(September 23, 2016 at 8:12 pm)Mamacita Wrote: CIJS...
And just shut up and let me do the talking.
I DO understand that you mean it. I DO understand that you feel the way you say you do. I get it. I heard you. I DO believe you. I know you're sincere. I know you're in pain. I see it all. I NEED YOU to understand ME. Understand that I need you to go on in your life without me. We are toxic to each other. The way you love me, though honest and sincere, hurts me! Can you TRY to understand that? Understand that while you mean it when you say you love me, it's killing me because I end up feeling guilty for not loving you, and then I spend my time trying to make you feel better, then you start being your usual self, and it's a VICIOUS cycle. I can't fucking do it yet again! Stop it! It's been sooooo long! Please get over it. Please. I've moved on. Stop knocking on my door. Stop calling me. Stop messaging me. Stop messaging my family. WHY mortify them, too? I know you don't see it, but you're being manipulative. You're not doing it intentionally, probably, but that's what you do. I can't feel responsible for you the rest of my life. You're torturing my mind! I feel like I'll explode right now! Stop calling me at work! I need my job! Dammit! Let me fucking sleep! Don't call! Look... I know you do love me. I believe you. Listen... when you love someone, you want them to be happy. You're making me miserable. Please. Stop. Also... you keep telling me to validate your pain. I do. Validate mine. Let's just erase each other as much as possible from our worlds. It's for the best. The fact that you love me does not entitle you to have me. It's been years of knowing this. How much longer? I can't survive.
Gawd. Ok. Now to say this IRL.
Whoever it is, I hope they listen, hon. Relationships like that ... they're like two black holes orbiting one another, and it's only a matter of time before everything in the area is destroyed.