I wanted to start a topic on Love, one of the more complex emotions and offer my take on love.
Love is more complex than we think. It is more precious than we think. It is more amazing than we think and maybe that is why it is becoming more increasingly rare. One of the most famous love stories in American literature is Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. This is a love story between a man called Mr. Darcy and a woman called Elizabeth. Darcy falls in love with Elizabeth and he doesn’t realize it. It is set back in the times when gentlemen were required, or at least expected, to be gentlemen. At one point he walks in to a room and finds himself alone with this woman. Protocol demands that he leave, he cannot be alone unsupervised with another woman in the same room. So he turns and he gets half-way out the door and as he’s half-way out the door, he stops. He turns around and reenters the room and he says, “It will not do. My feelings cannot be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how much I ardently admire and love you.” Gentlemen, listen carefully, that line is a winner. Having made this declaration of love, he goes on to explain that he loves her even though it goes against his will, his reason and against his own better character. She rejects that declaration of love and refuses it. Because he is a man, he cannot understand why so he asks for explanation. She looks at him and says, “You told me that you loved me even though it went against your will, your reason and against your own better character.” In other words she is saying, “You told me you loved me even though it went against all better judgment”. True love does not exist in the absence of judgment, true love only exists in the presence of it. The words “I love you” are meaningful to you only if the person who speaks them truly knows you.
I can promise you right now, if no one knows the real you in all your weaknesses, shortcomings, failings or the darker side of your character, if nobody knows that, even if you are one of the most popular people at work, school or church, I can guarantee that you are desperately lonely. If there are few people in this world who do know you with all your weaknesses, shortcomings and failings and they love you, those are the most meaningful relationships you have. When anything good happens or when anything bad happens, they are the first people you call to share it with. Because that is what love is, love does not exist in the absence of judgment, love only exists in the presence of it.
Love is more complex than we think. It is more precious than we think. It is more amazing than we think and maybe that is why it is becoming more increasingly rare. One of the most famous love stories in American literature is Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. This is a love story between a man called Mr. Darcy and a woman called Elizabeth. Darcy falls in love with Elizabeth and he doesn’t realize it. It is set back in the times when gentlemen were required, or at least expected, to be gentlemen. At one point he walks in to a room and finds himself alone with this woman. Protocol demands that he leave, he cannot be alone unsupervised with another woman in the same room. So he turns and he gets half-way out the door and as he’s half-way out the door, he stops. He turns around and reenters the room and he says, “It will not do. My feelings cannot be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how much I ardently admire and love you.” Gentlemen, listen carefully, that line is a winner. Having made this declaration of love, he goes on to explain that he loves her even though it goes against his will, his reason and against his own better character. She rejects that declaration of love and refuses it. Because he is a man, he cannot understand why so he asks for explanation. She looks at him and says, “You told me that you loved me even though it went against your will, your reason and against your own better character.” In other words she is saying, “You told me you loved me even though it went against all better judgment”. True love does not exist in the absence of judgment, true love only exists in the presence of it. The words “I love you” are meaningful to you only if the person who speaks them truly knows you.
I can promise you right now, if no one knows the real you in all your weaknesses, shortcomings, failings or the darker side of your character, if nobody knows that, even if you are one of the most popular people at work, school or church, I can guarantee that you are desperately lonely. If there are few people in this world who do know you with all your weaknesses, shortcomings and failings and they love you, those are the most meaningful relationships you have. When anything good happens or when anything bad happens, they are the first people you call to share it with. Because that is what love is, love does not exist in the absence of judgment, love only exists in the presence of it.
We are not made happy by what we acquire but by what we appreciate.
