I posted a thread about my deconversion a while ago, but that was after I left the church. This is my experience with the catholic church alone.
My religious education in the catholic church started when I was about 4. I was taught by a nun along with a bunch of other preschoolers. One day she gave us coloring books with a picture of the thorn crown. She said that every time we do something wrong, we add one thorn to the crown and it really hurts Jesus, and he bleeds. That was my first experience with guilt and it never left me since.
In school I was taught by both nuns and priests. When I was 8, a nun told us this story of a girl who was selfish and didn't share her food and as punishment was stuck in hell, watching everybody eat and starving forever. You know. For kids.
One of the priests was an alright guy, except for his obsession with evil spirits. He told us stories about demons and the devil, and about haunted houses that had blood dripping down the walls at 3am. I was 11 then and it scared the shit out of me.
A person who had a huge impact on me was one nun. A sweet, fragile lady.... She loved telling us about exorcisms, showed us documentaries about satanic rituals, which described in detail how they brutally mutilated children and animals. You know. For kids!
It fucked me up. Couldn't sleep. I would wake up in the middle of the night for weeks and shake in fear of demons and hell.
Things didn't get better since then. I went through more indoctrination tactics and more threats of hell, from different priests and nuns.
They guilt trips they would make and the horrible things they told me left a mark. It fucked up my brain pretty badly, destroyed my self esteem. I've been struggling with horrible guilt since I can remember and it drove me to self harm and attempting suicide. Now I'm brainwashed, sexually repressed and miserable.
I hate catholicism. Not because I got shitty people, but because the church condones the way they taught and endorses what they taught. It's all about guilt and it makes me sick.
My biggest fear is that I'll never get over it.
My religious education in the catholic church started when I was about 4. I was taught by a nun along with a bunch of other preschoolers. One day she gave us coloring books with a picture of the thorn crown. She said that every time we do something wrong, we add one thorn to the crown and it really hurts Jesus, and he bleeds. That was my first experience with guilt and it never left me since.
In school I was taught by both nuns and priests. When I was 8, a nun told us this story of a girl who was selfish and didn't share her food and as punishment was stuck in hell, watching everybody eat and starving forever. You know. For kids.
One of the priests was an alright guy, except for his obsession with evil spirits. He told us stories about demons and the devil, and about haunted houses that had blood dripping down the walls at 3am. I was 11 then and it scared the shit out of me.
A person who had a huge impact on me was one nun. A sweet, fragile lady.... She loved telling us about exorcisms, showed us documentaries about satanic rituals, which described in detail how they brutally mutilated children and animals. You know. For kids!
It fucked me up. Couldn't sleep. I would wake up in the middle of the night for weeks and shake in fear of demons and hell.
Things didn't get better since then. I went through more indoctrination tactics and more threats of hell, from different priests and nuns.
They guilt trips they would make and the horrible things they told me left a mark. It fucked up my brain pretty badly, destroyed my self esteem. I've been struggling with horrible guilt since I can remember and it drove me to self harm and attempting suicide. Now I'm brainwashed, sexually repressed and miserable.
I hate catholicism. Not because I got shitty people, but because the church condones the way they taught and endorses what they taught. It's all about guilt and it makes me sick.
My biggest fear is that I'll never get over it.