That is a great essay about your journey! I wish you the best.
I have gone from Evangelical Christian to mainstream Christian to atheist. I consider the early Evangelical part to be insanity, and the mainstream part to be emotion-sustained cognitive dissonance.
Only by letting go of all gods do I feel like I am being intellectually honest with myself. Emotionally and spiritually, atheism has also been a plus. It is hard to grow when part of you knows that your beliefs are lies.
I have gone from Evangelical Christian to mainstream Christian to atheist. I consider the early Evangelical part to be insanity, and the mainstream part to be emotion-sustained cognitive dissonance.
Only by letting go of all gods do I feel like I am being intellectually honest with myself. Emotionally and spiritually, atheism has also been a plus. It is hard to grow when part of you knows that your beliefs are lies.