CIJS...
Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Keep trying.
It's been years of this, but I'm almost there. Right? I can almost feel it. Almost touch it. This time it will be mine. I can almost breathe it. I can almost breathe the freshness of... being happy. It's at the tip of my fingers, but then... you can't have it. You don't want me to be happy. You find ways to take it from me (as is your habit) and you do it with spite, coldness, passion. 2011. 2012. 2013. 2014. All of 2015. All of 2016. I can't keep doing this. I just want to sleep. I'm so done trying to be strong. I'm finished thinking I can find happiness. I can't. I won't. Happy? Get some sleep. Stop knocking on my door. You haven't slept in days trying to see how many other ways you can find to hurt me. I won't even fight it anymore. Let me melt away. I have nothing left. No health. No strength. No ambition. No dreams. No fucken motivation. I'm dead in life. My shaking hands... they're stiff now. I don't even feel human. I don't feel alive. I'm walking around like frozen flesh just lost and ready to collapse. Let me collapse. I don't even feel like I belong here anyway. Go on. Enjoy. Ruin this one, too. I don't care. I want nothing. I want nothing.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Keep trying.
It's been years of this, but I'm almost there. Right? I can almost feel it. Almost touch it. This time it will be mine. I can almost breathe it. I can almost breathe the freshness of... being happy. It's at the tip of my fingers, but then... you can't have it. You don't want me to be happy. You find ways to take it from me (as is your habit) and you do it with spite, coldness, passion. 2011. 2012. 2013. 2014. All of 2015. All of 2016. I can't keep doing this. I just want to sleep. I'm so done trying to be strong. I'm finished thinking I can find happiness. I can't. I won't. Happy? Get some sleep. Stop knocking on my door. You haven't slept in days trying to see how many other ways you can find to hurt me. I won't even fight it anymore. Let me melt away. I have nothing left. No health. No strength. No ambition. No dreams. No fucken motivation. I'm dead in life. My shaking hands... they're stiff now. I don't even feel human. I don't feel alive. I'm walking around like frozen flesh just lost and ready to collapse. Let me collapse. I don't even feel like I belong here anyway. Go on. Enjoy. Ruin this one, too. I don't care. I want nothing. I want nothing.
"Hipster is what happens when young hot people do what old ladies do." -Exian