Working on social skills this summer

[KichigaiNeko]

I love talking to people, but I always say the wrong thing.

Totally understand mate!! It can take decades to get the hang of "Diplomacy and Active Listening". At 23 you are WAY ahead of me at that age!!

Also, YOU are the most interesting person to watch...so watch yourself... you will lean HEAPS!! And become all the better for the observation.... aka an Active Listener.

[zentor]

Good advice.

Observed a huge issue with be today. Was in my game chilling with my female friend (I hope to go back to college in the fall and have a real life
Again over this virtual life)
And we kinda flirted then late we were doing missions and here's exactly
What I thought, maybe y'all can help analyze:

"gosh I wanna make a move! Want to flirt more! Will it be too much?
I have to say something romantic! What if I don't make a move in
Time and she finds someone else or friends zones me"

At Which she said to get something and I'm like "yes darling"
And she's like "don't call me that again"

Ouch

But it's all good, this summers dedicate to my getting better.

All I can say is I got too desperate. Gotta get to know a girl better.
Gotta be patient.

I am thinking from now on, I will just let them make the flirty comments
And respond positively, is that a good idea?

[NoMoreFaith]

Yes.

Women in online RPG games get men being inappropriate all the time, and 99% of the time you will just be considered yet another one. They are playing the game for the same reasons you are, to have a good time, make a few friends, but not as a dating agency.
Its not a conducive atmosphere for a relationship, the things you have in common tend to be too one dimensional. It's not the place to be looking for love.

Saying that, I met my wife online, playing online music quizzes in a chat room, but there was a lot more room for us to get to know each other, lots of long conversation etc (that came naturally, not feeling forced) in that instance outside of just the immediate interest of playing a game.

There's little advice that can be given, most of the time its condescending twaddle, other than you're not abnormal in this. Your ability to be self-reflective is a strong one, and will only be a positive influence on your life.

For my condescending twaddle, I will offer this; those who are going to be true friends, and those who are maybe going to be more than just friends; the conversation will come naturally. Most of the time you are awkward and feel like you said the wrong thing, is because you are trying to make something happen where it does not come naturally.
For some of us, and I count myself included; it seems you never meet anyone where it comes naturally.. but as long as you engage your interests honestly, you will meet people eventually where you no longer feel restricted by conforming to something you think they want you to be.
Considered from another angle, the awkwardness is rooted in trying to make an impression of someone you're not, which causes this disconnect between what you say, and retrospectively what you feel you should have said, because you are trying to fit yourself into an image of something that you feel the other person would be more attracted to; the reality is that if you have to consider what you say to such an extent that you regret everything you say, then you are trying too hard. If you are having to try too hard.. are you really sure its a good match?

[Polaris]

On saying something weird to someone who was religious, I can relate. I once was talking about one of the Jewish fights against the Romans and mentioned suicide as the result...apparently it was fine for my Jewish co-worker to be Reformed (ie not follow much of the OT), but when I mentioned suicide, he was not OK with it since it is a taboo concept for them.

You just need to find a community (it can be religious or it can be secular; you don't have to look for a religious group unless you want to do so) where you are away from the computer, interacting with people. I like hiking, so I joined a group that does that in my area. Find an interest where you can meet people face-to-face and pursue it.

Do you like any outdoor activities in particular?

[fuckass365]

You need to just be yourself and fuck everyone else man. If you come across as awkward to others, but comfortable to yourself then who gives a shit? When I was younger I had a hard time with "fitting in" and I could never think of anything to say outside of my circle of friends. I had social anxiety so bad that if I was going to Starbucks for example, but saw that it was really full, I'd just get back in my car and drive home. I felt like everyone was judging me constantly. I'm now 24 and I got over it a couple years back. You need to realize that you're nothing but a conscious mass of vibrating particles, like anyone else. You control your reality, people can be easily manipulated with words. It's a skill I recommend honing.

[kılıç_mehmet]

"Just be yourself" advice is really a bad advice. If I acted the same in front of girls as I did in front of guys, or how I act when I'm on my own, no girl would ever would want to speak with me(they would automatically assume I'm a poor, uneducated bydlo). I change between accents, and ways of acting when dealing with different groups of people.
I suggest you do the same.

[Epimethean]

It's only bad advice if you are a disingenuous asshole at your core.

[Reforged]

The only advice I could offer is to hang onto the things you know set you apart from the rest and feel proud of them. Don't apologize for being yourself or saying whats on your mind and take a stand for the things you feel strongly about. Some people won't like it, its not possible to be liked by everyone but sometimes its better to be respected than liked anyway.

[Aegrus]

"Just be yourself" advice is really a bad advice. If I acted the same in front of girls as I did in front of guys, or how I act when I'm on my own, no girl would ever would want to speak with me(they would automatically assume I'm a poor, uneducated bydlo). I change between accents, and ways of acting when dealing with different groups of people.
I suggest you do the same.

Usually I hate your advice, but I actually agree with this. For some people, being themself gets them no where. Ever.

[jackman]

dude, i think you're perfectly normal. i read everytime you post and i see tons of humor (and i'm always dying laughing at the jokes), like you're just sitting home playing a role to see who bites. even on this thread, you seem like you have it all together. you say stuff like you're desperate and then you say you sweet talk her. who are you foolin zentor? lol.