(November 25, 2016 at 2:39 am)Crossless1 Wrote: CIJS, clarity can be a bitch, and I know you aren't on the same page as me right now. But you have to understand -- really get it in your head -- that from now on there will be predictable consequences when you decide to party in my presence and then snipe and claw at me like you always did when we were using together. I'm done with that. If I can't get peace in my own home (on fucking Thanksgiving, no less), then I will leave and get some peace elsewhere. Sleeping in my office tonight is not something I want to do, but I am exhausted and need rest. Or did you miss that part where I only got five hours sleep in a sixty hour period because I was working insane hours and attending my group meetings? You know, doing what I'm supposed to do to improve our lives, just as you said you wanted. You might have missed it, since you were high much of the time. But facts are facts. And I can only do so much.
I don't like this either, and I'm not trying to punish you or make you feel guilty. I'm not going to turn into one of those newly clean, self-righteous NA boosters who are such hot house flowers that their recovery and its process becomes something like a new addiction and a pain in the ass to everyone around them. I'm not that fragile or needy. But this is serious shit, and I'm trying to turn the corner. You don't get to tell me that you are supportive of my efforts even as you actively undermine them.
I love you, but this can't go on.
Honesty's a bitch, brotha. Don't stop laying it down.