(April 2, 2012 at 1:11 am)Cinjin Wrote: Whatever the case - it's ALWAYS (and I mean 100% of the time) the fault of the person in question and not (contrary to their own delusions) the rest of the entire world around them.
I disagree with that. But I also disagree with 'being yourself'. Well, I partially disagree with them anyway:
It's not always a person's fault that they've not got long-term friends. However, I do think asking the question 'what am I doing wrong?' is a good place to start. Or even better asking what's wrong with the situation, which doesn't make the implicit assumption that it MUST be their fault.
Still, as I said I disagree with the 'be yourself' sentiment. People are biology with experiences. The experiences you've had up until now make you who you are. There's not some ineffable 'you' to be found if you just search deep enough. Therefore, I suggest you 'become yourself' by changing yourself into who you want to be. I think there are good and bad ways of going about this - personally I let the question 'what will make me happy?' guide me. I'd advise against letting 'how can I fit in?' be your guide because fitting in doesn't necessarily make us happy.
