CIJS, I don't respond well to passive aggressiveness. I did what I did for a reason, and I thought our relationship was trusting enough for you not to act like a turd. At least, not without you addressing it with me first. If you had, you'd have found out what my plans were - plans I don't fucking have to clear with you first. Instead, you attempted to make me look like a complete asshole and I was also attacked via messenger when I was completely worn out and vulnerable and I'm being blamed for being defensive there too.
The sad thing is, you had a few legit complaints about my behavior over the past couple weeks. There's nothing I can do to make up for it. I'm in a hard spot, and I've been lazy about many things because of it. But no, you had to pick on this. Now I just don't care. I don't need this kind of drama in my life, and while I hate possibly writing people off who I really cared about, I don't want to deal with someone who is incapable of expressing their feelings about me and then expecting me to be psychic about it, then punishing me when I'm not. Because that's really what it boils down to. Your feelings got hurt.
Also, if you really did think I'm so shallow as to formulate my plans because of some good-looking guy and hurt you in the process, you can fuck right off. First of all, you don't own me. Second of all, you ought to think better of me by now. I take my responsibilities so seriously it's fucked up other relationships - did you really think I'd neglect them and you over this particular guy?
I was so upset I acted like a complete asshole to one of the people I cherish most, and thank goodness he's better than that because he forgave me and apologized to me, even though it was me who owed him the apology. Because I'm an adult, I understand that my reactions and behavior are my own, and I'd have had no one but myself to blame if I had pushed this cherished person away, but I'd have still blamed you in some small way for being butthurt about inconsequential bullshit and sending me into an angry anxiety loop.
The sad thing is, you had a few legit complaints about my behavior over the past couple weeks. There's nothing I can do to make up for it. I'm in a hard spot, and I've been lazy about many things because of it. But no, you had to pick on this. Now I just don't care. I don't need this kind of drama in my life, and while I hate possibly writing people off who I really cared about, I don't want to deal with someone who is incapable of expressing their feelings about me and then expecting me to be psychic about it, then punishing me when I'm not. Because that's really what it boils down to. Your feelings got hurt.
Also, if you really did think I'm so shallow as to formulate my plans because of some good-looking guy and hurt you in the process, you can fuck right off. First of all, you don't own me. Second of all, you ought to think better of me by now. I take my responsibilities so seriously it's fucked up other relationships - did you really think I'd neglect them and you over this particular guy?
I was so upset I acted like a complete asshole to one of the people I cherish most, and thank goodness he's better than that because he forgave me and apologized to me, even though it was me who owed him the apology. Because I'm an adult, I understand that my reactions and behavior are my own, and I'd have had no one but myself to blame if I had pushed this cherished person away, but I'd have still blamed you in some small way for being butthurt about inconsequential bullshit and sending me into an angry anxiety loop.
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