How I am today:
Very bad. On Wednesday I went to visit my close friend Shell as usual - I've spent a lot of time the last few months helping her with various issues and have been staying with her more times than I've been at home. Long story but I was feeling very depressed and was getting slowly but surely hammered on vodka. It turns out I'm actually a placid drunk, I just sit there like a rag doll.
Anyway we were out at her ex's place at the time. He popped out to sort things out with some other friend of his who'd knacked his telly and left us two alone. All I remember is she was needling me about being drunk, then she made some remarks about Sam which I found hurtful and offensive; particularly as she knows full well it's my most powerful button. I exploded and shouted at her to shut her mouth, that she'd got no right even to say Sam's name. I know, I over-reacted massively. Yes I was drunk but that's not the reason; I think I was caught off guard with my shields down and the alcohol probably made it easier to retaliate. Then I stormed out because I genuinely hate confrontation; it can really upset me.
Next thing, I get a few calls basically echoing the point and how I was behaving badly, then I get a text from the ex threatening me with the police if I didn't go back and pay for the telly I had apparently broken. I pointed out it was nothing to do with me and they knew that, then I get several messages from him calling me a "freak" and threatening violence for my allegedly threatening Shell; which I have never ever done nor would dream of doing, even drunk as I was. Oh and apparently I can't keep using Sam's death as an excuse to behave "like a complete and utter prick" (interesting, since it would never even have come up if Shell hadn't raised it in the first place) and I'm a "Fukin tossa" who's "trud on thin ice and cracked it and now you gotto be responsible for your actions".
The upshot is that now I'm left here on my own without the closest remaining friend I had in the world. And yes I'm on the vodka again - who cares? Who can I possibly hurt, apart from me and that's the idea?
Sorry for bringing the thread down again. Just pay me no mind.
Very bad. On Wednesday I went to visit my close friend Shell as usual - I've spent a lot of time the last few months helping her with various issues and have been staying with her more times than I've been at home. Long story but I was feeling very depressed and was getting slowly but surely hammered on vodka. It turns out I'm actually a placid drunk, I just sit there like a rag doll.
Anyway we were out at her ex's place at the time. He popped out to sort things out with some other friend of his who'd knacked his telly and left us two alone. All I remember is she was needling me about being drunk, then she made some remarks about Sam which I found hurtful and offensive; particularly as she knows full well it's my most powerful button. I exploded and shouted at her to shut her mouth, that she'd got no right even to say Sam's name. I know, I over-reacted massively. Yes I was drunk but that's not the reason; I think I was caught off guard with my shields down and the alcohol probably made it easier to retaliate. Then I stormed out because I genuinely hate confrontation; it can really upset me.
Next thing, I get a few calls basically echoing the point and how I was behaving badly, then I get a text from the ex threatening me with the police if I didn't go back and pay for the telly I had apparently broken. I pointed out it was nothing to do with me and they knew that, then I get several messages from him calling me a "freak" and threatening violence for my allegedly threatening Shell; which I have never ever done nor would dream of doing, even drunk as I was. Oh and apparently I can't keep using Sam's death as an excuse to behave "like a complete and utter prick" (interesting, since it would never even have come up if Shell hadn't raised it in the first place) and I'm a "Fukin tossa" who's "trud on thin ice and cracked it and now you gotto be responsible for your actions".
The upshot is that now I'm left here on my own without the closest remaining friend I had in the world. And yes I'm on the vodka again - who cares? Who can I possibly hurt, apart from me and that's the idea?
Sorry for bringing the thread down again. Just pay me no mind.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
