I love snuggling. I always try to maintain some degree of body contact with my love the whole night.
I'm feeling like the cocktail of tramadol, anti-convulsants, anti-inflammatories, a sedative and weed will put me to sleep. Not holding my breath though. Hurts so bad I can't think of much else.
Thing is, I find with chronic pain second guessing myself (come on, CD. Don't be a wimp, how bad could it be?). Bad enough to deny me sleep, and I'm prone to bad mood swings and eventually psychosis when that happens. Nobody in a position to do anything about it appears to give a fuck. I know that last part isn't true - they're bound by policy - but it *feels* that way. The individual providers, doctors, nurses, and assistants have all been warm, compassionate people. But policy is affecting my health. I don't know any more about my condition that when I started seeking treatment again six months ago. I know a little more about what it's not. It's all frustrating.
I know I've been venting on this a lot the last few days but I'm just at wits end.
I'm feeling like the cocktail of tramadol, anti-convulsants, anti-inflammatories, a sedative and weed will put me to sleep. Not holding my breath though. Hurts so bad I can't think of much else.
Thing is, I find with chronic pain second guessing myself (come on, CD. Don't be a wimp, how bad could it be?). Bad enough to deny me sleep, and I'm prone to bad mood swings and eventually psychosis when that happens. Nobody in a position to do anything about it appears to give a fuck. I know that last part isn't true - they're bound by policy - but it *feels* that way. The individual providers, doctors, nurses, and assistants have all been warm, compassionate people. But policy is affecting my health. I don't know any more about my condition that when I started seeking treatment again six months ago. I know a little more about what it's not. It's all frustrating.
I know I've been venting on this a lot the last few days but I'm just at wits end.