by default, so no coercion necessary. Have a crap day.

Boru

[ignoramus]

Apart from all that depressing shit, tell us something fun about yourself?
Any hobbies? Sports teams?

[paulpablo]

Why do you actually hate atheists or anti theists?

[ignoramus]

I believe it may have something to do with labels and mattresses?

[Reforged]

I don't care. About anything you typed. Your anger, your depression, what you've been through, blah blah blah. I don't care. You're nobody to me.
The only difference between me and most people is that most people won't come out and say that. They'll humor you and then make a note to themselves never to talk to you again.
Anyway, I figure someone should put the truth in laymen terms; Learn to conceal your crazy like everyone else or become isolated and get crazier.
Have fun deciding which of those is a better fate.

[breadbasketbomb]

 And frankly, I'm smart, but I'm irrational. ... You see, I didn't have much to look up to other than being very fucking good at math and science. The only person I could ever call a friend was my physical science teacher. And even more funny enough, I had a very good comprehension towards science, including biology and as such evolution as a whole. Though it was never my interest, because I'm interested in things that take us away from life in general, called a rocket. In fact, I spent more time thinking about nuclear weapons that biology.

Well for starters you seem like a good candidate for /r/iamverysmart/

If your seriously depressed then you should see a professional, not a internet forum. But there have been some very good members here that have helped me understand depression:

http://atheistforums.org/thread-42407.html (is one)

My personal issue is that I have an obsession. Because of my failures in life, I've become insecure, and that's where the meat of depression gets in. There is in truth, allot of anger, allot of paranoia, and the inability to think rationally. And I have allot of that. I can only assume the worst of people, and I spend day and night thinking and imagining people gossiping and plotting against me.

Am I correct in assuming your "obsession" is the above in bold? If so then your paranoid and there is treatments for that.

To be very brief, I've come to hate atheists, and anti theists in general. ... I would eventually meet up with a very vocal atheist...

For no reason than you talked to one once? Your right, you are irrational.

Now, the amount of people willing to read on at this point could probably fit in a bath tub. I pretty much threatened allot of my friends for various reasons...

Well your a good canidate for /r/imsobadass. And you kinda condescended to the entire community when introducing yourself.

If you want attention the internet is the place to get it. If you want help you should really reach out and find it in the real world.

Okay, first off. I don't go to reddit. Second, I'm not boasting, there is nothing badass about being angry and threatening people, it's just annoying and a waste of time for either people on either end. Second, I'm not smart, I just listen to the god damned teacher. Smart people actually discover and validate various findings and such. Also, as for the conversation? You know, me meeting a very vocal person? Yeah, just because I don't get into the detail as to how we began a conversation doesn't mean I went up to the person and began debating for no reason.

So I can tell from here you have only and -only- the intent of mocking. And that's the thing, if your goal was to be condescending, you won. Pat yourself on the back. If you want to present atheists as reasonable people, then unfortunately, you failed miserably.

Of all the people who are here, only one guy actually gets it.

---

I don't care. About anything you typed. Your anger, your depression, what you've been through, blah blah blah. I don't care. You're nobody to me.
The only difference between me and most people is that most people won't come out and say that. They'll humor you and then make a note to themselves never to talk to you again.
Anyway, I figure someone should put the truth in laymen terms; Learn to conceal your crazy like everyone else or become isolated and get crazier.
Have fun deciding which of those is a better fate.

I'm not here asking for help on depression. I already no how to take care of that. The goal of this thread is to help me see atheists as impressionable and respectable people. I can see now that this attempt was a failure, albeit a very entertaining one. So far you and c172 (what's his name...) actually managed to have a certain understanding. This is quite a sad outcome really, because it proves that the goal of peacefully crossing fingers and hope the muslims simple convert is not going to happen, especially because of how they're interacting even towards those who consider abandoning their beliefs.

As for the isolation part? Yeah... you don't really know how depression works do you. Depressed people only act depressed when they are alone or without interaction. They do not deliberately avoid interaction or other people because the paranoia and emotions fade into the background. I meet as much people as any other person, but when trying to sleep or when left to their own thoughts, that can be where things go wrong. Depression is an unpleasant thought process, not the origin story of a stock character in a Shyamalan film.

---

Please don't let this be your only post.  I'm missing you already.  Oh, and that light fixture above your bed?  It's JUST a light fixture, I swear.  It isn't a camera at all, so there's one less thing to worry about.

Boru

No. The light fixture above my bed is a light fixture. It has a light bulb in it that turns on whenever I flip a switch near my doorway.

[ignoramus]

Ok, but why atheists? Did one give you a hard time and now you despise all of them? I don't get it?
Other than the fact that they have an of switch on the god belief, they're no different to anyone else, I would have thought.

[breadbasketbomb]

Ok, but why atheists? Did one give you a hard time and now you despise all of them? I don't get it?
Other than the fact that they have an of switch on the god belief, they're no different to anyone else, I would have thought.

Have you not read my post? Yes, I met a few bad apples, ones I obsessed over as my first impression of them. I was young, so I stuck to that impression for now on, and as the years went by I've only come to hate them more. I already said I assume the worst of everyone. Atheist are just higher up on the list because they're the go to for people who think being one will magically make them smarter.

And as for them being no different to anyone else? Have you not looked at this thread? I made this thread for the strict purpose of seeing atheists as respectable people. I came expecting someone to tell me that they do not judge people by their beliefs but actual actions. I would expect them to know why theists have trouble leaving behind their beliefs. I expect them to think of me as simply wrong about believing in a religion and more that I was wrong to think of them as arrogant posh wannabe scientists, and that was that.

What I instead received was the exact opposite. Instantly I became a laughing stock to these people, who are trying to put me off as an idiot. Many of these attempts are extremely contrived by the way. Not very funny, very gimmicky and just has "I'm an atheist therefore smarter" written all over it. It's quite laughable, but sad. Look at the first post, seriously. Light fixtures?

One of the posts here assumed that because I never stated the exact circumstances that I met the so called vocal atheist, that I'm extremely irrational. He thinks that because I never mentioned it, I was just waiting in the shadows ready to protest to him about how God hates fags. And when I mentioned the mere fact I can comprehend evolution, mathematics and what have you, he assumed that I'm arrogant.

In other words. I was right. Atheists are a bunch of posh, circle jerking fuckwits only in it so they can be condescending towards the genetically inferior redneck hicks that surround them. You can't throw shit at other people without getting shit all over your hand. And allot of people here, are unfortunately, covered in shit.