Really, can you pitch ideas for those Christian movies produced by Pure Flix and similar Christian movie companies?
Idea: a woman who is an "anti abortion" activist, gets in the abortion clinic just as a doctor is about to perform the procedure on a woman who has her legs stretched wide and she grabs that woman's vagina in the last moment that the doctor drills her hand a bit. Anyway, she is holding this woman's vagina and won't let go for two months until it becomes illegal for this woman to abort and they get to know each other and become friends. In the sequel they both grab a vagina.
Idea: Jewish boy dies for three hours and meets Jesus in heaven. Then he comes back to life and converts to Christianity. Needless to say his family turns against him but he persuades them to convert as well. As each of the members of the family gets converted to Christianity he/ she gets healed from cancer, depression, AIDS and other ailments that plague only the non Christians.
Idea: Christians take a baby from a Jewish family and raise it as a Christian, but then secularists find out and put Christian couple on trial for kidnapping. During the trial, and in spite the fact that persecutor is an atheist who has the body language of a devil, jurors and the public realize that Christians didn't do anything wrong, but that by exposing the baby to Jesus and Sunday school they saved it and offered it much better (moral) life, not to mention saved it from Hell.
# A prayer group of soccer moms discovers that their prayers really heal people, but it's the doctors in hospitals that make them sick and ultimately kill them. So they have to convince people that they must stop going to the doctors, that medicine doesn't work but that they need to pray and have faith in Jesus and he will heal them.
# group of Christians in a small town discover that, indeed, it is the storks who bring babies and that satan fooled people, through pornography, that babies come from sex so that they would mock God by showing their nude bodies to other person and, even worse, rub each other's unmentionables.
And it's not just the porn industry that is involved, but fashion industry as well: by involving women into the first of the seven deadly sins -- the pride -- so that when women get fat they invent the lie that they're pregnant instead of admitting they're fat, and wait for the stork to bring the baby.
Which all also brings people closer to Biblical "truths" as it makes more sense that a virgin could conceive and give birth.
# movie that portrays inquisition as a good thing because those witches and warlocks really existed. In the main focus is a present day older woman who tells her grandchildren how there are no witches to eat them because they were killed off centuries ago, but it is the secularists who insist it was a crime. Then she tells them a story about the last witch that may have escaped by barricading herself in a stone tomb (to escape later) because secularists didn't allow witch hunters to kill her, as Bible commands. Kids find the hidden tomb and discover that she was smashed to death, after all, with a big massive sharpened crucifix.
# the exorcism squad in Iraq that is going around and healing muslims from Islam into healthy Christianity and therefore making them peaceful, which then grows into full blown trilogy of movies where angels fight on the side of the American soldiers against Muslim forces and demons who fight on their side.
The first movie ends with a US army general finding Garden of Eden and getting a flaming sword from the angel guarding it there and then slaughtering myriads of heavily armed muslims before being taken to heaven himself.
The second movie is the one where Muslims from all over the world (like Pakistan and Turkey) unite to fight in Middle East against the followers of Jesus.
The third movie ends with coming of Jesus in Iraq, in what looks like his big second coming, but is actually to establish new sacred Christian nation in Iraq with all Muslims in the world converting to Christianity.
Idea: a woman who is an "anti abortion" activist, gets in the abortion clinic just as a doctor is about to perform the procedure on a woman who has her legs stretched wide and she grabs that woman's vagina in the last moment that the doctor drills her hand a bit. Anyway, she is holding this woman's vagina and won't let go for two months until it becomes illegal for this woman to abort and they get to know each other and become friends. In the sequel they both grab a vagina.
Idea: Jewish boy dies for three hours and meets Jesus in heaven. Then he comes back to life and converts to Christianity. Needless to say his family turns against him but he persuades them to convert as well. As each of the members of the family gets converted to Christianity he/ she gets healed from cancer, depression, AIDS and other ailments that plague only the non Christians.
Idea: Christians take a baby from a Jewish family and raise it as a Christian, but then secularists find out and put Christian couple on trial for kidnapping. During the trial, and in spite the fact that persecutor is an atheist who has the body language of a devil, jurors and the public realize that Christians didn't do anything wrong, but that by exposing the baby to Jesus and Sunday school they saved it and offered it much better (moral) life, not to mention saved it from Hell.
# A prayer group of soccer moms discovers that their prayers really heal people, but it's the doctors in hospitals that make them sick and ultimately kill them. So they have to convince people that they must stop going to the doctors, that medicine doesn't work but that they need to pray and have faith in Jesus and he will heal them.
# group of Christians in a small town discover that, indeed, it is the storks who bring babies and that satan fooled people, through pornography, that babies come from sex so that they would mock God by showing their nude bodies to other person and, even worse, rub each other's unmentionables.
And it's not just the porn industry that is involved, but fashion industry as well: by involving women into the first of the seven deadly sins -- the pride -- so that when women get fat they invent the lie that they're pregnant instead of admitting they're fat, and wait for the stork to bring the baby.
Which all also brings people closer to Biblical "truths" as it makes more sense that a virgin could conceive and give birth.
# movie that portrays inquisition as a good thing because those witches and warlocks really existed. In the main focus is a present day older woman who tells her grandchildren how there are no witches to eat them because they were killed off centuries ago, but it is the secularists who insist it was a crime. Then she tells them a story about the last witch that may have escaped by barricading herself in a stone tomb (to escape later) because secularists didn't allow witch hunters to kill her, as Bible commands. Kids find the hidden tomb and discover that she was smashed to death, after all, with a big massive sharpened crucifix.
# the exorcism squad in Iraq that is going around and healing muslims from Islam into healthy Christianity and therefore making them peaceful, which then grows into full blown trilogy of movies where angels fight on the side of the American soldiers against Muslim forces and demons who fight on their side.
The first movie ends with a US army general finding Garden of Eden and getting a flaming sword from the angel guarding it there and then slaughtering myriads of heavily armed muslims before being taken to heaven himself.
The second movie is the one where Muslims from all over the world (like Pakistan and Turkey) unite to fight in Middle East against the followers of Jesus.
The third movie ends with coming of Jesus in Iraq, in what looks like his big second coming, but is actually to establish new sacred Christian nation in Iraq with all Muslims in the world converting to Christianity.
