Can I just say, and I'm just being honest...

[Edwardo Piet]

I have no control over how you choose to take things.

I know. I don't expect you to.

Tone and inflection are impossible to see in written word unless they are accompanied by a myriad of emoticons. I go by what I have seen.

I know.

If you want to be all hurt because I said the truth about what I have seen, I can't help you.

I don't want to be hurt. I am hurt. I'm entitled to that. I'm being honest about it. It's a normal human emotion that is healthy for me to honestly express. I know you can't help me, I don't expect you to help me, I don't want you to help me and I don't need you to help me.

I'm entitled to my opinions here too, like em or leave em.

I know. I said you're entitled to it. I am glad you're expressing them. I don't have to react with positive emotion for me to want you to be honest about them. I'm reacting with honest emotion and there's nothing wrong with feeling honestly hurt.

I'm not going to get into it with you because I stated an observation.

I know. I don't expect you to.

If you didn't want your own comings and goings commented on, perhaps you should have not commented on someone else's.

I do want them honesty commented on. I'm glad you've been honest.

I mean, you have the right to say as you wish

I do.

but don't get all hurt

I'm entitled to honestly express my hurt. Or do you not want my honesty?

when your own skeletons fall out and are brought up by someone who sees where you are guilty of doing the same things.

As Shell B said, there's nothing wrong with leaving repeatedly so there's nothing to be guilty about. This is about honesty and sincerity. I believe personally that EP was insincere about it, whereas I am not.

Whether or not you meant to stay away or what your reasons were, isn't the issue. The fact that you commented on EP's leaving half a dozen times, when you are guilty of doing the same thing, IS the point.

No because my point was that EP has been insincere in his leaving, in my opinion, and you compared me to him. When I said the difference is I'm sincere you said that it's hard to take either of us seriously.

You're entitled to that. I'm glad you've been honest about it. Am I allowed to be honestly hurt by it or do you have a problem with that? Am I not entitled to my own sincere feelings of hurt?

Then perhaps you should speak to your therapist about it.

Honestly expressing my hurt to someone who I thought was my friend and thought knew me better after they called me insincere is NOT something to see my therapist about. In fact it's the OPPOSITE. Being completely honest in my expression of my feelings is HEALTHY. If I instead pretended to not be hurt by what you said that would be more something to speak to my therapist about.

People are not going to walk around on eggshells to protect the feelings of others.

I don't want anyone to. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying I want people to be honest with me and I'm glad you are being. Read my posts: I say you're entitled to your opinion and I'm glad you're being honest with me. I honestly mean that.

Would you rather I had walked around on eggshells rather than expressing my hurt honestly to you? Too bad, it's not against the rules of AF for me to honestly express my hurt feelings to you and because I thought you were my friend and because I have been a friend to you I'm going to tell you honestly that you've hurt me and I feel like I've lost my friendship. I'm honest with people.

You're in an adult world.

I know.

You can either go around acting like a child who was just scolded or you can say "meh" and move on.

I'm not acting like a child who was scolded. There's nothing to be scolded about, I've done nothing wrong, neither of us have: we've both been honest and you're entitled to your opinion that I'm insincere and I'm entitled to my hurt about it. I'm behaving like the adult I am by being honest about it. I've done the adult thing. I've done the healthy thing. I've done the healthy adult thing. I've honestly expressed my feelings of hurt rather than pretending not to have them. I can handle your honesty and I'm handling it with my own honest response about why it hurts me and why I feel like I've lost a friend. Can you handle the honest expression of my feelings? I'm sure you can, you're in the adult world just like I am.

I'm over it now so let's leave it at that. Thank you for being honest. I'm glad that you were. I hope you are also glad that I was too rather than pretending not to be hurt.

Bottom line Evie is this: if you're going to pick apart someone else's faults,

The fault that I was addressing was my own opinion that EP is not sincere. I have no such fault.

don't act all hurt when it's done to you.

Don't tell me not to express my hurt. I'm not "acting" hurt, I am hurt. I'm entitled to that hurt, and it's my hurt not yours. And, again, it's healthy and adult for me to honestly express it: I'm comfortable with my emotions and it's healthy for me to be that way.

I feel that I have lost a friend so I'm done here. I certainly can't feel the same way about you when I thought you knew me so much better and thought so much more of me than thinking of me as an insincere hypocrite. I am hurt but I'll get over it. I guess I thought we were closer than we were.