Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: March 29, 2024, 5:47 am

Thread Rating:
  • 1 Vote(s) - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
A Southern Baptist's Deconversion Revisited
#1
A Southern Baptist's Deconversion Revisited
Hi everyone.

I was born in a semi-rural area in Georgia in 1997 to a Southern Baptist family. Until age 7, I went to a Christian school before transferring to a local college prep school.

I went to church on a weekly basis (and still have to) as a kid. I was well versed in Christianity from a young age. When I was 7, I became "saved" because I overheard my mom talking about my younger sister wanting to be, so I wanted to be first.

When I got into Middle School, I was bullied occasionally my first semester, something I wasn't used to. I quickly conformed and became an asshole and bullied others for a while. Hiding this from my family, things got worse until I was suspended from school in 8th grade for cussing out a teacher. It shocked and devastated my parents, so I made the decision to truly dedicate my life to God in the last months of Middle School.

That summer, we changed churches to a really big, nationally known church here and I became very active and made friends with some guys at my school and other area schools. So I went into High School as an adamant Christian. I was young-earth and Arminian, and had debated once or twice online with some poorly educated atheists and lost, but not devastatingly. During that year, I watched myself go from being more controlled by religion than my friends to less. I had begun getting into politics and as my ideologies shifted from largely far right to slightly left, I began doubting my beliefs. As I became more educated in sciences, my beliefs began to be questioned more and more.

I remember sitting in physics March of my Freshman year one day and the reality that my beliefs contradicted scientific knowledge. Thus began two months of searching for truth.

By the time spring exams rolled around that year, I had finally stopped believing in God. I saw science and historical inconsistencies, so I stopped believing in god at this time.

I never opened up to my family out of fear of being kicked out of my house, so I went from being a very outgoing person to a very introspective one, and my doubts about God's lack of existence diminished drastically over the next few months as I kept digging, finding morally objectionable areas of scripture to further my argument against the existence of God.

I quickly became depressed by the time 10th Grade began, and in September and October, I couldn't bear the thought of coming out to everyone out of fear that I'd lose them all for my lack of belief (which is a legitimate concern to some extent). For two months I was suicidal and cried myself to sleep every night.

By November, I subconsciously began building a wall around myself to keep the reality of this being my only life from being detrimental to my mental stability. Things slowly got better until December of that year, when my parents finally sat me down and asked my why I wasn't active in church like before, etc. I finally had to tell them and spent hours talking with them that night about what happened.

They took it better than expected, granted they openly admit to a double standard in my and my sister's upbringing now. I'm open about my beliefs at school and no one was able to judge me for it because most of the smarter students at my school aren't adamantly religious or religious at all. Those who are wouldn't dream of arguing with me either, so I've been okay. I'm currently the student body's co-secretary and serve on multiple clubs and sports teams for my school. Not to brag, but I am one of the most intelligent students in my class (I asked the smartest girl in our grade to Homecoming by making a piece-wise function that spelled out "homecoming date" on a coordinate plane, hahaha). Things have gone better than expected for me since then, which pleases me. The journey was certainly a struggle, but I'm glad that chapter of my life is over and I no longer have to live in mental captivity and can evaluate anything quite objectively.
Reply
#2
RE: A Southern Baptist's Deconversion Revisited
Welcome! And congratulations Big Grin
"Every luxury has a deep price. Every indulgence, a cosmic cost. Each fiber of pleasure you experience causes equivalent pain somewhere else. This is the first law of emodynamics [sic]. Joy can be neither created nor destroyed. The balance of happiness is constant.

Fact: Every time you eat a bite of cake, someone gets horsewhipped.

Facter: Every time two people kiss, an orphanage collapses.

Factest: Every time a baby is born, an innocent animal is severely mocked for its physical appearance. Don't be a pleasure hog. Your every smile is a dagger. Happiness is murder.

Vote "yes" on Proposition 1321. Think of some kids. Some kids."
Reply



Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  from independant fundamentalist baptist in bible belt florida to antitheist android17ak47 15 3616 October 18, 2018 at 2:32 am
Last Post: Mr.Obvious
  Deconversion of a Preacher's Son Old Baby 2 1364 February 22, 2016 at 6:17 pm
Last Post: Old Baby
  My strange deconversion Excited Penguin 20 4383 July 8, 2015 at 7:36 am
Last Post: Excited Penguin
  My Deconversion Story PhilliptheTeenageAtheist 26 5281 June 2, 2015 at 11:58 pm
Last Post: SteelCurtain
  My Deconversion Story warlocksarebest 15 4501 November 20, 2014 at 11:06 pm
Last Post: Logical Adolecent
  My Deconversion ComradeMeow 2 1699 August 21, 2014 at 3:47 am
Last Post: ComradeMeow
  The deconversion of the preacher's kid christianatheist 11 3894 August 20, 2014 at 1:38 am
Last Post: JimmyM35
  not a recent deconversion xpastor 13 4675 September 30, 2013 at 10:49 pm
Last Post: Jackalope
  Deconversion gilbertc06 0 1157 September 22, 2013 at 2:57 am
Last Post: gilbertc06
  Push me over the edge ! (Deconversion!) Mzungu 16 7891 June 30, 2013 at 9:10 pm
Last Post: MikeTheInfidel



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)