So, I complimented this girl today...

[Edwardo Piet]

I guess we disagree on this. I don't think that thinking someone is beautiful and being attracted to them physically is objectifying the person. It would become objectifying, in my opinion, if you then proceeded to gawk at them to get all lusty and start fantasizing about having sex with their body (considering you don't even know them). Because then you're seeing them as merely an object for your own gratification and not a person that has more to them than that. But simply thinking someone is beautiful and having physical attraction? I don't think that's objectifying, but I guess it's to each their own if it makes them feel uncomfortable or not. Personally I take it as a compliment lol.

What matters as far as the OP is concerned is how hitting on someone in absence of any other information besides personal appearance does in fact, stand to make some women feel as though they are being objectified. And how that may impact their responses to him.

Whether you or I feel it's actually objectification or not, is of no consequence in this matter.

You're so smart.

Great post.

[Athene]

Oh, I'm smart enough to get by. That's about it.

Thank you, though.

[Thumpalumpacus]

I guess we disagree on this. I don't think that thinking someone is beautiful and being attracted to them physically is objectifying the person. It would become objectifying, in my opinion, if you then proceeded to gawk at them to get all lusty and start fantasizing about having sex with their body (considering you don't even know them). Because then you're seeing them as merely an object for your own gratification and not a person that has more to them than that. But simply thinking someone is beautiful and having physical attraction? I don't think that's objectifying, but I guess it's to each their own if it makes them feel uncomfortable or not. Personally I take it as a compliment lol.

The way I'm reading it, making simple physical attraction the basis for desire and advances is what is at issue.

Asking a gal out because she's pretty is like buying a house because you like the way the yard looks. If you ask a gal out only because she's pretty and has a tight body, yeah, you're objectifying. And starting off with that sort of compliment runs the risk of setting that train of thought in motion, rightly or wrongly.

[brewer]

Personally I like the Rain Man pick up lines the best.

[Catholic_Lady]

I hope you are joking. You have a nice smile sounds cheesy AF lol.

Maybe but it's probably better than "I like your makeup".

I would agree with that lol

---

I guess we disagree on this. I don't think that thinking someone is beautiful and being attracted to them physically is objectifying the person. It would become objectifying, in my opinion, if you then proceeded to gawk at them to get all lusty and start fantasizing about having sex with their body (considering you don't even know them). Because then you're seeing them as merely an object for your own gratification and not a person that has more to them than that. But simply thinking someone is beautiful and having physical attraction? I don't think that's objectifying, but I guess it's to each their own if it makes them feel uncomfortable or not. Personally I take it as a compliment lol.

The way I'm reading it, making simple physical attraction the basis for desire and advances is what is at issue.

Asking a gal out because she's pretty is like buying a house because you like the way the yard looks. If you ask a gal out only because she's pretty and has a tight body, yeah, you're objectifying. And starting off with that sort of compliment runs the risk of setting that train of thought in motion, rightly or wrongly.

I wasn't talking about asking a stranger out right off the bat just because she's pretty. I'm talking about the first step - just going up to them or trying to start conversation of some sort. Wanting to know them better *because* of that initial physical attraction to see if there is more there. I really don't see why this is at all controversial. Maybe telling her "you're pretty" right off the bat is a bit strange, but I don't think that's objectifying someone, personally. But yeah, I guess there could be girls out there who would take offense to it or take it the wrong way, so better to hold off on that anyway.

[ErGingerbreadMandude]

If you can't find anything else to compliment a girl on other than her looks you're probably not compatible anyway. As a rule, the first compliment you give a bird shouldn't be about how pretty she is and you shouldn't do it consciously either it's supposed to come naturally 🤷

[Aegon]

Gotta compliment the smile

I hope you are joking. You have a nice smile sounds cheesy AF lol.

Alright well I've only ever actually approached one girl irl and it worked then. All my other, erm, romantic interactions were initiated through tinder. The pick up line game is very different there.

[Thumpalumpacus]

The way I'm reading it, making simple physical attraction the basis for desire and advances is what is at issue.

Asking a gal out because she's pretty is like buying a house because you like the way the yard looks. If you ask a gal out only because she's pretty and has a tight body, yeah, you're objectifying. And starting off with that sort of compliment runs the risk of setting that train of thought in motion, rightly or wrongly.

I wasn't talking about asking a stranger out right off the bat just because she's pretty. I'm talking about the first step - just going up to them or trying to start conversation of some sort. Wanting to know them better *because* of that initial physical attraction to see if there is more there. I really don't see why this is at all controversial. Maybe telling her "you're pretty" right off the bat is a bit strange, but I don't think that's objectifying someone, personally. But yeah, I guess there could be girls out there who would take offense to it or take it the wrong way, so better to hold off on that anyway.

We all get that physical attraction is part of overall attraction. It's part of my approach-decision as well. But making your first comment about someone a comment on their physical appearance does say something about how you see them, whether you like that or not.

I never ask a woman out the first time I meet her, ever, and it doesn't matter what she looks like. That's just me. Some guys do that, and I've picked up their tabs at 2:30 a.m. while they're trying to figure out who Ms Next is going to be.

Here's a question: what if you were blind? How would you decide at that point who might interest you as a potential lover?

[Edwardo Piet]

Oh, I'm smart enough to get by. That's about it.

Thank you, though.

Oh you're smart. Let's just say "No wonder you and Thump are great together."

Now I just gotta find myself a girl who's my level of intelligence. So as thick as pigshit basically

[ignoramus]

Yeah, but does she have to be a Christian?