RE: Can I just say, and I'm just being honest...
September 7, 2016 at 6:38 pm
(This post was last modified: September 7, 2016 at 8:07 pm by Edwardo Piet.)
CIJS: My story--
I think lowly enough of myself to not presume that others know I mean things in the nicest way possible all the time. People like me. I make friends. When I get to know those friends it gets to the point where they know I never mean anything in a bad way. Then I take it too far. I assume they always know I mean things in the nicest way. But after inevitable difficulties that all friendships have, they eventually stop seeing me so perfectly as they came to. Then I'm stuck in a habit of presuming too much. In presuming that they know I mean everything in the nicest way. Then after distance maybe I will return to politeness.
It's like... when you're really close to someone and they know you.... you can say anything and they know you mean well. As long as you don't do direct insults they know you're saying what you say with good intentions... but once you lose that it's hard to turn it off. It's hard to go back to being all politey politey and social conventionally. It's hard to not feel like you can express unpleasant irrational feelings and thoughts and you will be understood. It's hard to go back to having to be super polite.
It's hard to believe that the person doesn't trust you or know you always mean well and not get upset once you have come to believe that they do trust and know you for so long.
It goes from feeling like you can say anything you want and it will be understood to feeling like everything you say is misunderstood.
After thinking lowly of yourself and being humble you feel loved and trusted and respected and it teaches you to love yourself and feel proud. It teaches you to presume everyone who feels good about you knows you mean everything in the best way. And then you feel perplexed when they don't anymore.
That's my story and that's the way I see it.
/vent
I think lowly enough of myself to not presume that others know I mean things in the nicest way possible all the time. People like me. I make friends. When I get to know those friends it gets to the point where they know I never mean anything in a bad way. Then I take it too far. I assume they always know I mean things in the nicest way. But after inevitable difficulties that all friendships have, they eventually stop seeing me so perfectly as they came to. Then I'm stuck in a habit of presuming too much. In presuming that they know I mean everything in the nicest way. Then after distance maybe I will return to politeness.
It's like... when you're really close to someone and they know you.... you can say anything and they know you mean well. As long as you don't do direct insults they know you're saying what you say with good intentions... but once you lose that it's hard to turn it off. It's hard to go back to being all politey politey and social conventionally. It's hard to not feel like you can express unpleasant irrational feelings and thoughts and you will be understood. It's hard to go back to having to be super polite.
It's hard to believe that the person doesn't trust you or know you always mean well and not get upset once you have come to believe that they do trust and know you for so long.
It goes from feeling like you can say anything you want and it will be understood to feeling like everything you say is misunderstood.
After thinking lowly of yourself and being humble you feel loved and trusted and respected and it teaches you to love yourself and feel proud. It teaches you to presume everyone who feels good about you knows you mean everything in the best way. And then you feel perplexed when they don't anymore.
That's my story and that's the way I see it.
/vent
