(May 22, 2016 at 2:15 am)robvalue Wrote: Sadly... my life feels mostly like I'm dead already, and I'm dragging myself from one task to the next. But I live the dead life for the few moments when I feel alive, and hopefully to make a difference for the better to people. I'm trying to generate more of these moments.
It's been that way since ME and depression got through kicking my ass and tearing down my life. Poor Emma only knew the healthy me for a year or so and she's had the dead me for getting on 9 years now. I won't let them win, I will keep on dragging myself along, and maybe one day I will actually come back to life. It could happen. And my friends and loved ones are too precious to ever leave behind, no matter how I feel. You guys here are a huge part of that, so you keep me anchored
I can relate. Kitty first met and fell in love with manic me, stayed by me during a deep depressed phase, through a couple of years of serious physical illness as well as mental illness. It's like she's never really had a chance to know a healthy, authentic me.
I can't possibly know what your struggles are like but I know what mine feel like, and I know what it feels like to not have a lot reason to hope things will change.
All we can do is hang in there and do what we can.