Cameras, microphones and God

[robvalue]

I thought I'd bring back this thread, as I had an experience which gave me another insight into the mind of the theist. Or so it would seem.

I've been seeing a new therapist for several weeks now, and it's gone really well. Astoundingly well actually! I've learnt a lot about myself that I really didn't know. That in itself is remarkable to me. We seem to have really clicked, and she has been able to get me to analyse myself in different ways and see the problems in my thinking.

The thing is, I was convinced that my thinking regarding myself was sound, and that I have accepted my condition (chronic fatigue syndrome/ME) as much as I possibly could. In my second session, she basically told me that I haven't fully accepted my condition. She gave me reasoned evidence why, and pointed out errors in my thinking.

I didn't like it. I fought against it. I told her she was wrong. My mind was going mental trying to keep this new possibility out. I wasn't in a particular good way that day either, which didn't help. I left that session thinking that maybe she's not the right therapist for me, she was talking bollocks. I felt more low than usual, and was giving up hope that I could be helped.

Over the next few days, what she said started to sink in and I couldn't refute her logic. I realized my objections were emotional and automatic. I started analysing myself from scratch, without the presuppositions I had. I came to the same conclusion as her, I had not accepted my condition and my thinking was faulty. By the next time I saw her, I was actually happy (that is an extreme word for me to use about myself) and ever since then the therapy has gone incredibly well.

The point here is that I got a taste of what it's like for a mind to refuse to accept something, because it clashes with important preconceptions. It felt horrible, and it made me distort reality so that she was just dumb and what she said should be disregarded. She doesn't understand how things are. I know how things are. I think this may be what it's like when a religiously indoctrinated mind comes up against an atheist. My "indoctrination" here was mild, and self inflicted. Multiply that up into a lifetime of external indoctrination, and you've got one serious barrier to contend with.